Interracial dating which is worse?

Do you think it's worse for someone to say I would never date outside my race or for them to say I would never date inside my race. Everyone I know who won't date inside their race it's because they feel like the opposite gender of their race is inferior to other races. I have quite a few friends who think like this I find it horrible that they would say such negative comments about their own race. If you're female it's like you're saying that your father brother, grandfather aren't good enough. And if you're a guy it's like you're saying that the woman who raised you and your sisters and your grandmother aren't good enough.

I believe that you shouldn't discriminate against any race when dating and that includes your own race. You should date someone for who they are not what color their skin is or isn't.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You know what the real problem is: It's you & women like you...!

    First you chase the person you like (nothing wrong so far).

    When you realize they are not into you? Instead of accepting their choices, you take rejection too personally, so now you are on a mission to fix that.

    Now coincidentally that person is of the same race as you but going out with someone of different race, it's so much easier to start by calling the person racist then to take the effort to know why the person made such choices.

    If I were around a pushy & aggressive person like that, I wouldn't hesitate to use all necessary and needful tricks up my sleeve to have you leave, including but not limited to confirming okay, you think I am racist and that will make you leave, so be it.

    Long story short, people have their preferences & probably a small number of people have mental illness and issues as a reason of such preferences however who made you dating police?

    Over analysis never helps, and there are lot of women who are psychology student or know someone who is a psychology student, you don't necessarily need to figure out why the person you like is with you or not with you, if he is with you rock their world, if they has chosen someone else, respect their choices as mutual respect of freedom of choice for partner every human being should have and let them be happy.

    If you really have the time and energy to sit and over analyze things, I would strongly recommend focusing that energy and attention to some more pressing issues like World Peace & Hunger which are greatest blemishes of Humankind.

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    • lol dude, did she ever say anything about her feeling this way because her ex broke up with her for someone else of a different race? I think you are adding words to her mouthhhh =O

What Guys Said 9

  • I know of some white women that are very fond of the idea of mixed babies.

    I don't find it racist per se, even if they say that brown skin is prettier than white. It's a preference, even if it is a trait that your own race doesn't have.

    Wether we like it or not, we all prefer certain traits that we don't have ourselves.

    I like women, that's not because I'm ashamed of being a man or of my dad.

    I like blondes although my family is full of brunettes.

    I like petite although my family is quite big boned.

    That doesn't mean I hate who I am myself, it means I like something else in my partner. And I like my children to be intermediates (subconsciously).

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    • I'm not talking people having preferences lol everyone has a preference and that's perfectly OK. It's only a problem when people want to degrade other races or their own race.

    • I think you focus too much on race yourself. Everyone has their reasons to choose a certain partner and you and I have no business in telling people they should inlclude all races or religions, genders, ages, heights, weights. Because even if you claim you would date anyone, you're lying. Dating is not the same as doing job interviews, you can't just say you're being discriminated when they don't like you.

  • Yea,I think either is kind of ridiculous. I'm mixed black and white so no matter what I'm in an interracial relationship. It's stupid to be apposed to dating based on race for any reason because there's always some sort of prejudice or ignorance behind that . Be open to the person, if you're opposed based on race it probably has something to do with a stereotype.

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  • I think both are just as bad as the other. I seen beautiful women of all races, I would date anyone who is beautiful, meets my personality standards and would date me. We are all human in the end, so why does race matter? OH well, those who choose to live in a world where things are just black and white obviously will become a thing of the past.

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  • Hmm which is worse, well there are no non-racist reasons to not date within your own race. That pretty much you believe your race is inferior. To not date outside your race you could potentially not be racist. maybe you live at home and your dad would drown you if he found out or something, so you are just acting out of self-preservation. Not dating your own race seems immediately worse.

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    • Yeah I know some people won't dae outside their race only out of fear

  • It's easy to justify not dating outside your race:

    You're attracted to only those of your race.

    You don't want to deal with race issues in our politically correct world.

    You don't want to deal with another culture, as that can make things harder,

    You want your kids to look more like you and your family...

    There's plenty of good reasons you would say, "I'm not dating outside my race."

    To say, "I won't date my race"? That shows self-hatred of your own race and your own culture, in my opinion. That's fairly serious.

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  • I agree with you, but I've had very bad experiences with women of my own race so I'm very uninclined to date within.

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    • I know a lot of guys like that and they turn their back against their own race when really it could've just the personality of the people in your area. Date whoever makes you happy :)

  • Yeah I think it's equally racist whether you decide never to date outside your race or never to date your own race. Races aren't very important and really don't mean anything. They are just a group of physical characteristics that are common for a certain area of the world. It determines nothing about you as a person. People should just look at people as people and not worry about races at all. Just date someone that you like.

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    • I do feel like it can be equally racist at times

  • Someone saying what race they would or wouldn't date sounds dumb. If I heard that by someone I called a friend I would be put off.

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  • I agree! but speaking as someone who is generally into black girls, I would never disrespect girls of other races and I would be open to dating them but I just generally find myself most physically attracted to black girls

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    • there's nothing wrong with having a preference lol

    • Yes very true :)

What Girls Said 13

  • Yes completely agree.

    I don't buy the whole "preference" thing either...people think it's all down to primal instincts that no one controls and no body can help, but this isn't true. Peoples thoughts and preferences are influenced and swayed subconsciously all the time by outside influences.

    objectively speaking there are good looking people and ugly people in every race, it doesn't make any scientific sense to me why then someone would say they wouldn't date such&such race without some outside bias at work.

    it's just lack of self awareness that makes people put everything they feel down to "instinct"

    if it was really down to "primal instinct" we wouldn't discriminate.

    link

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    • exactly you date someone who you find attractive and who you connect with why would it matter the color of their skin

  • I totally agree! there is nothing wrong with dating someone outside of your race. I know a lot of girls and guys that think that way. Its hard on some points where you are a black girl dating a white guy and his parents may not except you or vice versa. but as long as there is love in the air, it shouldn't matter. I am half black, half white and the guy I am dating is white and we get along perfectly. People have their comments but we don't care :)

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    • I'm so glad you guys are able to happy even with people's rude comments!

  • I've dated both Latino and white men. Some of them half Latino and white, some full Latino, others full white. I like them both. However, White men rarely approach me, white men most frequently reject me. Its gotten to the point that white I still am attracted to white men, I have come to the conclusion that "white men just aren't into me" and I pursue Latino guys.

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  • To me saying you wouldn't date someone inside your race is like saying you hate yourself... I knew a girl who actually said she hated the fact that she was white and then soon after started dating an Indian guy and thought she was all cultural for doing so.

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    • yes everyone I know who says they won't date inside their race also wishes they were a different race and hated their race which is sad.

  • Are you talking specifically about black people? Because honestly, black people and Asian people are the only ethnic groups I've ever seen talk about how they don't want to date members of their own race. They are the only two ethnicities who even fit "If you're female it's like you're saying that your father brother, grandfather aren't good enough. And if you're a guy it's like yoou're saying that the woman who raised you and your sisters and your grandmother aren't good enough".

    I think it's worse for someone to say they would never date inside their race. It means that they have either a self-hating mentality or a superiority compex or a combination of both.

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    • yes it is a lot more common among blacks and asians. I'm black myself so most of the people I've experieced with that metality are black however I've had a few Mexican friends and some white freinds say the same things although it's not as common among them.

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    • fefe884 how is not dating inside your race because they are of your race not racist? By not dating someone because they are of a certain race is defining someone by their skin color that includes not dating your own race because they are not of a different race. In that case they aren't looking at them as individuals.

    • fefe884, sometimes it is. I don't care what you say; I have personally seen people who don't date inside of their race because they have self-hate issues. You and your politically correct comment and thumbs down doesn?t change that fact. I?m not being racist; I?m being HONEST while you are denying reality and acting like this is la-la land and it?s impossible/unrealistic for someone to not date inside their own race because of self-hate.

  • RUBBISH!. People are free to date whomever, wherever, however. We see skin color too much. I am appalled by the number of interracial questions that are posted on here. when I was a child growing up I did not see color, sad but true. People have a preference, it may be white black asian, whatever it is their preference there is nothing wrong with what people like. I am a black girl, if you are attracted to me fine, if you are not fine, doesn't matter I will still be a beautiful black girl.

    growing up in rural Jamaica I had a white friend and an Indian friend but we only saw each other as Jamaicans. There was no such thing as who liked curry from who liked fried chicken or who smelled like hot dog or who had big nose. when I got older and our TV stations are now taken over predominantly American channels things started to change. I started to learn of these stereotypes and that there is actually a "problem" with interracial dating, some of this are still new to me. I recently learn that the word "ebonics" and I recently learned that white guys dated black and Asian girls as a fetish. (RUBBISH)

    My grandfather is scottish

    My grandmother is African

    My other grandfather is syrian

    and I hate these stupid racial posts!

    I wish I could go back to a time when, I did not see race, when my white friend and Indian friend would just lay under a coconut tree and laugh about things that the teacher said at school.

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    • ummm did you actually read my question? I actually promote dating whoever you want and think it's horrible to degrade others who aren't your preference that is what the question is about.

  • I feel like it's worse not to date inside your race. If you don't like your own race, how can you like yourself?

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    • that's how I feel you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. You have to love and be proud of your culture and heritage in order to love someone else's cultrue and heritage.

  • Never date inside their race sounds worse because you wonder if they hate themselves . Not dating out I can understand caz culture differences cause family problems or identity issues for the children.

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  • Some have just preferences you know and it might not be racist per se.

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  • Neither cases are worse than the other, they are both just as bad. I think people whom have a problem with any race, whether their own or another, are indeed VERY racist. I also think that people whom assume that interracial relationships exist because the people involved don't like their race, are again being racist because people ought not to be looking at others based on their skin-color but as a human being -_-

    I'm a black girl, and despite what I said above, I'm still guilty of feeling like my race isn't wanted when I see a black guy dating someone of another race. Lord forgive me.

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  • Not to sound mean but why are you concerned with who will or won't date someone else for whatever reason? Ur making an issue out of something that doesn't even involve you unless your talking about a guy your interested in who won't date you for a "race" reason. This is why things will always be the way they are now because people have to make their opinions known about what someone else is doing with their lives. Leave it be, let people be happy and do what they do, whether you agree or disagree with their decisions.

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    • or people can have intellectual conversations about issues in the world. Ignoring issues doesn't make the world a better place also people are free to express their opinions and people are free to do what ever they want. If you read the question I said I have friends who think like this and I am offended by their comments because they're talking down on people I know and love. Just as you would be offended if people made negative comments about those you love that is why it matters to me.

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    • OK thanks for your advice! Lol did I call the question stupid? Nope I called the point you made in your answer stupid. And honey I'm far from insecure about stuff like this obviously. And like you said we're all entitled to our opinions. You don't like it too bad but I'll go wherever I please. :) you take care now, going around judging others isn't healthy.

    • Did I judge you and did I say you called the question stupid? Nope no I didn't. Oh I also didn't say you were insecure the key word is if. I gues you should pay more attention to what you're reading next time. You may go wherever you please it just doesn't seem smart to go where you don't like but hey if that's what you're in to then go for it.

  • Never dating inside your race is worse.how can you not like your own ppl? That's just sad and unnatural. Not dating out isn't bad because maybe you want someone of the same culture for compatibility. I don't feel like I owe guys of another race an equal opportunity because I'm not an equal opportunity employer

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    • Exactly. If you won't date other races--plenty of good reasons. Maybe you're plain not attracted to their features, and culture shock isn't fun in the stress of dating. But not dating your own race says you really don't like your own race and culture--and that's a part of you.

    • I agree there are many reasons why you can justify not dating outside your race and it has nothing to do with thinking one race is beneath another

  • i'm not raciest I have plenty of friends in my race and have thought a few guys were cute before. but I have never dated someone in my race before. why is that a big deal? I didn't do it on purpose it just hasn't happened.

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    • There's nothing wrong with that! I just think it's wrong when people won't date inside their race because they feel their race is inferior. Nothing wrong if the people you are more compatible with have just been of a different race.

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