The core problem of interracial dating...

Basically colored guys just don't have much social status. I think that is really the gist of it - girls will go for the White guy almost every time - even the Black or the Asian girl. It's a matter of marrying up, sometimes irrespective of whether true love exists or not. You can give me some euphemistic reply like it comes down to personality/culture, but I call it as I see it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay...most black women are not dating white men, first of all. And its really not about that. I can see where a very short sighted view would lead to that conclusion, and society definitely doesn't give much credit to men of color (well, some men of color), but I don't think you can logically conclude that every situation is simply a matter of "marrying up." you're discounting the psychological reality of having an entire life of experiences and a background, upbringing, which influence a taste and comfort in each individual that may not line up with how YOU or society as a whole see someone's "natural match" along the terms of race. And you're also assuming that they go for interracial exclusively. I personally date interracially exclusively, but not everyone does. What if they were previously in love with someone of a "lesser race" ? Were they interested in marrying up then or did the light bulb just suddenly switch on when white guy walked in the room? Or is it possible that things just didn't work out and they happened to find happiness and love with someone of another race?

    It does come down to personality and culture. There are a lot of white people to whom I am not attracted and we have nothing in common culturally. A lot of them would already be seen as lower class than I am (not being mean, just realistic) and I am black, on an individual level, or specific to their local culture and environment.

    And there's a double standard that may be happening here, a very skewed perception on your part. You're only focusing on the woman, but a man makes just as much a decision to date or marry someone. If you're talking about image and overall perception in society, black women are seen as lower than white women or Asian women. Are white men purposely trying to lower themselves by marrying a black woman? And are black men trying to marrying up as well? It is true that many white men are turned off by the perception of black women as less than in society, and influenced by that, even if subconsciously. Men are not exempt from consideration of any social implications in dating or marriage. Exactly the opposite.

    (Unless you mean, it is just how the relationship is perceived, as marrying up, and not a core motive of the people involved.)

    I think there is some truth to what you're saying in some cases. I don't think my own preferences are really tied to that (upbringing, comfort, culture, phyiscal taste, etc. for me) but I do know that how much value you attach to people in society does drastically influence their attractiveness. However, that doesn't change the fact that twice as many black men are with white women, dating or married, and black men have a horrible reputation in society. Asian men are higher up in social status, yet they are often rated as the least desired and attractive men in American society. SO. Logic leads us to understand that while social status affects things, there must be other things happening in how we view race/sex.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I really do think it's more of a cultural thing. It may just be because I am young, but I don't really take a guy's social status into account when I choose who I'm going to go out with. Do people really do that?

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  • This isn't the 50s...don't refer to yourself as 'colored' lol.

    I've only been with white guys and it has absolutely nothing to do with their color, or their social status. I honestly don't care about the color of someones skin...I care about their personality and if they are cute ;)

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  • i'm a white girl and I've only dated black guys, its not a "preference" that I have, it just happened to be that way. most nice girls worth dating won't care what race you are, they'll care if you're funny and nice and all that stuff.

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  • I think Asian guys are hot but for some reason they don't like me so I 'm scared to approach them

    I have also heard from other people that I would get rejected so I don't .

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    • Thanks for answer - so would you be saying you would give an Asian/Black suitor equal consideration to White suitor, all else being equal?

    • Yes if they would do the same for me

  • that's a generalization, not all women date a white guy as a way to marry up. You make it seem like guys of any other race can't be successful. I happen to find white guys attractive it's just a preference. I don't have a problem dating a guy of another race as long as we get along.

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    • I'm talking at the broad statistical level and you are talking fine individual level - I completely agree individually some Asian/Black guy can be successful, but you make it sounds as if it's a level playing field when it's not. It has never been, historically, culturally, I'm not stating fiction.

  • I fail to see the question here.

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  • So, what do you want us to say then to your statement. It's not a question.

    Gals like attractive guys. I saw an attractive Asian guy a few days ago---and he is probably the first Asian guy I've noticed in a couple of years at least.

    There are lots of Asian guys that are not attractive.

    Not a racial thing so much. It's just that in every race there are attractive people and unattractive people.

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What Guys Said 2

  • So what's "the problem" then?

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  • I'm a white guy who has had his fair of dry spells. Unless you're an extremely high-status man or a reasonably attractive woman, dating takes work regardless of race.

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