Should the guy always pay on a date?

A guy I met recently hinted that he'd like to take me out. He's a bit shy, and suggested that if we did go out somewhere, he'd like me to pick the place.

My dilemma is that I'd feel like a very ungrateful date if I made him pay, especially if I picked where we were going. I would feel much more comfortable showing my thanks by paying for at least half. However, I always hear that when a woman pays, she's signaling that she's not interested in being more than friends, and that isn't the message I want to send either. Would paying be a mistake?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm a shy person, and I've at least thought about asking the girl to pick a place before.

    For me personally, I don't care about the cost unless you're asking to go to a 5 star restaurant or something. It's more about making you feel comfortable and taking you to a place you'd like to go instead of guessing and hoping I picked right.

    If I were the guy, I'd have no trouble paying for both of us, and I would not want you to feel ungrateful just because you picked. I'm the one that asked you out and want to get to know you better.

    Just out of curiosity, where did/would you pick?

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    • Thanks so much for your answer!

      I'm not too sure where I'd pick. Since the Christmas season is coming up, and there are lots of light shows/festivals in my area, I thought going to one might be nice. Something other than dinner and a movie. I'm not sure if he'd think that was silly, but I guess I'll find out soon!

    • That sounds like a really fun idea. Not silly at all.

    • Really? Thank you! I'm a bit more confident about it now.

What Guys Said 3

  • I was raised if you ask some one on a date you Pick the place and you always foot the bill guy or girl it's the asker's idea the asker must pay

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  • The simple protocol is the person who asks for the date is the one who pays.

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  • Stop thinking so much. Let him pay.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I agree with you! But I say if he offers, let him pay, and have a witty line planned to let him know you're paying next time :) Something like "Thanks! This was fun; where can I take you on our next date?" Place extra emphasis on the word date, that way he knows you didn't just think this was dinner with a friend.

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    • Thank you, great suggestion! I'll definitely use a line like this.

  • Should he? Not necessarily. It wouldn't be fair for one or the other to pay all the time unless they truly insisted upon it.

    But you're thinking too much into this. Offer to pay half if you feel like you should. If he's fine with that then no more worries. If he insists otherwise then let him pay. The fact that you showed interest in paying your half should be enough of a good impression on its own.

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