Hey so me and this girl knew each other 6 years ago, and started off liking each other. However we couldn't see each other then so we talked a lot on the phone and just saw each other whenever we had ACT classes. Kept in touch maybe once a year by meeting up once every summer but kept it at that during college. Now I am out and she is back home as well and we met up. Started to just meet up on the weekends and after about 3 weeks we cuddled and talked in the dark in my basement. A couple weeks after that we did the same thing and kissed on her bed while watching a movie and I finally asked her out then and she said yes. I stayed until about 6am before I came home. Then 3 days later I came over to her house to pick something up and I was in a bit of a rush as a friend came from out of state and I just had a hectic day at work. I hugged her when I met her, and goodbye. But she was upset that I wasn't very warm or kissed her, being affectionate, and so we didn't talk too much that end of the week. On Sunday, exactly a week after I asked her out, she texted me saying we don't feel like dating and more like friends. And well I was confused at that point because she said she still liked me and never not wanted to hangout with me. I didn't exactly know what to say? I thought we were breaking up so I told her a little about how I felt and asked her to give me another shot and I'd give her time if she needed to think things over. She texted me the next day and we started talking again normally, flirty, etc. On wed(3 days later) I surprised visited her after work with a box of chocolates. We hung out, went shopping and held hands. After I kissed her goodbye after I dropped her off. I kinda assumed we were back together so I kinda hinted that maybe we were dating last weekend, but she texted me saying "we're dating?" She also told me that she knows she would feel awkward if we were dating.
I talked to her on the phone a couple days ago and she still told me she likes me. I don't think she feels uncomfortable in any way as we have known each other for awhile and she's told me stuff that my normal girlfriends wouldn't. We have liked each other throughout the past 6 years and couldn't really move forward due to school and being apart. But now since we are progressing, she is suddenly pulling back and I don't know exactly why? She was usually the one to ask to hangout in between the years. When I talked to her on the phone, technically we didn't break up 2 weeks ago, but we are def. not together right now. She doesn't really respond or text me back like she did last week and I feel like we are drifting farther apart. I tried multiple times to meet up with her in person, but she always said she was tired or busy avoiding me. I've been losing sleep just thinking about what went wrong and haven't eaten much either.. I just don't know what is going on. I can't understand why she would feel awkward dating me. Should I just stop talking to her and give her time?
Most Helpful Girl
I'm not sure if I am missing something here but...listen I know you feel like she is saying no because of what she said but I am hearing her say she likes you and wants to be around you. I am wondering if the issue is the simple one that happens often. A guys suggests going out or says how he feels and then nothing happens. The woman expected to be asked to an actual real date sooner (one he planned) and for the relationship to progress faster. You suggested it but it doesn't sound like you've planned an actual date and yes for a girl, waiting a few days, a week or two weeks is a long time especiall when she's been waiting 6 years already. When you have asked her to get together has it been last minute or have you tried to plan some days in advance? Every girl wants to think that you think of them when you aren't there, that you'll put time and thought into seeing her and that you would court her like a princess.
Also, remember you guys have liked each other for a long time. While others have moved closer/made decisions that allowed them to date, you two (meanng you) have used the excuse of distance to keep you apart for 6 years. Now you are still dragging your feet. I'm sure this is not what her fantasies of the last 6 years has looked like. If you had just told her you wanted to be with her years ago, you guys may have worked out a way to make it happen way before now.
Dude, stop being slow and go scoop your woman up and romance her. Be clear with your intentions, follow through on that date and many more. And no, hanging out is not dating.