Dating multiple people at one time? yea or nay?

What do you think of people who date multiple people at once?

Here's an article arguing for it: link

Here's an article against it: link

  • I'm cool with it. gotta keep your options open
    32% (11)30% (7)32% (18)Vote
  • I'm against it. it's like your leading the person you're dating on
    50% (17)57% (13)53% (30)Vote
  • I don't really have an opinion on this, but I want to see the results.
    18% (6)13% (3)15% (9)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
"I also think that most of the people that believe in dating more than one person, would not be happy if they found out the person they just went on a date with, was going on a date with someone else the next day."


True or false for those that are for it?
To those who are against it: if you are open and honest about it from the get go, how would you feel about that?

0|0
22|10

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it's a good idea. One person (or multiple people) can be a friend and one and only one can be a love interest.

    It's like cooking too many things at once. You start off good, sampling a little of each, yummm that tastes good. Then! You like pot one a lot and pot three a little too. Pot two gets cold and you forget about it while you're trying out pot three, cause you kinda wanna get more of pot three. Dang, you completely forgot about pot four! You scoop a little of that out and all the while are diggin pot one, now pot one is spilling over and you can't remember to spice pot two or three or four? Wait, did you already put salt in them? Oh gosh, then it's just a big mess.

    One at a time, then you can find out if you like something without messing up all those pots and overstimulating your tongue.

    3|1
    1|0

What Girls Said 21

  • Hi :) Thanks for sharing those articles. I read the two of them, and now I'll tell you my personal opinion on that matter.

    I am sure against it. Dating someone or getting to know someone means that you have signed an imaginary oath to open your heart to them in order to explore their world and let them explore yours. In order to do that, you gotta make them feel special. Knowing that you are dating several people at the same time, do you think he/she will allow you to step inside their personal space/their world and most importantly their mind and heart? Why would I waste time on someone who treats me like I'm one among others. I have a number. Maybe I'm number 7 or maybe I'm number 4. I'm just given a number.

    So, if you are given a number, will you share your secrets? Will you open your heart to that person? Will you allow them in? I don't think so.

    People who argue for multiple dating are doing so for a group of reasons which are:

    1) They think it's good for experimenting. Well, sorry to break this one for you but the majority of people don't consider themselves rats.

    2) They like the attention they get from multiple people. Well, dating isn't about getting attention. You gotta tell that person that you are only after their attention and see how it goes from there. If he/she is OK with it, then enjoy!

    3) They want to speed up their mating success rate. Well, you can be exclusive to someone and get to know them better and if you felt like he/she wasn't the one for you, then you can breakup with that person and move to the other one. You gotta focus your energies on one person in order to know him better and make better judgements.

    4) They don't believe in love (either due to a series of bad relationships or they're just like that). Such people only to have a good time. But I'm sorry to tell you that you're breaking someone's heart by doing this. I know most people nowadays are selfish, but you gotta have some morals that hold you back from playing with people's hearts and leading them on. If you want to have fun with no strings attached, then please let them know first and see how it goes from there. Again, if they're OK with it, then you aren't hurting anyone.

    There can be a lot of different reasons as to why people date multiple persons at the same time. I don't agree with it. It's not for me. When I get to know someone, I focus on him. I want to know HIM. He's not just another number in a queue of guys waiting to receive a pass.

    Have a nice day. :)

    3|1
    0|0
  • I think it's acceptable. To go out on a date for the first time with someone and then be expected to "commit' yourself to them without actually making a formal commitment to that person... It seems absurd. The only reason I date multiple people are only cause of one reason that's mentioned in the for it argument which is "You’re more likely to find the right relationships". When I decide to date, I'm doing it because I'm ready for a relationship. Not to have fun. Not because I'm afraid of commitment. Not to get attention or any of the reason the against it article seems to imply. I'm in it to find the right mate for me . It only makes sense for me to date different guys and find my match. Otherwise I could end up missing out on my mate. If I feel like having fun and don't plan on making a commitment then I'd make it clear BEFORE the date. I'd also always be honest and upfront when asked whether I'm seeing different guys or not. It's not a secret or something I keep hidden.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I think as long as you're honest about your intentions then there isn't anything wrong with dating multiple people.

    Personally, I wouldn't be intimate with more than one person - I consider dating the "getting to know you part" of a relationship. Intimacy is a different thing altogether.

    1|0
    0|0
  • vote AAAAAAAA!

    i think its a good idea because your seeing what's out there and all your possible matches...and if you like one more than the other than you can make it exclusive...as long as you don't lead them both on then I think its okay because its just dating..theres no strict rules in black and white saying you can not date multiple girls..because why?...because your single and you can do literally whatever the hell you want...until you want to make one a girlfriend..then of course your just seeing her and no one else :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Concerning your update: I assume the person I am dating is seeing/sleeping with other people until they tell me otherwise.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Unless you've mutually decided to be exclusive, I think it's okay to date more than one person at a time. That's just a way to get to know different kinds of people and figure out what you want in a partner faster than if you only allowed yourself to be with one person at a time. I wouldn't want to waste my time on one person who's just convenient when there might be someone else out there who's better for me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think its a good way to date. If I'm not committed I can and will do what I want.i'm not tied down to a guy just because we've been dating.you gotta increase your options to find the best one

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its not for me but each to their own. Its not something that's really done where I'm from actually it's not really accepted , you're either with someone or you're not

    0|0
    0|0
    • @update. Probably not. Who likes to hear I'm keeping my options open

  • The purpose of dating is to explore the options. Who wants to spend 3+ months exclusively dating people one by one only to find that the relationship isn't going to work!? In my opinion honesty is key. If you are dating around then say so. Be open and honest with the people you are dating about NOT being exclusive. As always I find sex to be personal. You can't screw all your datees! Sex is reserved for personal relationships if you ask me.

    0|0
    1|0
  • If I had more time and was interested in getting to know other guys before choosing which one I want to continue dating then yes, I might do it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nope, I've gotten screwed over too many times because I was led on. Unless you're upfront right away to the people your dating and tell them your keeping your options open, then nope that's shady.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I dated two guys at the same time and it was mess. They ended up fighting with each other. For my ego it was a real boost, but at the same time I felt horrible. I won't ever do that again. I don't like to hurt anyone.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nay. It's tacky, selfish, and not fair to the other people.

    0|0
    0|0
    • @ update, I'd be completely disinterested. It's not a good situation to get into imo. I don't like more or less being told "You're going to have to compete to get a chance with me" I don't like the idea of dating someone who's lips were on another girl a couple of hours ago or the other day. I don't want to set myslef up for a situation where a guy is more or less saing "I may drop you at any second for some other girl."

    • Show All
    • I understand that, but you would rather know upfront instead of him never letting you know right?

    • Yes, but knowing that he's like that would make me unattracted and disinterested in him romantically all together.

  • No

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes

    0|0
    0|0
  • as long as everyone knows and is comfortable with it..

    1|0
    0|0
  • From experience, it's not a good idea. At least for me personally

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think there's anything wrong with it. It is kind of awkward, blatantly asking someone "what are we?" but I feel like you really do need to ask. or at least ask if they are dating other people,a round about way of getting your answer without involving yourself in the center of the question. unless someone says you are in an exclusive relationship, its not always wise to assume you are.

    its definitely more competitive lol like that person isn't just focused on getting to know you, they are also focused on getting to know other people. but if you both know where you stand, which is important, then do what works for you. you can't really demand exclusivity if you're not in an official relationship and even then, you can only bow out and find someone who is more compatible with you.

    its hard to say, because how do you define dating? lets say you are dating one guy. you aren't in an official, exclusive relationship. you meet other people. does going out with other guys one on one means you are dating them? I know dating is supposed to be the pursuit of a relationship, but that's not actually what it ends up being. you are considering a relationship, but really just getting to know people and see if you like them. so what if you are going out one on one getting to know other people as well? does that mean you're dating them as well? should you just chain yourself to one person and never go out with anyone who could possibly end up being a love interest? you may be accused of dating other people. just something I think about when it comes to this topic.

    the key is expressing your availability (im not single) when in a relationship. however, if you're only dating someone else, then what do you say? "well, I'm not technically in a relationship, but I might be eventually...maybe" someone who is really interested in you may not take that as a good answer, and try to persuade you differently. you may not even think it sounds like a good answer yourself.

    i understand wanting to date one person at a time, but you may be missing out on other options. it is fairer to the person you're dating if they are only dating you as well. that's why I think its important to ask or hint at whether or not they are only dating you or other people. you may not want to do it after the first date (after the first date, you may not call them again lol) but after a few dates, I would ask. its always awkward, imo, but it must be done.

    i don't think either one is inherently wrong or right. different things suit different people, but I do think you should be honest about it so no one gets hurt and make your intentions known. don't just do it and then have sh*t blow up in everyones face, including your own. on the other hand, investing all your time in one person, or putting all your eggs in one basket, can be (often is) a waste of time and you may miss out on someone much better suited for you because you're loyal to someone youve known for two weeks.

    0|0
    1|0
  • I'm for it

    0|1
    1|0
    • Why? and do you think my update is true?

    • Show All
    • "I also think that most of the people that believe in dating more than one person, would not be happy if they found out the person they just went on a date with, was going on a date with someone else the next day."

      True or false?

    • Depends on the person

      A committed person: true

      A non committed one: false

      :)

  • Totally against it.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I'm against it I didn't read the article but I don't like giving my attention to more than one person at a time.

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 10

  • 50 years ago I could have understood the point of dating multiple people, today, not so much.

    With cell phones, social media, the internet, etc. It much easier to get to know who a person is and what they look like before needing a second date. At least enough to know if its worth a second date. The communication is also faster which makes this process faster. You can determine almost instantly if a person is worth your time. A long time ago, there was no Facebook to look at, online dating profiles to see, google searches to do, text messages to ask questions. You had to go on multiple dates to keep learning more, which meant if you did it one at a time, the process would be to slow. This is no longer the case.

    I also think that most of the people that believe in dating more than one person, would not be happy if they found out the person they just went on a date with, was going on a date with someone else the next day. So they're being a hypocrite or simply lying to themselves.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Even if she was honest, it wouldn't change my opinion.

    I would appreciate the honest, but I still not call her back. In my opinion, dating should not be like pulling teeth. If you are 100% invested in developing our relationship, even if that means just talking and getting to know each other at the moment, then I'm not going to waste my time. If I really like a girl, why would I want to keep pursuing her if she is only 50% sure if she is interested in me.

    Again, you have to remember that this is the 21st century. Dating is rarely as cold as is it used to be. What I mean by that is when we go on a date with someone now, it's rarely our first time ever meeting or interacting with them. It's usually just the formal way of saying, I'm interested in you, let's try taking things to the next level.

    0|0
    0|0
  • In my own personal opinion, I'm okay with polygamous relationships so long as all members in the relationship are okay with this. I hope that one day, a group of like, 3-5 people who all love each other and want to all be together forever would be able to be together in a polygamous union. I don't like the idea of dating several people at once without all involved parties being aware and accepting of the situation. I know it sounds very unlikely and maybe odd, but if a group of people really did mutually love each other, why should we force them to split into groups of two? Love is love dang it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've done it before. It can be a mess. You attract the same types of people. Nobody looking for anything serious. If you're not looking for anything serious, go for it. I honestly notice most of the "game players" are the types to date multiple people.

    As a guy definitely avoid it if you're the type to pay for dates and such as well.

    0|0
    0|0
  • What do you think of dating multiple people at once? Isn't it very expensive? Wouldn't you get better value just taking out one lady once in a while? ;-)

    Are you actually that hot that you can do this? What reputation do you want to get? Will that reputation harm your chances in the future?

    I usually find myself incredibly attracted to just one person at a time. So what's the point of seeing the other people I'm only like "meh, I used to like you but now I like this other one, so meh"

    1|0
    0|0
  • Me and my friends continue to argue over this bit. If I choose to do this, I'd feel like I'm conforming to what everyone around me is doing. I have, and probably always will, believed for a long time now that focusing on one person at a time is the key to finding someone worth dating. However, if the other formula works for you, then by all means. Just be sure to let the person know. No one likes surprises of this sort.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't see a problem with it if you're using it as a way to meet new people, but once you know which one you want you should stop seeing the others. If you meet a girl in a class (i.e. college, art, etc.), she's works with you at the same job, or you go to the same church or something then you have plenty of opportunity to get know her without dating her. If she's just the cute girl in the coffee shop or the girl you've seen in the condo elevator a couple of times, no big deal dating her a little bit to get to know her and also doing the same with other random girls to meet here and there.

    0|0
    0|0
  • My opinion is that dating more than one person can be a good thing as long as you do it respectfully and honestly. Also, I wouldn't be quick to judge someone as incapable of or against having a meaningful relationship. Truth is, a person dates multiple people so they CAN find that person who means a lot to them.

    It depends on how long you've been going out with both of them.

    If you've only been out with them once or twice, and you have no immediate physical chemistry with either person, then it's not cheating to see several people at once, because you haven't made any agreements with anybody to be exclusive. If it's just someone you've dated once or twice, then they have no authority to inquire you on or tell you if you are or should be dating other people or not.

    But let's say it's been like more than 3 dates, and there is physical chemistry, then it's only fair that you narrow things down to one person.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think you should only do one at a time.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It's wrong.

    2|0
    1|0
    • Well, if you're clearly not so interested in ONE of them that the others aren't even an interest to date, you're really not going to have a serious relationship with any of them.

      Now, if you're not looking for something serious, fine. So long as you're not leading any of them on and they know it's casual.

Loading...