How Long to Pursue Her

Alright, ladies, I could use your thoughts and suggestions on a situation with a girl I've been on a couple dates with.

First, I'll preface all this with the fact that I don't believe she's dated much, and possibly never had a serious relationship before (we haven't gotten into relationship discussions on our dates yet...I've got a long history of relationships and I don't want to get too deep/heavy too fast). She's 26, I'm 29.

She's a great girl with a golden heart. A little quiet, til you get her one-on-one. She's really pretty and we've got a lot in common. We grabbed some coffee for our first "date," and I followed that one up by asking her to go ice skating and to dinner...which we did. She had no clue how to skate and she was really cute trying to learn haha. I'm pretty sensitive to her not having much dating experience and wanted to break that "touch barrier" in a non-intrusive/awkward way. We had a great time. She thanked me numerous times and was really energetic about the night after our date. I dropped her off and gave her a hug...didn't go for a kiss. Didn't feel it was right just yet.

Gave her a couple compliments to which she didn't really respond to.

I tried to give her a call a couple nights ago to ask her out for a third date, and she didn't answer. I didn't leave a message.

I haven't heard back from her, either by call or text, since then. It's only been a couple days, but she's always spend pretty quickly to me before.

Do you think she's signaling that she's not interested anymore? Or is she waiting for me to try her again?

I like her, and I'm OK pursuing her, but I want to let her breathe, especially given her lack of experience. So, I'm trying to be a man and initiate but be respectful at the same time.

Any insight as to what might be going through her head? I don't believe this is a case where I can just straight up ask her, either. We're not close enough for that yet.

Should I wait a few more days and try and reach her again?

Typo above: she's always RESPONDED pretty quickly to me before*

Most Helpful Girl

  • Aww you sound so sweet. I really like the way you're approaching this, just by the way lol.

    She might be confused actually that you didn't kiss her, because sometimes if a girl hasn't dated much, she'll have expectations that she got from a movie or something and that just seems like what should have happened.. if you hang out with her next time, pay careful attention to how she looks at you.. I'm not quite sure how else to describe it other than expectant, and it might be even harder to catch if she really hasn't had much experience.

    This might also just be a fluke, sometimes I call someone and my call just doenst go through to them. I've sat in a room before with someone, and called them, and watched my phone ring, but nothing show up on theirs lol.. not saying that's ALWAYS going to be the case if you don't hear back from someone.. but its a possibility.

    Yea, I think maybe wait a few more days, but if you don't mind, call her again. Maybe text first, just to have a conversation of sorts, hi, how are you doing, something something- to see if she really is ignoring you. and if she isnt, call later and ask her out again.

    • Thanks for your answer! Definitely understand what you're saying. She's definitely tougher to decipher than other girls I've been out with or had relationships with. She's a really traditional girl, a Christian, and from a generally conservative background. All 3 of which I really like about her.

      I wondered about the call maybe not having gone through, too, because she did make a comment on our date about how sometimes one of her girl friend's texts don'e always come through the right way.

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    • Well, lets hope that IS the case! =)

    • Oh, yea 2 days is nothing really. (In my opinion)

      And yes that's a possibility too, if that is the case then kinda let her decide. If she feels like she should, the she might do it herself.