How are overweight girls getting men?

Guys say they don't like fat girls, yet these women are dating and marrying. This question isn't meant to put down anyone so please don't take it that way.I'd just like to know how even though guys say all this stuff, big women apparently aren't having problems. And when I say dating,I don't mean fwb,I mean real girlfriend and even marriage. I'm a little insecure at times but I'd like to know their secret for dating in a look-centric society that tells women we have to be hot like men magazine models to have success with guys.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Some of these answers are disgusting! There is no "one size fits all" answer for this.. No pun intended.

    What I think? Self-confidence, self-worth, and some people aren't so shallow. Looks aren't ALWAYS everything. There ARE people out there that don't always think in terms of how much another person weighs.

    Different body types attract different people. I was called attractive when I was overweight, and I am called attractive now.

    And don't settle just because you don't have a lot of self-confidence. Don't ever, ever, EVER under any circumstances settle for anything less than you deserve. If someone is worth your time, they will stick around and your weight isn't really going to matter. But at the same time, don't set yourself up with an idea of some "type" and have a picture of how your significant other should look. That would make you just like everybody else. The girl that posted just before me has an INCREDIBLE answer and I think it's one of the most intelligent responses to your post. Nobody wants to be the one someone settled for. Or as she put it, a "consolation prize".

    I understand that this answer might be idealistic and unrealistic... But I like to hold on to SOME notion that there are good people in the world who don't have the same ideas as most of the responses to your question.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I'd rather have a fat girl who is nice and actually cares about me & doesn't view me as a success object than a slim girl who suffers from the dreaded female entitlement mentality. Looks sure as hell aren't everything.

    Ofcourse, I'd rather have neither.

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  • I have a heavy set friend and she has a lot of trouble finding a nice guy. She has no trouble attracting guys mind you, I was amazed to find that out too, but most of these guys just want sex because they figure a fat girl will be easy to score or they are morons whilst my friend is very intelligent. She has a lot of choise, but not a lot of good options.

    As for dating advise in a looks centered society... Compromise.

    I'm a total disaster when it comes to attracting girls, but only because I'm picky. If I would settle for average looking girls, I would have my pick. If you are willing to go for less attractive men, you too will be able to get married and have kids, likely to a wonderful guy even.

    But my guess is that you are just like me and everybody else, we want the absolute best we can get.

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  • It's because girls have no Idea what fat means.

    When a guy says fat he means

    link

    A girl means this

    link

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  • because guys aren't able to get tons of girls hitting on them all the time and some guys don't have good luck with women so they go for the bigger girls because they have bad luck with women and realize that they will have better odds of getting girl if she is less attractive. Guys saying it's personal taste or whatever are all full of garbage. Maybe in terms of height and size I can see the argument for taste in women like if guy preferred taller girl with some meat on her bones (not overweight though) than very small petite girl but no guy is going to enjoy being with an overweight girl.

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  • honestly I don't look at it as them being bigger on the outside there hearts are bigger on the inside my girlfriend has so many friends and loves a lot of people including me so I know my kids will be loved and that's all I want..the others will run from responsibility and want to party for ever and such no good with guys at all XD

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  • Mens' tastes in the appearance of women, varies WAY more widely than the very narrow scope of "attractiveness" that the Western media portrays.

    Personality matters A LOT as well. Looks don't have to be the "anchor factor" in the guy choosing his female partner.

    To be frank, for most guys passable looks is usually good enough, as long as they click in other non-physical ways (mental, emotional, spiritual, etc.)

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  • Some guys like meat with their potatoes...

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  • I tend to find bigger women have great personalities, their easy to approach and they suffer no delusions of grandeur. They probably don't get the same sort of attention as a thin girl so they always make the most of the attention they get and receive it politely.

    Basically the more you get of anything the more it's taken for advantage.

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  • Because if a man is short or ugly non-fat women will completely ignore him and reject any advances he makes.

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    • So you're saying that all the fat women getting married are doing so with short, ugly men? lol That's not what I saw. o_o ... Maybe they are not super awesome models, but they are not precisely short and ugly. It's basically your average male. So I disagree with your answer, although that is easily believable.

    • Over an entire population you will find that unattractive people date unattractive people and attractive people date attractive people. Sure there is the odd anomaly but they are just that, an anomaly. Most fat women are married to unattractive men.

  • Some of them got big boobs.

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  • Because the guy just isn't having any luck with normal slender sized women.

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  • I'm guessing you're fairly attractive and slender? But trouble with men? Don't worry! I'm climbing the tree, but I'm getting stuck in the freggin branches because I'm an idiot. I'm going to climb high enough to find you soon and pluck your apple...or pop your cherry. Whatever suits you! LOL

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    • I guess people here don't really have a good sense of humor! And they wonder why they're single :/

  • Most of them are with other fat dudes from what I see

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  • They are having plenty of problems. They get hit on by guys that use them for various reasons a lot because people think they have low self esteem. It's them and single mothers, I think, that get hit the hardest with that.

    Anyway, to answer your question, they can still be physically attractive with very compatible personalities that makes them enjoyable to be around. Their standards might not be excessively high like some other girls either.

    There's a thing that some guys say where a modelish looking girl that has a fat girl's personality is the perfect girl.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Just like guys who are less attractive... they rely more on their personality. :) A friend of mine has been obese for as long as I've known her, and even in high school she had no problem getting guys because she's just so smart and funny! A couple years ago, she finally met a guy who she wanted to stay with, so she got motivated to get in shape. She's lost around 80 pounds and looks freaking gorgeous. Looking back, I'm sure that same attitude and determination is what made her boyfriend fall in love with her.

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  • There are many reasons beneath this.Some guys married them because of love and they are attracted to their personality.Some choose them so that they can dominate them because they know many big girls who are self conscious so they take advantage from their issue.Third these girls do not have high standard like other girls do.Fourth as Poetic Ninja said they are 'safe.'

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  • Well, not all guys dislike big women, and some guys claim to love them. remember ; beauty's in the eye of the beholder.

    -love Sosa

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  • There are quite a few men out there who do prefer larger/overweight women. Apart from the physical aspect maybe some of them are emotionally connected to each other. One man's meat maybe another man's poison. Besides that, they may also be looking for bigger assets.

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  • in their eyes they are curvy or so I've experienced. I don't know what you consider fat but for me any girl over 140 is already kinda fat just because it's overweight but it also depends on height.

    I wondered that too for a while but I kinda just gave up. Guys do love a woman with curves. usually magazine models are not curvy though. a lot of guys I know don't like stick girls (even though I envy them, the think we're crazy.)

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  • Taste is subjective. What may be "wrong" to one man may be "just right" for another.

    Besides, a woman of any size, shape, or color that knows who she is and is confident about it can always be successful in life and in love. :-)

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  • It's always with guys who are ugly facially, also fat, or have low self esteem. Or she has her curves in the right places and/or is very pretty in the face.

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  • They're safe, like an unattractive guy would be.

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  • I think at some point attraction isn't based on the number on the scale. It's more about who can click with best and who offers me. Thin girls are also dating and marrying men, so weight obviously isn't a factor for everyone. You love who you love.

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  • Confidence

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  • I've always wondered the same thing. When I was fat, I NEVER got any kind of positive attention from men. The positive attention I DID get was friendly only.

    I had to lose a ton of weight just to get my first date at the age of 24.

    I suppose it all has to do with how you feel about yourself. When I was fat, you could look at me and tell I was miserable and uncomfortable in my own skin, and that can be a bummer for everyone. Some overweight people are proud of their bodies, and express that, therefore people are attracted to them. Attitude really has a lot to do with it.

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  • i feel kind of disgusted by most of these answers like "they can't do better" "they're settling for less" "they're a safe option"

    I'm a little overweight, and if this is really the only things guys think of me then I'd rather no guys approach me and just leave me well alone

    I'm not going to be anyone's consolation prize or last resort.

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  • I think most of them were cute at one point and once they get married they let themselves go...

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