Dating a middle aged widower...

Anyone with experience dating a widower? How do you know if they're ready, and are they very warm and flirty and more withdrawn, though still very friendly, another time?

I really like this guy, he's been widowed just over 1.5 years. Sometimes he flirts, other times no, but he always makes time for me and we do spend hours together, happily chatting away. behavior wise he's very sweet, old world manners, and he does remember many little things.

I'll always remain friends with him, but I don't know if I should squash that little kernel of hope that we could be more.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Has he even hinted at something more? It sure doesn't sound like it to me. A year and a half is long enough to be ready after a death of a spouse (not sure if it's something you ever get over so much). Next time you are together, bring it up, just in a manner that you value the friendship over everything so he's assured to keep the friendship in the event he doesn't want more.

    • Thanks for replying! He was very close with his late wife (I knew them as a coupe), after her death, he became very ill, and it's only been the last 2 months that he's started to recover. Before that he was pretty much just waiting to die. Now his mood and outlook has improved tremendously. I admit I am afraid of ruining the friendship, both for myself and for him (he's quite a loner, I'm one of the few he's let in since his wife passed.)

    • Yeah, I can understand your caution. Here's what I would do then. Ask to meet as a friend over coffee or somewhere. Just tell him you'd like to try being more than friends. But make it clear, you are 100% okay with whatever he decides and you don't want to hurt the friendship and you respect his wishes.

      That should let you know without ending the friendship.


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What Guys Said 3

  • All depends on him. My cousin had a husband that got murdered. I'd say it took her about a year to get over it and a year after that she got together with someone new. That was like 5 years ago? She's married now to that guy, with kids :). She's extremely happy from what I can tell.

  • if you really want to be with him give it a shot, especially if he seems receptive. 1.5 years is quite the bit of time to be single. who knows though, you won't know until you try

  • People are people and their personality traits are like other humans even through great loss and tragedy.


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