Do I just pick up the phone & talk it out in person?

Earlier in the year I told this guy who was leaving town that I had feelings for him. This was after a period of him giving me indications it was mutual, and I sent mixed messages and in the meantime he met someone else and when I told him I liked him he goes "so you tell me this now when I have someone else to confuse me?" which I don't know what he meant by that. So he couldn't date me then and that was OK. All I asked was he keep my "confession" to himself. He didn't. And assuming he said all bad things to embarrass me, in my anger I messaged him horrible things about him. He said sorry but in between me sending even more abuse so it looked like I didn't accept his apology.

Once I saw that no one treated me differently and he actially hadn't told anyone much of our 2 hr conversation, I ended up apologizing by text but heard nothing more from him. & he was gone so it didn't matter but he came back here for a few weeks and our mutual friends said he wants to make amends but we didn't talk. I didn't even acknowledge him when he would stand beside me.

I thought my text apologies made it OK between us, but the mutual friends said after those texts he was feeling awkward and scared to approach me and I should say sorry in person so HE knows it's OK. I didn't. Is it really so wrong and impersonal to apologize by text or should I call him? Would you accept text apologies?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • So, you did all this?

    1. You tell him that you like him when he's unavailable

    2. You made assumptions that he bad-mouthed you without any evidence

    3. You began verbally abusing him through text messages

    4. You send an apology by text message, then ignored him in person

    5. You refused to apologize in person, despite encouragement from mutual friends

    If I were him, I would want nothing to do with you. If you were to apologize in person, I may accept it, but I'd have no interest in a relationship or friendship with you. I wouldn't be replying to any texts anymore. There's just too much abuse, craziness, and pride emanating from you.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You had a chance to be close to him and that time has passed. People don't just sit around waiting - life's too short.

    No more messaging him.

    Especially like that.

    Too late to apologize.

    Let it go.

    Text Means Nothing. Nothing. Even in person it is a waste of time. He is not in your control. No I wouldn't accept text apologies.

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  • He is doing dramas.Tell him to join some theater. Every apology is fine but if he want go and tell him in person. It won't be making any difference. He is already gone.

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What Girls Said 1

  • In this day an age text seems a bit impersonal. If it's possible to see him in person, then do that. If not, then pick up the phone and call him and talk. It's hard to read emotion via text...how's he to know if that was a sarcastic apology or an actually heartfelt one.

    I'll text an apology to someone if I'm in a position that I can't talk at that moment, but I still always make the phone call to let that person know that I'm sorry for whatever I did.

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