Would you still talk to your ex

She ended things with me a little over a week ago. Did it over the phone and didn't give me much explanation. I really want to talk face to face and just get some closure. I texted her last Sunday and asked if I could come over and talk, she was hesitant at first, but then agreed, but said she was working all week. So I wait the whole week and give her a text last night, no response. So I text her again today just saying "when are you not working" no reply. So I text her again an hour later saying "can you talk to me please" She finally texts me several hours later saying she was at work and to stop pestering her right now.

Would you ever treat an ex this way? I haven literally sent only those two texts today and that's only because I didn't hear from her yesterday. We never fought or anything when we were going out, and I haven't said anything negative or at all to her. I just want to talk for an hour. I'm not even trying to get back together, I just want some closure. So now I don't know if I should just continue to wait for her to text me, or if I should try and text her later tonight? But I'm not asking for much, am I?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't send her another text message. She'll probably feel pressured if you continue to send text message. She knows that you want to talk, so if she really does want to do it, she'll get in touch. But it doesn't sound like she's really up for it.

    I know it's unfair if someone dumps you and doesn't really bother to explain why and just leaves you with this huge question mark on your face. It's been done to me as well, and generally the dumper just wants his/her peace and the more you pester them the less likely you are to actually receive a reply.

    If I were you, I'd wait a few days, maybe a week, and if she hasn't gotten back to you then, then send another text message, or perhaps even call her.

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    • Really another week? I've definitely given her space. I did not contact her at all this week. I don't get how she can act so distant when just a week ago we were happily together. All I want is to talk for an hour, then she never has to hear from me again.

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    • Ok good point. I just don't want her to ignore me and then we never have that talk.

    • There's not much you can do. I've pretty much pestered my ex and he now ignores me. So it's best to just wait for her to approach you. If it doesn't happen within a reasonable time (like I say, few days, maybe a week) then it's OK to message her again. Don't do it today or tomorrow though.

What Girls Said 5

  • I was in this situation a few months ago. A guy I was spending a lot of time with just up and disappeared on me. Wouldn't respond to calls, texts, or emails. I kept thinking that if I just stuck to it long enough he'd come around. I was mistaken. The fact is, he's not the guy I thought he was. We develop a certain belief about those we date. We think we know them. We believe in them. But it takes a great deal of time to REALLY get to know somebody. Years of time. This guy, I had known him for a year & half. We met as classmates in school but didn't really start spending time together until 9 months later. And the person he showed me was a work of fiction. He put on an act for me the whole time and it took me months after the breakup to see that.

    So when it comes to breakups, we can ask for explanations & closure. But if the other person isn't strong enough to provide us with that, then we have to hold onto to our self respect and find closure on our own.

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  • Don't text her, this will give her an opportunity to complain about you, assume your some what clingy and can't let go, or just think it's annoying and get pissed. She's well aware that you want to talk but she isn't making any attempts...You're not going to get answers any time soon. I'm sorry but this shows that she doesn't want to face you if she keeps delaying the conversation that you need. She probably just wants to forget about the whole situation and move on, but wait for a while then text her, letting her know that this needs to happen and then you'll stop bugging her.

    I'm so sorry :( and I'm sorry if my advice wasn't helpful.

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  • No you're not asking for much and you deserve a good explanation, face to face. But it seems like she doesn't want that. I don't think you'll get your conversation any time soon. She doesn't want to be friends.

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  • Well, I think ex-girlfriends want to move on with their lives. Some people don't want to maintain a friendship afterward. Time to let it go.

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    • I'm not even trying to be friends. I want to talk to her, one time, for an hour. I don't care if she ever talks to me again after that.

    • Shrug, I guess she doesn't want to.

  • yea I think about it all the time, if he texted me I would text back(and be really happy about it) but I am trying to hold back from texting him (I broke it off with him)

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What Guys Said 2

  • Don't text her anymore. If this is the way she's acting, the pattern will keep going and she'll keep eluding you. Which will only frustrate you further.

    Instead of asking why she broke up with you, charge it to the game. She just wasn't the right girl for you.

    I hung out with a girl once as 'friends' for 8 months. All of a sudden, she stopped seeing me. And she didn't tell me why. Low and behold, I figured out that she really did like me as more than a friend even though she said she wasn't really sure of what she wanted.

    If you ever want the truth out of a girl, the only way to get it is to be fully trustworthy of each other and comfortable. Girls lack more confidence than guys usually do.

    My suggestion, as hard as it is right now, is to delete her number. Gain confidence in yourself, have fun with your life, and start talking to new girls. You do NOT need to feed her any more attention because it's most likely useless anyway. Give your attention to a girl who would reciprocate it.

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  • I've dated women who are sore losers who don't want anymore contact with me.

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