Should I just leave now and save myself?

In the beginning he thought we could just hook up and so he texted me a lot. After I told him I'm not about just being sex buddies he was disappointed but still came out to my school to hang out w me that Friday, he was on his phone a lot of the time then he left early to go back to his school to go to a party. When he left he said he probably wouldn't see me till after break. I felt really sh*tty after we hung out, like used or something, idk. He didn't text me for like 12 days, then texted me and was like "whatsup how was your break" and I got mad and said "you didn't text me for two weeks and you texted the whole time we hung out" he apologized and I was still kinda mad at him. Then I went to his school that Friday to go to a party and I was excited to see him, but he thought I hated him so things were awk. Then I texted him that night saying I would have hooked up w him that night because I thought he wouldn't want to talk to me if I didn't say that. Then he said he couldn't make to hang out Saturday but he'd come to my school during the week. He didn't text me all week, and I just found out from a mutual friend that his phone had been broken all last and that was why he couldn't text me, and I think he lost all his contacts. Should I text him or does this "relationship" just seem toxic?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you should take some time off, not because of the relationship but for your own self.

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What Guys Said 6

  • "In the beginning he thought we could just hook up and so he texted me a lot."

    Obviously you did something that gave him that impression, or at least didn't make it clear from Day one that this was not going to happen. It's up to YOU to set rules and standards, because a horny guy isn't ever going to.

    Guys your age are in the middle of their sexual peak years. Sex is among the top things on their mind, if not #1. And a lot of guys aren't interested in a relationship, they just want to get laid. You need to realize all of this and expect it, and if you aren't interested in being FWB/booty calls for guys, then you need to make that clear from Day 1, and your actions need to back that up.

    Does that mean that a lot of guys, including guys you think are attractive and "really really want", are going to lose interest and move on? YES! And you have to be okay with that. It's nearly impossible to get these kinds of guys to change their mind and give you a real relationship, so you have to be okay with them losing interest in you (interest that was almost exclusively sexual), and instead, hold out for the guys who are willing (and hopefully eager) to be in a real relationship with you.

    It sounds to me like your enthusiasm to be in a relationship with this guy in the beginning caused you to give him the wrong impression, and when you finally corrected that, he lost interest. He might have even been mad, feeling like you had played him by giving him the wrong idea up-front. Either way, he clearly is only after you for sex, and since you aren't okay with that, you need to dump him and move on.

    You definitely aren't in a "relationship" with this guy. He thinks of you as a sex buddy, nothing more.

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  • Just leave. run, RUN! F***it! Leave EVERYTHING BEHIND! EVERYTHING YOU WORKED FOR! change your name, start a new life. Move to Andacolla, Chile (cause no one f***ing lives there cept monkeys). Make love to a monkey, discover new land, and come back 4 years later as a man named Sansumi. Conquer Egypt, become pharaoh. Make all your people specialize in chemical warfare. Considering it may take ten years, contact this boy through text and tell him to F***Off! Then construct space aircraft for 4, destroy the human race, and settle on the moon, thus revealing your secret as a woman to the 3 others you have rightfully chosen to come with you. Reproduce, then end your life..

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  • To me, this doesn't even sound like a relationship. It sounds like a rollercoaster ride that you shouldn't be a part of. This "relationship" you two seem to have doesn't seem to be working. I suggest you leave this relationship, because it does seem pretty one-sided (you're putting lots of effort into this relationship and getting little out of it) and could cause lots of problems and drama down the road.

    I hope this all works out for you!

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  • Seems like you're not hard to get. And he likes that. that "relationship" isn't a relationship to me at all so my advice is: if you both like that type of guy/girl, just go for him.

    This advice is based on how you seem like. It wouldn't suit me at all.

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    • so you like hard to get

    • Yes. Because not everyone can get there, and I know a girl hard to get is a special girl. Plus, there's no fun if you don't even have to try.

  • He likely just sees it as a FWB situation. If he considered anything more, especially after you told him you wanted more from it, then he would work on making it something more. Not texting you for a long period of time means that either he's just super busy, or not interested on making it into the something more you wanted it to be. Signs point to move on and find someone else who's looking for more, because chances are he doesn't see you as someone he would get serious with.

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  • He is a douche. Move on.

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What Girls Said 1

  • This guy just wants to sleep with you. If he wanted more than that he wouldn't have been disappointed. He's not entitled to text you weekly, especially since he's not your boyfriend.

    Just leave him and devote your energy to someone who actually wants to spend time with you. If you don't want the relationship based on sex, don't have sex too early. Otherwise you're training them to think that's all you want (doesn't matter what you say after that).

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