I be myself, I am always nice but I always end up heart broken

I am so tired of being alone, I think I am a nice person, I always make sure to ask how the guys day is and make plans for things he likes. They always seem interested at the begining, then when it seems to start getting a little like we could start dating they bail. Then like a month later they are dating someone else. That honestly breaks my heart. I don't know what I do that makes it that guys don't like me. I am so tired of being the nice girl, I always end up broken..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I know it sucks , has happened to me plenty of times.

    The advise I can give to you is "DON"T TRUST YOUR FEELINGS"

    Those are our weakness, sadly it's the truth.according to an article,

    We logically understand that we won't be killed if a woman/man rejects us, but our brain doesn't seem to realize that yet. Instead the average guy/girl becomes filled with fear and tension and panic... perhaps something most women/men don't really appreciate.

    Our dating confidence and success comes from handling our inner battles - fear and panic vs logic and rational thought.

    It's easy for me to say "ignore your feelings" and yet they blur our vision and clamp our mouths shut. And hopefully you can become aware of the inner tricks being played out by your nervous system - your feelings can't be trusted.

    Think of your emotions like the weather. It just happens and that's life. There's not always some deeper reason for it and it's futile to try to fight it

    so be LOGICAL not EMOTIONAL ^_^

    good luck :)

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    • feelings are there to give us information. you feel things before you think. there's no such thing as thinking without feeling, or emotion.

      Anyways what if you feel positive about something. it doesn't really work to say dint trust your feelings. the desire to not trust your feelings is a feeling. the fact the article made sense to you was initially a feeling. you're going with your feeling that this guy is correct. he only gave a set number of feelings to say you should not trust all feeling.

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    • themselves away from their intuition. when you feel like someone doesn't like u, that's not good or bad until you intellectually attach a moral quality to it. thinking about how horrible things are is not the same thing as being aware its not going to work.

      let the feelings register. look into what the purpose of them is. think it through. then judge calmly. trust your feelings just don't exploit them, imo.

    • No sis, I'm not telling that ,be feeling less freak every time (they're sub conscious response and necessary)... but it's our brain.. when someone we like being nice to us , we are attached to him/her emotionally and eventually we overly attach ourself with them.. that's when things started to going bad.. :)

What Guys Said 3

  • If my guess is right, the problem is that you're a NICE person. You're being TOO nice, to the point that it's obvious that you are insecure, and so you're trying to over-compensate by being SO nice that you'll do just about anything to make the guy happy. You always agree with him, even when you really don't, etc. You are spineless; a doormat. And that's NOT attractive.

    What you WANT to be is the GOOD person, and that's what you THINK you're being when you're being the NICE person, but you aren't. A GOOD person will have an attractive, positive personality, but they will still be quick to disagree with you if you are "wrong" in their eyes, and they'll strongly stand up for themselves and what they want. And that confidence makes them extremely attractive and desirable.

    Being overly nice is not a sign of confidence, but the opposite: a sign of desperation, and nothing is less attractive then desperation. All the "nice guys" who can never get girls have exactly the same problem: they are desperate, and while they *think* they're being the GOOD guy, they are actually being the NICE guy, and they'll never get anywhere with girls. I'm sure you've had "nice guys" approach you, or seen it happen with other girls, and you can instantly pick up on their desperation, and it feels icky. That's what (I think) is likely happening to you with these guys.

    Decide to have some confidence, and start standing up for yourself. Set some expectations, make them clear to the guy, and stand behind them. If the guy doesn't live up to them, implement the penalty you told him he would suffer as a result. Make him RESPECT you, and he'll be a lot more attracted to you, and a lot more attentive to you as well.

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    • I agree with you 100%, I have such low self-esteem because I have been lied to by any guy I have loved/cared for, and I guess I am tired of being alone so I hold onto a guy that even at the begining showed signs that I didn't like. But I didn't want him leaving so I would, like you said do anything, agree with everything and have no back bone. I don't know how I can build up my self confidience, since any opertunity I have to build it up, it get shot down again

    • First, you need to figure out what items are important to you in a man, and what things YOU want in a relationship. Work on that list, get rid of anything that isn't absolutely vital, and once you have that list of must-haves, ruthlessly eliminate guys who don't meet it, no matter how cute or attractive they are to you. Stand behind that list, and don't change it for a specific guy.

      Learn to say "no." That's how you get your power and confidence back.

  • No it is not your fault you are dating dipsh*ts.I can guarantee it.Men are stupid when ti comes to relationships.It isn't you it is them.I mean I have been put through the ringer.I have been in love and had my heart broken I was told that a women loved me but she didn't want to leave her boyfriend.It happens sometimes don't change how you are stay true to you.Someone will find you and make you see the beauty that you bring.Just be patient date but be patient there is a man somewhere out there that will just make you feel like you are flying.

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  • Sorry this is happening to you.

    People suck.

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What Girls Said 2

  • takes time to meet someone you like/ resect/ are attracted to, who likewise likes respects/ is attracted to u.

    irs not a fault, it just hasn't happened yet. you're young.

    alot of people in relationships are not with people who are kind towards them. being with someone doesn't necessarily mean you found a good person.

    so just hang in there. find other passions. and let things happen as part of your life. not as a contradiction to it

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  • You're being too nice and trying too hard. Make him earn that kind of affection.

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    • yup , agreed...in today's world ,we don't appreciate what we have..!

    • We also don't appreciate things that come too easily. We question how great or rare it really is if we don't have to work for it. Like if a guy were to say "I love you" too soon, or act way too obessed with us right off the bat. We begin to wonder if he does that with everyone, and if maybe he's not as high quality as we think. Hold back some in the beginning with these new guys.

    • yup.. being too available not gonna work.Tension is a feeling... you know that feeling you have when you don't know if he/she likes you? Don't try to rid yourself of that tension by TALKING it out with him/her. Instead USE that tension to build his/her attraction... by teasing , flirting, being playful and having FUN!

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