Dating with a three year old? Not sure how to make the transition easier for all of us.

I have a three year old daughter from a previous marriage, and my boyfriend is having a hard time since he moved in, since he is used to having more privacy than he now has. I'm just not sure how to make the transition easier for all of us, the stress has been harming our relationship. We hardly ever have sex anymore because he's worried she'll walk in on us or need something, he's been grumpy because he is getting less sleep, etc. I think our relationship is strong enough to tough it out, but I was just looking for some advice on how to make things a bit easier for him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think there is an easy way around this. Your Boyfriend is experiences the very thing that causes me to avoid girls with children (at my young age).

    I would like to have at least a few years of just the two of us before I have to worry about things like, is my kid going to barge in on us or start crying right in the middle of sex.

    The only solution I can think of would be to arrange more opportunities where your parents or a good friend baby sits her so that you and your Boyfriend can have some alone time. Even as much as a few nights a week. I have a friend who is 32 and has a 4 year old from a previous relationship. She still manages to come out to the bars with us all the time. She's is a great mom, she just has her parents (whom she lives with) watch her daughter while she goes out and socializes. When she's home, she spends all her time with her daughter. Sometimes she drop her off at friends houses who also have kids around her age so they can play together.

    Doing this like this benefit both you and your daughter. She gets play time and or quality time with her grandparents, and you get to spend some quality time with your BF.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Lock the door and have sex sometimes.

    There's no magic answer on the sleep issue.

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    • Cant really leave a 3 year old alone.

    • Really? Everyone sleeps with their 3 year old in bed with them?

      He's 'worried the kid will walk in' which suggests there are opportunities, but he's afraid of interruption. lock the door, if the kid knocks, you separate, and go to them.

      How do you think people have more then one child?

  • Tell him to grow up. Worried about a 3yo walking in? Why? If you don't make a big deal of it she'll never know anything's going on.

    Can't help with the sleep though. Sleep when she's out of high school, lol!

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  • ignore the idiots above me

    you both knew it would be a strain on your relationship - this is just part of the process

    in order to make the transition easier I think it would be prudent to openly discuss these difficulties; vent the frustration and come to a consensus.

    best of luck ammawa =)

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  • Simple! Put some headphones on your baby.

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  • Tell him that people make it work all the time. Its something all our parents had to deal with at some point in there lives. And they found a way.

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    • They probably found a way with their *own* kids though, didn't go from living alone to moved in with a 3 year old.

    • I guess you have a point there. But many of the challenges of parent hood are still the same regardless of wether its your kid or not. And wether they appeared suddenly or over time.

What Girls Said 4

  • I've gone by this several times and every time I think it says, "Dating a three year old?"

    I know you're not a pedophile, but it won't go away.

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  • honestly, all of this is is something you should have talked about before, I honestly think it was a mistake him moving in becuase he doesn't seem ready to have a child in his life. If you want to get around this you need to discuss your issues, go and talk to a counsellor if you have to, otherwise I don't dont see this working.

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  • when I first read the question I thought it said "dating a 3 year old" :') LOL

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  • Your daughter is your world,don't let anyone get all grumpy around her,she deserves the best and you are the one who should make sure she gets nothing but the best...

    Dedicate your life to her,ull never regret it,children are all that is beautiful in life,her innocence and giggles will fullfill your life in a way no boyfriend can ever...

    If he doesn't love her he doesn't deserve to be in both your lives...

    Guys will always come and go for s*x,but your daughter is the one who will always be there watching you as you go on through life and looking up to u...

    So be the best romodol for her,don't let her watch you get hurt,and most importantly DON'T let ANYONE/anything hurt her! She's a gift,appreciate what you got...

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    • Raising children is bitter sweet, But "you'll never regret it" pertaining to loosing your life to take care of another is false. Not to ever discuss the Outright assumptions you are making about the guy. who is loosing sleep for the little girl denying sex for the little girl.To say f*** your feelings and the feeling of people you care about is immature and naive.

    • I just see that 90% of children who are raised by a step dad (specially if girls) end up being child molested without the mother having any idea..

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