His phone goes off indicating he had a text message, it's about 12:15 a.m.

So my boyfriend and I are in bed sleeping and his phone goes off indicating he had a text message, it's about 12:15 a.m. He looks at the phone and the message says hi. I'm like ummm, who is that? He's like idk, they text before and when I called back it was an Indian guy. I didn't say anything but the longer I lay in bed the more I began to think. I'm like okay, you stayed away from me intimately for 3 weeks, you were distant, not really talking, now you start to come back around like everything is okay then your phone is going off in the middle of the night. I asked him if he could promise me that he didn't know who it was and he got pissed. He was getting loud and I'm like why are you yelling? I just asked a simple question. If my phone goes off, he's asking who it is and what do they want. I told him I only did what he would so why are you angry? My phone vibrates all night long because I receive emails and he said it could be a guy emailing me, I'm like are you kidding me!? He knows my lock code and can clearly see who it is if he so chose to. When I tried to show him my phone he slapped it out of my hand. He called me an a**hole, when I called him one back he says shut the f*** up! I'm like wow, really! He gets up and leaves. My thing is, I have reason to think something is or was going on. His behavior changed to drastically. Whenever he has a question he wants an answer but if I ask, he gets pissed like I'm wrong or something. I'm tired of the disrespect, normally I would've stopped him from leaving but I'm like wth, go if that's what you want! It's ridiculous... any suggestions?

Updates:
Let me add that he told me to call the number back and I chose not to. I didn't want to go through all of that, I just wanted him to promise me that he didn't know who it was and would have left it alone.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow this escalated way more than it needed to. If your boyfriend feels he has a right to ask who is calling you, I don't see what the problem is the other way around. It is called hypocrisy. Your boyfriend probably got so defensive because he didn't expect this from you and he is hiding something. I mean why else would someone blow something like this completely out of proportion?

    When everything calms down...speak to him about this. You both have a lot of talking to do.

    There is obviously a lot of distrust and insecurity issues that need to be sorted out before this relationship can improve.

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    • Ohh he's very much so a hypocrite. He feels like he can do things but Igbo turn around and do those same things, it's a problem. Maybe didn't expect for his phone to go off, whatever the case is, I smell some bull going on...

    • So do I. There really was no reason to get that defensive unless something is going on.

What Guys Said 4

  • Carry on with how your dealing with it, because your right, he has double standards, and his behavior suggests he is hiding something, because if he had nothing to hide, why would it upset him so much, so your answer is that you got to close to the truth so he got your attention away from the issue by blowing his top, now you won't be able to bring this up again because its old news and he will blame you for not trusting him and blow his top again, so really, you should suspect something is wrong, never accept a guy who has problems with sharing everything with you, because the only reason a guy would hide something is because he knows he is doing wrong where his relationship with you stands, so conclude your relationship has signs of damage,x

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    • U deserve a BA!

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    • BUT why didn't you call the number? You started the issue and he gave you a way to solve it. So why didn't you? What did you cause a problem for? You refused to take his word for it in the beginning, but in the end it was okay?

    • No it wasn't okay all. Why call a number and try and talk to someone, been there done that and I got hung up on. So I figured why not try and talk to him about it? All I wanted was for him to promise me! That's it, I didn't cuss him out yell or anything, I was very calm. He was angry before he told me to call.

  • I don't like anyone rummaging in my phone, not even my wife. I have nothing to hide. If she want to see I show her. I don't touch her ??phone. It's a matter of trust. If there is no trust, then it is a bad relationship.�

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    • I didn't touch his phone, I simply asked who it was and it went on from there.

  • wow looks like you have a happy relationship...he's a real keeper.

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  • Sounds like you both were tired and got mad at each other and things quickly went downhill from there. Lighten up a little and have a "talk" about this bad behavior(of both of you). Sometime words don't come out of the mouth the way one wants them to. :)

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What Girls Said 5

  • Girl to be honest your gonna really annoy future bfs if you do that it's not the fact he's hiding something its the fact that he's laying with you not another girl and your still being insecure about if he's with someone els. He's with you right? Make the best of it and until you see with your own eyes him with another girl. Not texting but doing something physical that's when you have the right to trip. But right now you really need to calm down.

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    • Ummm thanks but no thanks for you response. Just because he's laying with me doesn't mean he isn't doing something. What planet are you from? Make the best of it, I have serious reasons other than what I stated as to why I feel like I do. And are you kidding me, texting is a big issue if it's midnight and someone saying "Hi". If you don't think so that's your right but you need to get real here. If you read my entire post, I wasn't the one who was hyper, he was. READ IT AGAIN^^^^

    • You are honestly in denial.If you have serious reasons to be worried why the hell are you in this relationship to begin with?You obviously don't trust him and yeah he's trying to put his best foot forward and your chasing him away.Smart move.Let's see how many guys will put up with your insecurities.If you keep nagging him I wouldn't be surprised if he's cheating on you. Your obviously not making him happy if he blow up on you because I'm sure it wasn't the first time you got jealous he's tired of it

    • Thanks for your opinion...

  • It sounds like what you are thinking is true. 1. he gets worried that guys are trying to talk to you. it means that he has something to hide because girls are probably talking to him. 2. he gets angry when you ask about another girl. why get angry if there's nothing to be worried about? 3. he was distant for a while but now acts like nothing happened. he was probably occupied with another girl at the time.

    I'd say stop talking to him and make sure to have another guy sweeping you off your feet. You don't need his bullsh!t.

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    • What gets me is that he would've behaved the same freakin way. I think anybody would have wanted to know who was texting their mate! All I asked was for him to promise me he didn't know who it was, and he got pissed. Like you said, if there's nothing to hide why are you getting pissed?

  • I think the way you told the story implies that he has something to hide. The fact that he did tell you to call the number and you refused to says a lot. You pushed and pushed the issue until he blew up (which I ADMIT he should NOT have done, from the way you tell the story) and then you backed off after you got the reaction you wanted. You wanted reassurance, but not about the person on the phone. You wanted reassurance about his feelings, kind of the way a child acts out to get attention from the parent.

    If you can't TALK to your boyfriend like an adult and he can't do the same with you, not to mention respect one another (BOTH OF YOU), why are you in a mock relationship?

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    • It does say a lot but I've been there and done that with another female and she hung up on me, so I figured why waste my time. I wanted to talk the horse himself and that's what I did.

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    • And YOU *helped* blow it out of proportion. You never did tell me what you were looking for. When he finally let you call the number, all of a sudden his word was good enough WHEN IT HADN'T been. Why?

    • I know I just asked you a question, but you can disregard it. I blocked you. I have no desire to deal with someone of your caliber, and I'm certain you feel the same way about me. Have a lovely night! (and that was NOT sarcastic - I wish you the best alone in your apartment/house/bed tonight).

  • Screw that. He yelled at you and slapped the phone out of your hand. Slapping the phone away was unnecessary and probably one step away from physical abuse. I honestly do think the message is a little bit suspicious, and you where in your right to ask about it. The fact that he got mad about it really only increases suspicion. Why would you get made about someone asking about that type of thing if you hadn't done anything wrong?

    It's a big choice to make, but I'd be moving on from him if I was you. Best of luck, I hope things work out for your sake.

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  • I think your boyfriend needs to take a chill pill. It's totally inappropriate that he slapped your phone out of your hand. I think you have the right to ask him who's calling him so late, especially if he does the same when your phone goes off. But also, never jump to conclusions. That can easily tick a guy off. But I still don't think you deserve that. Try talking to him seriously and privately. Ask him why he's been distancing himself lately, etc. and just listen.

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    • I have to be honest and say that I don't wanna talk, not right now.He is very disrespectful with his mouth. I know that being accused of something when your doing nothing can be annoying but all the signs were there. We have women's intuition for a reason, and I felt something in my gut. It burns me up when he can do and say things it's okay, but if I do the same it's a problem. If that were my phone he would've blown a gasket!

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