I started with datemyschool but wasn't really clicking with anyone... and then I recently joined okcupid which is fun and I feel like I'm meeting some great guys but the sheer masses of guys in chicago trying to message me is really overwhelming, I wish there was a way to set it where guys can't message me unless I message them first :P any success stories (or just amusing fails) that you want to share?
Most Helpful Guy
Online dating is great for women, it sucks for men. Also I used it quite extensively for about a year (match and okcupid).
First of all, there is about one girl for every 4 men on dating websites. This really doesn't require much explanation as its common sense. Girls don't have to try as hard as men to get dates. They generally can just go about their day at if she is at least mildly attractive, odds are there is at least one guy at any given point in time who is interested & pursuing her. Men on the other hand take a more active roll, so its common for us to use dating sites. It's like another pasture for us to go hunting in. Because of this same idea, the girls who tend to be found on online dating sites are usually not very attractive (not saying you're not). Again, good looking girls don't need to resort to online dating to get dates.
Let's do some math using what I've just stated above. For the sake of argument let's say our dating site has 40 guys and 10 girls (4/1 ratio). Out of those 10 girls, let's say 2 of them are very attractive (about 10-30% of women on online dating sites are 7+ on looks). That means that for each one of those 2 girls is getting 20 messages. This explain why you, as well as many other attractive women, report similar experiences. I know a women in my office who was 28 and pretty attractive was getting about 100 messages a week. So for a girl, this is all positive, for men, it means your just one fish among many.
One other positives of online dating is also its negative. There is such a large selection of people to choose from, it can be overwhelming. It can also cause you to be more shallow than you otherwise would be in a real world situation. When dating become like window shopping and we're presented with a long list of search filters, of course we're going to build our perfect mate. This also causes us to focus on things that really don't matter. You might pass someone up that had you met them in real life would have liked them. Maybe you put in minimum 5'10 but there was a perfect guy who was 5'9. Maybe he has brown eyes but you said you wanted blue. These guys you are passing up might have been perfect for you and had you met them more naturally would have realized that and overlooked these superficial things. Plus when dating turns into window shopping, your going to be tempted to pick the best one of the bunch. Again, going back to my statistics above. Everyone gravitates to the same few people who are the most attractive, simply because we can. They are made available. In real life, you can't always ask out the most attractive person in town, because you simply have never run across them. Online dating strips you of these real world boundaries.
In a nutshell, Online dating has its place but I would never rely on it (as a guy). For girls its much better. Just be careful. There are quite a few, if not most users, who are perves, just looking for desperate girls they can lay then kick to the curb.5