Would this be a deal breaker or would you give her a second chance?

Situation:

You are dating but not official with a girl you met online. You are still maintaining an active profile on the site, she has deleted hers. You speak every day and are into her.

Then you find out she created a fake profile to talk to you and figure out your intention with other girls online. The girl hasn't been in a relationship in a long time and is just insecure.

If she pleaded her case to you and promised not to do it again, would you take her back or would you brush her off and never speak to her again?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, she's not my girlfriend, and not official, but regardless, it would tick me off. See, as far as I'm concerned, it's a warning of things to come. If she's that insecure that she needs to screw around and play mind games on me even before we're official, how am I to know she's not going to pull more stupid, immature and insecure crap like that again? Sure, she could apologize, and she could plead her case, but frankly at the end of the day, it's just words. People can promise the moon, but they can't really deliver. So, no, sorry, but the trust is gone.

    I've been through way too many crazy, immature, bullshit, insecure, mindfucking and jealous relationships in the past, and what I have learned from them is that they almost always get worse. This is indeed a deal breaker. It's not worth the headache. Not worth knowing that she can't trust me. Not worth knowing I can't trust her. It's not worth looking over my shoulder. Not worth having to prove myself to her emotional baggage and tangled ball of neuroses. Not worth having to second guess what's going to be part of her stupid and immature games.

    So yes. Yes, this is definitely a deal breaker.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Not my girlfriend so I wouldn't find it a big deal. Though if crazy insecure sh*t constantly continues to happen I'll probably leave.

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  • Alright - so, you deleted your profile from there 'coz you wanted it to be official, or at least more serious?

    Did you make it clear, by telling: "I want us to be official so I don't need a profile there anymore thus I delete it"?

    Or you didn't... ?

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    • Didn't say anything about deleting my profile. He was saying things like that he thought I was great for him, all that kinda stuff that made it sound more serious so I didn't feel the need to say anything

    • Well, maybe you should - to ensure there won't be any kind of misunderstandings - like this one your question is about.

      I'll tell you what you want to know - yes, he's chatting-up with girls via that dating site, that's why he got (I presume an active) profile there in the first place.

      So, what about you - the thing you both got? He's not aware YOU want it more serious.

      Why? 'Coz you didn't tell.

  • Sounds like something I would do lol...

    I would not brush her off if she "pleaded her case," but she would have to prove herself worthy for me to take her back...

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  • Think about it this way. Would you trust someone, who, so early on, would lie on you and spy on you to make sure you were honest?

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    • What if the girl had been through some really bad relationships and needs to learn to trust people again?

    • Show All
    • He would have to earn some trust back but I would work with it.

    • pfft. Lies.

What Girls Said 1

  • How did he find this out? What did the girl find out from this?

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    • He put two and two together and thought it was suspicious that she was asking about the girls he has met and if he found anyone special etc.

      The girl found out that he likes to get to know someone before he really decides to keep them around, that he's just talking to people on there, and he's looking to see if he can find the right girl for him.

    • I think for some it would be a deal breaker and for others it wouldn't. I know I am not much of a help but I think you should try.

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