Loads of interaction but no action?

So there's a guy I really like, and we've been writing to each other like a couple of crazy teenagers for exactly a month today. The thing is that despite our interaction we've only met up four times (only one of those being a date, the rest being random meet-ups). He just invited me out for a second date, but without mentioning when/where since he claims to have a very crazy schedule. The invite is just hanging overhead. We haven't kissed or held hands beyond the very basic greetings.

Usually a guy who's interested would have at least made a pass at me. Not sure what's going on here -- or if all the correspondence is supposed to represent something by way of his (romantic) interest, in which case I'm just not picking up on his interest and wonder what's taking him so long to get around to at least the first kiss...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Placemarker.

    "I've got a girl on the line. I can reel her in anytime."

    -or-

    Maybe he has a secret 2nd life with a wife and kids or something.

    Take the initiative and tell him you think he's full of hot air, that he needs to stop playing Brett Favre with his weiner pics and show you the real thing.

    Just teasing. But after a month, you can and should be pushy with the guy. He'd respect you for it. I'm not saying he doesn't or any the above is what's going on. But you have my permission to tell him to fish or cut bait.

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What Guys Said 3

  • This is a guy that has too many irons in the fire but also wants to reserve a romantic iron as well. In order to be a candidate, many women won't wait around and thus this trial run doesn't get a chance.

    You are view this as an ego hit - he doesn't measure up

    or you can see it as a competitive advantage.

    Doesn't measure up? The reverse type of guy rides the sofa all day, no job.

    Competitive advantage? Maybe his life will settle down in future to include more of you ... or rest of lie will always be this way?

    Just because your timeclock is eager, ticking wildly - or has been trained by guys that move faster (but do not hang long) doesn't mean his timeclock runs like that. Again, having so many irons hogging so much of his timeclock, makes him slower paced attending to each one.

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    • I just feel like no one here runs on that slower clock -- the one I'd normally appreciate since the jackrabbit approach doesn't appeal to me -- but there's something odd about it. A friend this afternoon says he tags me daily to let me know I'm in his thoughts, but then wouldn't you set a day or tell a girl when you're coming home so you can see each other rather than putting a random invite into the great wide open?

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    • The Sags I know are completely unaware & of no care they are creating chaos, thus no real testing of others on their part - other stay or leave, lateda, lateda, que sera sera. My Sag son would dawdle each morning until he made both he/sister late for swim team. Since she was the driver, she had to swim teh extra laps foe being tardy. lateda, lateda - no testing here, just being "me" ugh

    • Lol.

  • He's most likely in his mid 30s to early 40s and has figured a few things out about women, hence the reason you're on here asking about him and not the other way around

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  • Maybe you haven't given him any clear sign you want him to make a move. He's probably wondering why you haven't shown him any nterest. I know I get myself into these 'almost' relationships all the time...things just sort of drift for a while.

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    • I figure it's pretty clear. He actually just stopped writing to me a couple of days ago. No clue as to why. I sent a follow-up message, but anything more and I'll look like I'm chasing him. I know guys will say "No you won't!" but a person who was strictly a friend and co-worker recently started telling people that I was crushing on him simply because I asked him if he was free for lunch. Guys have their own agenda & don't really have to be with you to make people think there's something going on.

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