So what's the deal, do I have issues?

So I'm a fairly popular guy. When I walk into a room, I make a strong positive impression on everybody. I dress with style, have an amazing sense of humor (according to a bunch of people, it's one of my strongest qualities), and I'm a very intelligent person in comparison to most my peers. I'm confident but I'm not a show off. I'm kind, laid back, and have been told my demeanor makes me "very approachable". Looks wise I'm no model, but I've been told I'm not ugly/average, and I know I'm not repulsive or anything.

Yet, I've never had a girlfriend, never been on a date (or at least, gone out on what I thought was a date), hell I've never even been kissed. Thing is, it's not like my life has been filled with one rejection after another or anything like that. I've had women interest in me that I just didn't feel the same about, I've asked out women who genuinely were already in a relationship, and a couple times I spent a long time hung up on 2 women that weren't interested. It's getting to the point thought where I feel like this can't just be bad luck, and maybe there's something deeper going on?

I managed to tell one friend I was very close to and she outright didn't believe me/pulling a prank on her when I told her. I admitted I was just joking cause I honestly felt kind of embarrassed.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Imo, you simply need to approach more girls. You remind me of a college buddy of mine that said himself that he "aims to have a 100% success rate with girls".

    Simply put, he didn't get as many dates as he wanted.

    Why?

    Because he was playing it too "safe". He would only approach girls that he knew was a sure thing, such as friends of friends that he's known for many months or YEARS before making a move.

    -----

    Funny as it sounds, you not being rejected ENOUGH is probably the problem. Sounds crazy, but let me explain why. You simply aren't approaching enough women. In fact, from reading this, you seem like the type that likes the girl to come up to you. This, although you seem like an attractive dude demeanor-wise and physically, is VERY LOW ODDS to find a girl that you click with if you are letting the girls approach you, instead of the other way around.

    No joke...I know a guy in college that got plenty of dates, it seemed like if he wanted to go out ANYWHERE, he'd find a girl to say yes. BUT...he got rejected. Alot.

    He said he approaches about 3-4 girls a DAY if he wanted a date for whatever reason.

    -----

    So get out there, risk rejection, and go find that girl that is your match! :)

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What Girls Said 9

  • You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

    Looks or single compatible girls and just stay on the radar.

    Finding a well rounded girl isn't generally likely to happen in a bar. You don't sound like you're the type to approach in a grocery store. Etc so forth. What I recommend is finding social places that you're comfortable in to broaden your opportunities of meeting new people. The higher the number of positive relationships you initiate, the higher the likelihood that you'll fid someone mutually compatible.

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  • It may be because you are a good looking, smart, down to earth guy that it intimidates girls. Like "Oh he wouldn't even notice me" kind of thing. Girls especially if you in high school don't have the best confidence and may thing they are not good enough. Maybe you should try approaching more girls rather than want them to come to you.

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  • maybe its your approach or lack there of. You seem to give me an impression that you wait for women to approach you, have you tried approaching single women that interest you instead? You can't expect to get into a relationship if the only women you are going on dates with are those you aren't interested in or those that are already in relationships. Dating is a numbers game. 90% of people are incomparable from first conversation on. The rest is up to chance.

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    • I do appreciate when I get approached first, but I do approach some. Perhaps not enough. I just seem to be unlucky in always ending up going after women that are taken (usually without even knowing it)

  • Well, with all the friends that are girls you have, do you ever treat them as one of the guys, and not some one you could actually have feelings for? And dating sites aren't too bad.

    -love Sosa

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    • I would say both. Some I just treated as one of the guys, somebody I'd go to the bar with and BS. Some I've been friends with while knowing I wanted to date them (interest wasn't mutual in those cases). Dating sites so far have been pretty unlucky. I've had responses, but none that panned out at all.

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    • (meant no to his comment, not your answer lol)

    • No kid, sign that you need to wait for the right one, stop searching and let her find you type of thing?

      -love Sosa

  • Don't be afraid to make the first move, get to know new people, and experience life.

    It's not always easy, but it is worth it!

    Good Luck!

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  • u will find a real knock out who is single. your just taking a bit longer

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  • you have no problem :)

    you just have to practise flirting little more :)

    just try not to hurt someone's feelings !

    you're fine! have fun! good luck . . . :)

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  • u sound sexy, id hit it.

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    • hahaha wasn't expecting that

  • Maybe you're just not ready for a relationship, people think at a certain age they need to start dating, maybe it's just not your time yet..

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What Guys Said 2

  • You sound normal, but you're not making the most of your opportunities because it sounds like you haven't had enough of them. By my count, you've only made an effort to get with a handful of girls. Most guys get rejected nine times out of ten, because most girls are very picky. You need to see rejection as something impersonal. It is strictly a numbers game. Make a point to ask random girls for their phone number after you flirt with them. Just remember, if it is a girl, you're attracted to her and you talk to her for any reason, she's an opportunity.

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    • I have no problem with rejection, but it seems like all the times that a woman is interested in me, I'm not interested. The few I am interested in end up not interested in me. But I've approached five women this semester, three of which I asked out. Four had boyfriends (which I found were legit when they or I FB friended each other). One dropped the class before I could pull the trigger on asking her out. It seems like that's just the same old story when I'm single with no romantic interests.

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    • But don't whore around. That's not attractive at all. Be confident in yourself. And you shouldn't be embarrassed. Sometimes those things just take time!

    • I'm not sure how hitting on more girls until he finds an attractive and single one that is available is considered whoring around?

  • you don't have issues

    you just haven't had enough oppurtunites like someone else here said.

    that being said, don't feel embarrassed about your feelings for someone that you feel like you have to cover things up, and also don't worry about not having a girl or kissing yet. I'm in the same boat as you.

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