Is it possible for us to get back together?

My now ex boyfriend and I dated for 3weeks, he felt smothered by me and discontinued the relationship. This relationship was via Xbox and live and text, also should mention we are not in the same country, about 2years ago I met him, we've been friends eversince. we'd chat and game together and on the odd ocassion webcam. He truly is an amazing person, I've had a crush on him for 2years with a confession of love from him but he had a lot going on for a relationship, I understood this but my feelings never strayed, however he still did have relationships 3 to be precise, so I did feel in the background a lil. And eventually we just stopped talking and he went off somewhere. I wasn't too shocked but I did miss him. only this year he came back and this time he seemed a lot more talkative, our conversations become more intricate and deep. it was an amazing month, and it re-kindled old feelings, he seemed to grow on me and me on him, infectious I was ha ha but anyways he asked me out and as you could imagine my complete joy I felt, that someone I loved just became mine and I, his. He was so sweet and loving and affectionate, we always kept each other interested, if we had time we could talk the day away, literally for hours and not realize it. everything was going perfect. but by second week seemed to be distant, didn't want to talk or text, I was understanding so reassured him I'd be here if he needed me and let him get on with whatever it was he was doing, needless to say he got more distant and stopped talking and texting altogether, I left it a while 3-4 days and still he wouldn't respond, In any case we get worried right and just want to make sure there OK, I wrote him a message telling him if he's OK, not mentioning why the no response as not to come across needy/ clingy. still no response, I let my mind get the better side of meand continued to message and text him to find out why he was so quiet, for me I indicate it to somewhat my fault and have the need to know whether it is me and is avoiding me on purpose and with no response I get even more worried, I take a step back and leave it 1-2days but by then a whole 1week had passed by and started calling instead of texting, he never picked up so I left voice mail after voice mail. baring in mind he was always online on xbox yet continued to ignore me, so you can imagine how I was feeling, at point of tears. You might think I'm a sap but I loved him and couldn't bare the thought of him leaving. In any case I had my answer he messaged me on xbox saying we should stop, he felt smothered because of all my messages and texts and calls he needed space (I didn't know that despite my efforts to find out). But just nodded my head and apologized, told me not to be sad as I wasn't terrible, he just needed space.He said we could still be friends and I appreciate it but I'm still hurt and anyway he still doesn't talk to me and I'm just a shell without him, I miss him. Is there any chance of us getting back together?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He doesn't have any big feelings for you, let alone all those butterfly-special feelings you have for him. Giving too much importance for this feeble relationship is not worth it. Move on. He's just not interested in you. Perhaps, he might come back to you, when his life sucks or he's dying of boredom. So it's better you never contact him again.

    • I could kind of tell he wasn't that interested in me, and it's not butterfly feelings it's that feeling that makes you smile and helps when things don't go right, just his presence made me feel warm, I noticed changes in myself, I was happy with my life and everyday I could sleep contently, but I guess despite whatever he said, he never did have feelings for me, sounds a bit harsh but he is still an amazing person and I'm not heartless so I wish him all the best..I guess he could do better(:

What Guys Said 3

  • oh girl, after the first sentence I stopped reading, if the extent of your "relationship" is XBOX live and text messages, and you've only met him once, and live in different countries well him needing "space" how much more space can one get really. get outside and get off the XBOX there are plenty of dudes out there.

    • Well that's not true we actually do know each other and have met, but because of distance we could only have a relationship online, we've been good friends for 2years and recently he thought we'd take it further, I think the problem was I wasn't there for him, as in with him, so he only got messages of text so was there anything to work with in the first place? I play games yes but I have a life xD I just seem to attract those who want a mature relationship and I'm not like that, so not much luck

  • any is possible :)

    • Thanks for the encouragement but I don't think he wants to know. he avoids me like the plsgue so I can clarify he just isn't interested. it hurts because I cared a great deal for him and thought we had something but I guess not. Now I move on although I fail to see how anyone will love sorry I'm not very confident in myself. after this break up its been hard to come to terms with myself

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    • Lol your funny, I am not 'fine' ha ha but that is very generous of you to say, and no-one likes me, I don't like to show off myself because well there's nothing to show xD and I doubt someone will be attracted to me, quite weird in ways :$

    • no problem

What Girls Said 2

  • It's possible.. just give him a little space.

    • I don't know if it is possible and I suppose I can only just get on with my life, for now and hope for the best. I'm going to uni anyways so a relationship probably wouldn't be a good choice. Also we broke up on 26th Nov so I think it's more than over haha. But thank you for your input, I appreciate it. c:

      Merry Christmas 2hrs to go! :D

  • I wouldn't have thought so... Really the best you could have done was sent one message and let him miss you... Really all you can do now is disconnect yourself from him. In reality ask yourself this would it have ever worked? You are in different countries you have to be realistic. It sounds like you require closure. Write him a letter telling him what the relationship and friendship meant to you and how his sudden silence hurt you. Agree with him that the breakup was for the best. Trust me on this it will catch him off guard. Spend dome time doing things for you and keep yourself distracted.

    • Hi thanks for your answer, I appreciate your honesty, I see now that it was my fault, I should of left him alone, you know what people say 'absence of love makes the heart grow fonder'. I wrote him a letter but I think he's moved on, therefore still giving me silence, but again thanks and now I'll just get on with my life(: ...well I can try