Is it me or is dating becoming more stressful?

Well before when I used to go on dates I would stress a lot I still do as a matter of fact. My stresses were okay where can I take her which will be a good place, what to talk about, checking my closet to see if there is anything good to wear (by the way needs a major makeover since all my clothes either are way too baggy or don't fit. With a few of them that are pretty nice. Yes I am a chubby guy), will I kiss her good if it ever gets to that (kissed only one girl and it wasn't even a real kiss just a peck, breaking the touch barrier, damn what happens if we have sex (I am a virgin, afraid it would be quick, horrible and still have some body issues).

Right now I am dating this wonderful girl, where all these issues have risen again. The thing now it is even that much more, because I really like this girl and hope it works out. This time I am realizing man I really do have to chose all the places, know what to do and to say so there aren't any silents, paying all the time (even though I am broke), right now I am still trying to find a job and get into graduate school/a med program. Not to mention my bills as well. Then also for me it is trying to keep this budding relationship interesting (we are not boyfriend/girlfriend still just friends at least so I think. We haven't spoken about it, so far it has been about three dates, about to four next week). I have kissed, we haven't had sex which I am afraid of, if and when that boat comes around because I have never had sex, I wouldn't even know what to do. To me having the basic idea and actually putting it into action are two different things.

P.S. I don't even know what the heck I am doing. I am also wondering if she actually likes me vs just likes the fact that I am taking her out and showing her some attention. Right now I am still looking for signs to see if she is worth keeping. Somethings I am still trying to find out are if she is a gold digger or what. One of my biggest things is to see if she would even offer to pay or go dutch on a date. Even give me an idea for a date like how about we go here, or just be like hey I just want to sit and talk we don't really have to anywhere (just wanted to see you). Things like that.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Your life in general is stressful, and this is true for so many people now. Trying to meet traditional dating expectations just isn't realistic in modern life, either, so you're adding stress unnecessarily.

    Lighten up, don't try to be perfect, don't try to choose all the places and accept that there will be silent times..And don't assume you'll have to pay all the time!



    You're right that her offering to pay or go dutch is a real test if she understands modern life or is stuck in her parents' generation.

    Lowering expectations will lower the stress, and the girls will appreciate your being more hang loose about things as well, since most of them don't expect you to be perfect, either. And they don't want you to expect that of them

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