How should I tell my boyfriend I don't appreciate him ditching me all the time?

I care for my boyfriend a lot. We've only been together as a couple for several months, but I feel really comfortable being around him and can be myself. He's a sweet guy, but what I don't like is that a lot of the times that we have something planned (e.g. go out to see a movie, out to eat, or just to hang out at his house), something comes up. Some of the excuses he's given me were he was sick, he had car problems, he had to babysit for his sister's kids, something came up at work, or his phone was acting up so he never got any of my texts. I always listen to his excuse and question him about it to see if it sounds reasonable. All of the times he's done this I've forgiven him because I love him and care about him. However sometimes I feel like I would do more for him than he would for me. And I've even brought that up with him, and he just says it isn't true.

This time though he planned to take me to be with his family on Christmas Eve, and it never happened because he had to work late. So then he promised me the next day, when it was actually Christmas. I got dressed and had presents for him and his family ready to go, but hours passed and I never got a call or text from him. I texted him several times- no response. I called him twice- he didn't pick up. I was so upset I just stayed crying in my room for most of the day. Then I got a message from him on Facebook saying his phone was acting up (which was an excuse he's given me before). I didn't even know what to say. I just feel that every time he and I have plans, something always comes up (even on the holidays). However all the times he has a concert to go to or plans with his friends, they ALWAYS go through. I just don't know what to really think anymore. I don't really want to break up with him, but at the same time I'm tired of being disappointed. Is there anything I can say to him that can make him change his ways? Or will he continue to act the way he does? :(


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just tell him. Tell what's on your mind but don't tell him in a "I blame you for this" kind of way. Tell him you feel upset every time plans get cancelled, because you wanna spend time with him. Tell him "I feel...when..." and don't start with "YOU do this and YOU shouldn't do that".

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What Guys Said 7

  • I can feel your pain. I would say stop planning things with him. If he has too much on his plate. Your feeling neglected won't make it better. For either of you. I would say when you do mak plans you make him insure no matter what comes up your plans stand. or there will be a problem.

    On the friends plans "ALWAYS" happening. Maybe you just know of the few occasions when he actually goes to. Your thinking about it so you notice it more. You know like when you buy a new car. And when your driving around you notice how many other people are driving the same car?

    get your wanting to go out with him. Or spend time with him. But if he can't accommodate then do something with some friends. Or at the very least pop in on him when he doesn't show for you plans. You might not like what you find out. But if you really want to know(which I'm sure you and no one else ever does really) You can go over and "help" him watch his sister's kids. Does he give the excuses AFTER the fact or during. Like if you have a dinner date. Does he call and cancel? Or do you have to find out what happened after?

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  • Yes, he's obviusly not dealing from a full deck with you, maybe involving his family's view o fyour relationship...he's too embarrassed maybe about his family not wanting him to be seeing you, so he just ditches you. He doesn't want to have to explain that he can't stand up to them.

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  • Move on.

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  • You have to tell him that it's not cool with you. That's one of the keys to long-lasting relationship--communication. If you don't tell him, he'll think everything is all fine and good which would lead him to doing it more and more. Just tell him.

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  • Drop him.

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  • Tell him as you've written here.

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  • What a douche he just sh*t on your Christmass for no reason... if his phone was acting up why wouldn't he just drop by... or Facebook you... or use a payphone...

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What Girls Said 2

  • i read only the first part but whatever the problem is TALK TO HIM I swear to you nothing will solve this other than talking and you will feel much much better after it

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  • Dump him. He's got another girl.

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