Is it rude not to respond on online dating sites?

I signed up pretty much before I went home for the holidays, must be about 10 days ago and didn't log in since then.

Now I did log in and I had 35 messages in my inbox last night, 38 this morning. You would think people have better things to do over Christmas but appearently not.

It's just a whole lot to respond to and in some of them I'm really not interested. Would it be rude not to reply to them? I mean even if I did, I'd be leading them on, right?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say its acceptable not to reply. Men massively outnumber women on these sites and most women are inundated with messages. The men won't be that hurt or think badly of you, they are probably used to getting ignored by most the women they message.

    I got less than 38 unsolicited messages in a year lol.

    • I don't know if men outnumber women, I don't get to see the women on that site. But ya I'd feel a bit bad about not responding. Some of the messages had absolutley no substance though. They were just like "hey, what's up" I mean what are you supposed to respond to that?

    • They definitely do. After my unsuccessful use of online dating I attempted a few 'experiments', average looking women get more messages than male models and women with severe physical disabilities get more messages than below average looking men (me lol). I know this seems a bit off topic but it shows you really shouldn't be feeling bad about ignoring them, you will keep getting a high volume of messages from men you aren't necessarily interested in, just reply to the ones you like.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I appreciate the skewed numbers, and that women get a TON of responses, but that's still no excuse for not replying...

    If I was a girl, I don't care if I got 1,000 responses - I would still be courteous and say "thank you" to every single one of those messages...

    If you have any kind of conscious or decency, you'll do the same. Even if you're not interested, a simple "thanks, but no thanks" should be written... just hit "reply all" - only takes a few seconds :)

  • I think they're accustomed to silence anyways, so you wouldn't be doing anything different than the others.


What Girls Said 2

  • No, it's not rude. Men send hundreds of messages a day, so most won't take it too personally. When I tried online dating, I started out letting the guys know (politely) that I wasn't interested so that they didn't feel blown off. Instead, they took it really badly. Almost all of them got mean, except for a mature few. It's not really worth it.

    • Just because you receive hundreds of messages a day does not mean that a single man is sending out hundreds of messages a day...

    • Too bad. They're rude when I answer.

  • Wow! What site are you on? I'd love to get that many messages and no you don't have to respond to everyone ... just the ones you like!