Say for example you switched minds with a different guy or girl that had a more active or successful dating/relationship life than you, but you kept all of your outward appearance, do you feel things would be different?
I think so. I feel that my constant shyness and insecurity flare ups around females that I'm attracted to is holding me back. a lot of times I blame my looks but I know that isn't a good excuse to use.
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- No6% (1)0% (0)3% (1)Vote
Most Helpful Guy
I'd say so, since women have been staring at me recently, including today, a girl fixed her gaze on me for five seconds straight. Surely such a blatant sign, and yet I still didn't approach. What abject, wretched cowardice! *shakes head in disgust* Time to man up. I wouldn't ordinarily approach strangers, but I might give it a try, for curiosity and for something novel... But yeah, I'd say even if you're objectively attractive, that still won't get you very far. Once you feel good, women start to notice you. One thing you might find helpful, is to feel the fear or anxiety for a few seconds, and notice the negative thoughts, don't judge them, and then go and do it anyway. This is subtle but important. Because people often go for the two extremes. ie, they suppress it (pretend it doesn't exist), this usually fails because the easiest way to screw up is to tell yourself you can't screw up. Otherwise they go for the other extreme, which is dwelling on the negative thoughts or unpleasant emotions, and then of course, it consumes them.
And yeah, you might have gathered this technique has a wider application and is a good way of dealing with all emotions.
You'd be surprised how many people feel the same way as you do. See if you can challenge it by making small steps towards becoming social, and keeping up the momentum.1