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If you had a different personality do you think your dating life would be different?

Say for example you switched minds with a different guy or girl that had a more active or successful dating/relationship life than you, but you kept all of your outward appearance, do you feel things would be different?I think so. I feel that my constant shyness and insecurity flare ups around females that I'm attracted to is holding me back. a lot of times I blame my looks but I know that isn't a good excuse to use.

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I'd say so, since women have been staring at me recently, including today, a girl fixed her gaze on me for five seconds straight. Surely such a blatant sign, and yet I still didn't approach. What abject, wretched cowardice! *shakes head in disgust* Time to man up. I wouldn't ordinarily approach strangers, but I might give it a try, for curiosity and for something novel... But yeah, I'd say even if you're objectively attractive, that still won't get you very far. Once you feel good, women start to notice you. One thing you might find helpful, is to feel the fear or anxiety for a few seconds, and notice the negative thoughts, don't judge them, and then go and do it anyway. This is subtle but important. Because people often go for the two extremes. ie, they suppress it (pretend it doesn't exist), this usually fails because the easiest way to screw up is to tell yourself you can't screw up. Otherwise they go for the other extreme, which is dwelling on the negative thoughts or unpleasant emotions, and then of course, it consumes them. And yeah, you might have gathered this technique has a wider application and is a good way of dealing with all emotions. You'd be surprised how many people feel the same way as you do. See if you can challenge it by making small steps towards becoming social, and keeping up the momentum.

What Girls Said 16

  • I think it would be. I'm pretty laidback and introverted. I tend to keep to myself, and I'm not the kind of person who needs to go to parties or drink to have fun. I prefer watching movies, going to a concert, or playing a board game. I'm really simple. And staying home and enjoying simple things like that make it hard to get to know people. I've gotten better at talking to guys I meet at school and in public, but most of them either are in relationships, have kids/are married, or one of us isn't really interested in the other.

  • Probably, others think I can be a little bossy, brash, arrogant, calculated, cold and sharp tongued but excuse me if I feel the need to voice my opinion. Seriously I'll only do it if the person doesn't know what they're talking about or I don't wanna talk to or know the person in any capacity. This maybe b*tchy to most. Those traits get me turned down more often then anything.

  • yeah, my shyness ruins me. i don't think I'm very good looking but I don't think changing my appearance would have a dramatic effect on my dating life. well, kind of , but I doubt it's my main problem. if I knew how to carry a conversation, I wasn't so off putting with my lack of social skills, and I knew how to charm people, I think I would be a whore. ha ha but no. I think that if I was confident and able to talk to people, they would like me. I'm really nice. and people who know me laugh at what I say, even though I don't find it funny so I guess I'm sort of funny. if I was more confident, I'd be able to talk to the guy I like, and he would get to know how awesome I am. I'm working on it but damn it its so difficult! :D

  • Yeah, because I'm a bitch and I'm smarter than most people and I'm too honest. All of which are very off-putting. If I had a kinder personality naturally, I think I would have more success in dating.

  • of course things would change becasue I would not be the same person my boyfriend asked out. and it would most likely hurt my relationship, becasue he loves who I am and som1 different would change his views.

  • Nope. I am extremely ugly. My dating issues have to do with my face and nothing else.

  • yes...changing my personality would change almost everything about my relationship

  • I don't know if I would want to switch minds with anyone; because I do love the woman that I am. But I could use an extra dose of confidence when it comes to approaching guys instead of waiting to be approached.

  • Yes! I think about this all time! I can be incredibly outgoing, loud and I speak my mind. If I could change that though, I wouldn't be the person I am today, so I don't know. Part of me wishes I could change but the other part loves the way I am and it realizes it makes me who I am.

  • if I wasn't as shy I think I would be able to talk to guys more easily

  • Yeah, I can somewhat relate to you in the aspect that I can be a little bit shy, also guarded which makes it even worse for me to open up and the other person to get to know me. I'm working on it though(:

  • yeah. I can be pretty talkative and I'm not a shy person in general, but I am a bit more of an introverted type. I'm not into big scenes like clubbing and partying and I like to build deep emotional connections with people. if I was more of a casual extrovert type I would probably meet guys more easily. I also have pretty high standards, not about looks, but about maturity and personality. I am the type who builds deep connections but doesn't connect with everyone that easily. I get along with most people, but there are fewer people that I feel a deeper connection with, whether it is to become close friends or a relationship.so yeah I think my personality plays a part, but I don't think I am bad-off.

  • Yes. I know girls more attractive than me getting less guys because of their attitude and lack of any brains. They're not fun, they have no personality. Looks only go so far.

  • Personality is basically what defines you. It's who you are. Having a different personality wouldn't just affect my relationships. My whole life would be different.

  • Yep, getting rid of my shyness would get me more date.s

  • I'm female so my personality doesn't matter. The only thing that would change my dating life is body, looks and money.

What Guys Said 8

  • Everything else in my life would be different, not just dating.

  • Yeah. Some guys have no shame and they just go for it no matter what. Failure is nothing to them.That's the attitude I want. But then again......I'd probably have kids by now, be separated from the mother, and have a revolving door in my bedroom, all while losing money paying child support. That's hardly a glamorous life IMO. Sometimes being who you are is a blessing. You just gotta embrace it and work with it.

    • True, that.

  • Most likely. Personality wise, I haven't put any effort or that much interest in the dating scene and rather have focused my energy into other things, so changing my personality with anyone who puts more emphasis on dating life would quite probably change my dating life.

  • oh hell yes. epitome of my life

  • Yeah, I'm pretty much the opposite of what women generally want, personality wise.

  • Of course it would be different. Unless you are extremely hideous (as a guy, at least I think that way), looks are not that important, as the looks only do the first impression, for girls it is more important what they feel when they think about or are with a guy.

  • I think if I had the 'stereotypical jerk' personality I would have less issue attracting females. My appearance stands in the way somewhat because most assume that I'm either taken, homosexual or a complete narcissist before the rest of my being has any chance to interact. I suffer from the thought profile of "I want someone to love me, for me" without wanting to change my outer image because I personally believe it reflects my inner self, that makes me more vulnerable than most, as well as a minority. Certainly a personality swap would change this.

  • Oh no question... yes.I'm an attractive man, but I'm certain that most women dislike me just because I don't nod my head like some dumbass lemming when it comes to fads and I hate mainstream. I tend to be very negative, but truthful. I'm sure if I abandoned my principles and joined the rest of the dinks of society, my dating life would be out of sight (it's actually not bad now though either).

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