If you had a different personality do you think your dating life would be different?

Say for example you switched minds with a different guy or girl that had a more active or successful dating/relationship life than you, but you kept all of your outward appearance, do you feel things would be different?

I think so. I feel that my constant shyness and insecurity flare ups around females that I'm attracted to is holding me back. a lot of times I blame my looks but I know that isn't a good excuse to use.

  • Yes
    94% (16)100% (16)97% (32)Vote
  • No
    6% (1)0% (0)3% (1)Vote
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd say so, since women have been staring at me recently, including today, a girl fixed her gaze on me for five seconds straight. Surely such a blatant sign, and yet I still didn't approach. What abject, wretched cowardice! *shakes head in disgust* Time to man up. I wouldn't ordinarily approach strangers, but I might give it a try, for curiosity and for something novel... But yeah, I'd say even if you're objectively attractive, that still won't get you very far. Once you feel good, women start to notice you. One thing you might find helpful, is to feel the fear or anxiety for a few seconds, and notice the negative thoughts, don't judge them, and then go and do it anyway. This is subtle but important. Because people often go for the two extremes. ie, they suppress it (pretend it doesn't exist), this usually fails because the easiest way to screw up is to tell yourself you can't screw up. Otherwise they go for the other extreme, which is dwelling on the negative thoughts or unpleasant emotions, and then of course, it consumes them.

    And yeah, you might have gathered this technique has a wider application and is a good way of dealing with all emotions.

    You'd be surprised how many people feel the same way as you do. See if you can challenge it by making small steps towards becoming social, and keeping up the momentum.


What Girls Said 16

  • yeah, my shyness ruins me.

    i don't think I'm very good looking but I don't think changing my appearance would have a dramatic effect on my dating life. well, kind of , but I doubt it's my main problem.

    if I knew how to carry a conversation, I wasn't so off putting with my lack of social skills, and I knew how to charm people, I think I would be a whore. ha ha

    but no. I think that if I was confident and able to talk to people, they would like me. I'm really nice. and people who know me laugh at what I say, even though I don't find it funny so I guess I'm sort of funny. if I was more confident, I'd be able to talk to the guy I like, and he would get to know how awesome I am. I'm working on it but damn it its so difficult! :D

  • Probably, others think I can be a little bossy, brash, arrogant, calculated, cold and sharp tongued but excuse me if I feel the need to voice my opinion. Seriously I'll only do it if the person doesn't know what they're talking about or I don't wanna talk to or know the person in any capacity. This maybe b*tchy to most. Those traits get me turned down more often then anything.

  • I think it would be. I'm pretty laidback and introverted. I tend to keep to myself, and I'm not the kind of person who needs to go to parties or drink to have fun. I prefer watching movies, going to a concert, or playing a board game. I'm really simple. And staying home and enjoying simple things like that make it hard to get to know people. I've gotten better at talking to guys I meet at school and in public, but most of them either are in relationships, have kids/are married, or one of us isn't really interested in the other.

  • I don't know if I would want to switch minds with anyone; because I do love the woman that I am. But I could use an extra dose of confidence when it comes to approaching guys instead of waiting to be approached.

  • Yeah, because I'm a bitch and I'm smarter than most people and I'm too honest. All of which are very off-putting. If I had a kinder personality naturally, I think I would have more success in dating.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Yeah. Some guys have no shame and they just go for it no matter what. Failure is nothing to them.

    That's the attitude I want. But then again...

    ...I'd probably have kids by now, be separated from the mother, and have a revolving door in my bedroom, all while losing money paying child support. That's hardly a glamorous life IMO. Sometimes being who you are is a blessing. You just gotta embrace it and work with it.

  • Everything else in my life would be different, not just dating.

  • Of course it would be different. Unless you are extremely hideous (as a guy, at least I think that way), looks are not that important, as the looks only do the first impression, for girls it is more important what they feel when they think about or are with a guy.

  • I think if I had the 'stereotypical jerk' personality I would have less issue attracting females. My appearance stands in the way somewhat because most assume that I'm either taken, homosexual or a complete narcissist before the rest of my being has any chance to interact. I suffer from the thought profile of "I want someone to love me, for me" without wanting to change my outer image because I personally believe it reflects my inner self, that makes me more vulnerable than most, as well as a minority. Certainly a personality swap would change this.

  • Most likely. Personality wise, I haven't put any effort or that much interest in the dating scene and rather have focused my energy into other things, so changing my personality with anyone who puts more emphasis on dating life would quite probably change my dating life.

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