Girls: I sent this letter...

Ok back story as short as I can. I had a female best friend. We were always cuddly and decided to try dating because were so comfortable with each other and spent all our time together. Due to some factors we decided to end the dating. It was a good split and we actually stayed best friends. She met another guy and they began dating. I had met him once or twice. She said he was OK with the fact we use to date and are good friends now. Things were going well for them. One day he was at my work and we were talking and I made a remark like "I am really happy you have no problem with me staying friends with X knowing we use to date. Its nice that you trust her. I am glad she is happy." Well it turns out he didn't know, he broke up with her because of it. I think she may have even lied and said were didn't date.

Now she blames me for them breaking up. It kinda is but really she lied to us both and that's how this mess started. Either way I feel guilty and terrible. I don't sleep well and don't eat well. She become more and more distant. It was hurting me that she was in pain and that I was in a way the cause and could she she resented me for it so I sent this letter...

"I am truly sorry you are going through whatever this is. I want nothing more then to be able to help and I can't. I wish you would tell me what to do instead of me guessing what you need and doing this. I think you need space to figure things out. I feel like you want to not talk to me mostly but a small part of you does take comfort in our little messages. Most of the time you are pushing me away but then there are these moments where you seem to be happy to talk to me. Either way you have been hurting me way to much, even if it is unintentional. I am here for you, any time you want or need your friend I am here. Just say the word and we can hang out. I think you actually need it but don't realize it, I could be wrong. But until you are ready, if you ever are ready I think its best if we don't talk. For me and for you. I desperately want my friend back but I can't keep going like this. So again I am sorry for whatever this is and whatever part I played that has caused this much negative emotion towards me. All the hugs I can give. Good bye."

The question is should I message her and see how she is? Its only been a couple days but its bothering me a lot. I feel so bad.

Updates:
UPDATE Thanks for all the responses. It seems every agrees and I should just leave her be. I figured that was the case. It is just so hard not to say something. Talking to someone hours a day every day then nothing. Just random trivial stuff id text her I have to tell myself every time that I can't.
So she sent me this...last night. "Happy New Year, I truly do hope you had a good night hun! I hate not talking to you, I apologize, I want to find a way to make this better."


I replied with.."I did have a good night, I hope you did. I miss talking to you so much. Thank you so much for telling me that. I thought you disliked me so much now that it was a relife for you not to talk to me. I hated thinking the friendship we built had disolved to that. I am so relived.If you decide you want to talk at some point ill be here. A day, a week, a month, whatever. I am just glad you do still think of me in a positive way."

1|1
5|1

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, that's on HER. You didn't do anything wrong and you seem like a sweetheart. If you do talk to her, don't let her twist the story and make it seem like you were wrong. There's a way to be caring yet firm, and you need to make sure you keep your backbone and don't let her make you feel bad. She needs to remember she put herself in that position. Don't contact her until she contacts you...

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 4

  • Why would YOU feel guilty when she can't even be honest to her boyfriend and her best friend? If she were honest, she wouldn't be in this mess! I would just say: "sorry things worked out like this, but you told me he knew, so I didn't think it would do any harm mentioning it since you told me he knew about us".

    She shouldn't blame you when she can't even be honest with two very important people in her life. It's her mess, let her deal with it.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Move on

    0|1
    0|0
  • I think you should leave her alone and let her deal with it by herself. If she wants to talk she will call you.

    0|1
    0|0
  • If she is not interested and can't make up her mind, you need to move.

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 1

  • At the end of the day your going to do what you want to do but here's my opinion.

    Give her tons of time apart and she will end up missing you if she really does miss your company.

    0|1
    0|0
Loading...