Ok back story as short as I can. I had a female best friend. We were always cuddly and decided to try dating because were so comfortable with each other and spent all our time together. Due to some factors we decided to end the dating. It was a good split and we actually stayed best friends. She met another guy and they began dating. I had met him once or twice. She said he was OK with the fact we use to date and are good friends now. Things were going well for them. One day he was at my work and we were talking and I made a remark like "I am really happy you have no problem with me staying friends with X knowing we use to date. Its nice that you trust her. I am glad she is happy." Well it turns out he didn't know, he broke up with her because of it. I think she may have even lied and said were didn't date.
Now she blames me for them breaking up. It kinda is but really she lied to us both and that's how this mess started. Either way I feel guilty and terrible. I don't sleep well and don't eat well. She become more and more distant. It was hurting me that she was in pain and that I was in a way the cause and could she she resented me for it so I sent this letter...
"I am truly sorry you are going through whatever this is. I want nothing more then to be able to help and I can't. I wish you would tell me what to do instead of me guessing what you need and doing this. I think you need space to figure things out. I feel like you want to not talk to me mostly but a small part of you does take comfort in our little messages. Most of the time you are pushing me away but then there are these moments where you seem to be happy to talk to me. Either way you have been hurting me way to much, even if it is unintentional. I am here for you, any time you want or need your friend I am here. Just say the word and we can hang out. I think you actually need it but don't realize it, I could be wrong. But until you are ready, if you ever are ready I think its best if we don't talk. For me and for you. I desperately want my friend back but I can't keep going like this. So again I am sorry for whatever this is and whatever part I played that has caused this much negative emotion towards me. All the hugs I can give. Good bye."
The question is should I message her and see how she is? Its only been a couple days but its bothering me a lot. I feel so bad.
Most Helpful Girl
Yes, that's on HER. You didn't do anything wrong and you seem like a sweetheart. If you do talk to her, don't let her twist the story and make it seem like you were wrong. There's a way to be caring yet firm, and you need to make sure you keep your backbone and don't let her make you feel bad. She needs to remember she put herself in that position. Don't contact her until she contacts you...1