My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months now, and although you could say we're still young, 18-20 years old, we've made the relationship seem a lot more serious that it really is.
These last few months though, have been more like torture for me. I've been getting anonymous texts telling that he cheated on me, but I decided to ignore everything. Then, a few weeks later he went out one night with his older brothers, I should probably mention that he likes drinking a lot. He got back home the next morning, at around 8, completely wasted.
Then, a few days later he went out again, but told me to keep his phone because he didn't want to lose it. I agreed, but by the time I got home I could handle it anymore, the thought of him cheating on me, so I decided to check his phone (Whatsapp, messages, phone calls, even Facebook) and in a group conversation on Whatsapp with his older brothers, my boyfriend asked: "I kissed that girl the other night, right?" and one of them (the older brother) said yes.
Anyway, I decided to confront him about this, but I didn't tell him I checked his phone, I just told him about the texts that I had been receiving for the last couple of weeks. He convinced me that he was telling the truth, and we were okay until later that day when I just freaked out and decided to tell him that I checked his phone. Again, he explained (or at least tried because none of what he said made much sense) and I told him I believed him. But the next day he insisted on showing me that conversation with his brothers, and when I saw it, his message asking if he really had kissed that girl was there, but his brother's answer wasn't. That moment, I thought that I had probably just made that up when I first read it, and decided to ignore it and just forget everything, but a while after he left I found that you could actually delete one message without deleting the whole conversation on Whatsapp. We talked about it again, and I believed every single word he said.
I decided that 3 was just more than enough times to try to make him fess up, and that I wouldn't mention it again.
Now, last night he went out with some friends from work, and I have a really strong feeling that he got drunk and cheated on me. And I realized that whenever the relationship isn't going so well, he goes out alone (we always do pretty much everything together) and he gets drunk, and gets back home at 5:30 am or so.
Do you think he cheated? Do you think I should tell him that I can't trust him if I know he'll be drinking? I don't want him to think of me as his mother, and that's why I've never told him that it bothers me so much when he drinks to the point where he won't remember a single thing the next day.
Please guys (especially guys) help me, I don't know what to do. How can I make him feel like he's losing me a little bit for him to realize all these other things?
Most Helpful Girl
I'm not a guy but you have the proof and shouldn't convince yourself otherwise. It's hard I know but it's not going to get any better unless you leave the relationship. You saw the text clear as day that he kissed another girl. Move on to someone who cares about you and won't make you look like an ass. You deserve better.1