Should you be able to look at your S.O's texts/Facebook messages?

Do you think that its fair in a relationship to ask to/look at your partners texts and FB messages or anything like that

or is it private and shouldn't be looked at?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Now, being in a relationship with someone for like a week or some short time frame =/ it may been seen in a bad light (distrusting/clingy/insecure) but if you're in a serious relationship then it really shouldn't be a problem.

    Those who still see it in a bad light while being in a relationship probably value their privacy or are up to no good. XD

    Yes, trust is the key to a good relationship but it's not the whole key that makes the relationship. As in - there are different components that go along with making a relationship work. Trust is a two way street. =/ It's not just about, "You shouldn't need to because you should trust mi." mmm that may very well be true but you should trust them with that information as well. You would more than likely have that privilege of looking at their messages or FB. If not, then they don't have that right to ask something of you that they wouldn't do for you. Unless of course you do not care/open.

    Again, I speak in reference to a long term relationship and not a short term.

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What Girls Said 11

  • I think the answer should be no. You should not be able to look through other people's belongings especially if you are built on trust. However, recently I was dating someone and we had already become an official couple. When he was texting, I just so happened to look over because the phone was next to my face and I saw that a girl had said she didn't like him kissing other girls and he replied saying that he was coming to see only her. Long story short, he said I was out of line to even think this was innappropriate but that's another story.

    I'll admit that when I did talk to other guys behind my ex's back I did hide things and he eventually found out on his own. When people cheat, they become very protective of their privacy. It almost becomes blantantly obvious. So no, I don't think you should look through others' things because you should already have the trust there. But when has your instinct ever been wrong? I've found that if there is a reason to think something is wrong, then something is wrong. If you get that feeling, don't bother looking because it is almost always true.

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  • No. I would end it immediately with any guy who asked for my fb password or anything of the sort. There should be trust in relationships. I think it's so obnoxious when people share Facebook passwords with their boyfriends and girlfriends. I understand it more with spouses, though.

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  • I believe that if that s.o. is you partner for life if shouldn't matter. you should be able to have enough trust to not worry about such trivial things. but on the other hand there shouldn't be anything to hide. my husband and I keep all our stuff open. we have no issues when it comes to showing the other their messages.

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  • Nope. just because your in a relationship doesn't mean you "own" their property too. there should be no reason you should have to go through that other persons phone to see if you can find them flirting with others or whatever. if your in that relationship, you should trust that person right away/the whole time so its unneccessary. If you have an "open phone" policy like I've heard some couples do, then there's a serious problem and I would definitely be reevaluating that relationship.

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  • Depends on how serious you guys are.. I personally think you should

    Be able to look at each others Facebook and phones, because

    If your girl/guy says no, its so obvious that they are hiding something...

    Idk, that's just me!

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  • No

    People deserve their privacy whether they're single, in a steady relationship, engaged or married. There's no excuse for digging through a partners things.

    And when people go looking for trouble, they often get trouble.

    It's about trust and respect.

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  • I think that is a really grey area. It is not a definitive yes or no. You have some people that would take the simplest and most innocent thing and turn it into something it is not so to let them see that stuff would be bad. But on the other hand if someone is adamant that it is not to be looked at I would guess, in most but not all cases, that that person is doing something they should not be doing when they have a SO.

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  • No I don't think that's fair. Anyone who's involved in a relationship deserves privacy, but also trust that comes along with it. The fact that a guy would want to be involved in every text or message I decide to send sounds possessive to me and would make me think that he doesn't trust me. Now, on the other hand if a situation came up and he wanted to maybe see my phone, then yeah, I don't mind, I have nothing to hide. But, if it's just for sole purpose of being nosy, that's a problem.

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  • With a girl you trust it shouldn't even be a concern of yours to read her PMs. In a secure relationship you don't really think of that.

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  • no, it's invasion of privacy. there's no need to be looking at it.

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  • no you should trust that person..

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What Guys Said 2

  • I don't think so. If you are having those kinds of issues with a significant other, you should seriously reconsider if that is the right person for you.

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  • It shouldn't be asked. If they wish to share it with you then cool. (I personally reject when they do). Everyone needs some space for themselves to have a healthy relationship.

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