Is it just me or do shy, reserved women lose out in the dating scene?

Is it just me, or does it always seem that shy, quiet girls lose out? I'm 26 years old, almost 27 years old and I've never been asked out on a date or even liked by a guy. I think I'm a positive happy person, but I'm not that type of girl to just walk up to a guy and start a conversation. I'm more quiet and reserved in that way. I find that girls who flaunt themselves and post pictures of themselves on Facebook do really well with the guys. I, on the other hand, hate pictures of myself. I really do not want to change myself. Is it just me? Do I just fall into the category of "not likeable" to men?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To be honest, I believe shy guys lose out far more than girls, at least girls only have to wait for the approach (so it is widely believed).As a shy girl imagine if you were having to do what's expected of a guy.

    Anyhow, there's no problem with being quiet and reserved, it's another if you seem unapproachable, you already express a dislike of photos of yourself, just be careful that you are not transmitting that image. It won't deter everyone, but will most likely deter the good ones.

    Be weary of flaunting yourself on social media, you will get attention, but it's unlikely to be from the right people.

    I doubt that no-one's ever liked you and would rather believe that as long as you have been around the opposite gender, it's possible that someone liked you but either were shy, or believed that it was one way i.e. you didn't seem to show interest.

    It is advisable that you emit some form of sign to guys you like. The are well know and yes generic but it's a guide of indication of interest (IOI) which is useful for both parties.

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What Guys Said 10

  • You should read this guide I wrote:

    link

    Most likely you're doing one or more things to avoid being noticed and you need to work on them.

    Do you not like to post pictures of yourself due to being overweight, or otherwise not taking care of your appearance? Yes, some girls push it to the point of being shallow, but you also have to do the bare minimum at least, as men aren't blind.

    Answer the questions above and we'll go from there.

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  • I think shy, reserved people lose out, not just women.

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  • I think it's the same vice versa too. I'm a guy and I'm also reserved and shy too and a lot of girls don't really bother with me because they feel like I wouldn't have interest or whatever. But yea it's always awkward from both a guys and girls side to just randomly go up to someone you like and talk to them. There's always that fear of rejection or how that person would take your approach.

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  • This really depends on a few things:

    What do you look like?

    Do you project any confidence?

    Do you do anything that interacts with people?

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  • Shy guys lose out to though.

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  • yes it does, you already know the answer to this question

    why do you think girls dress so slutty? They have to try and outdo each other for a guy's attention.

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  • Not really, from what I've seen at least. Shy, reserved guys lose out in the dating scene.

    There's always a chance that a guy will approach you sometime.

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  • so you have never had a boyfriend before?

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    • sorry, I feel your pain because I can relate

  • Shy girls only lose out if they are passive and don't make their interest known. Even quiet types have to work at it, men don't drop out of the sky into your lap.

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  • Do you want to be seen as a sexual object? Is that what you ultimately want? Because that's mostly what the girls that are flaunting themselves are getting. They seem to like it though.

    Two things can be going on here. Either you're not very attractive and/or your shyness makes you look bitchy and unapproachable. Even if the first part is true, you'd still get some kind of attention, so it could be that, like most shy people, are oblivious to the people that are interested in you that way. You don't have to approach guys to get one. You just have to seem open, friendly, and approachable.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I believe shy girls and guys do miss out sometimes. Depending on how you look, people may come up to you and make starting conversations easier. I'm shy, but that definitely helped me out. But going up and talking to people more isn't changing all too much about you. Striking up conversations is good. It doesn't really change who you are. And being shy doesn't make you unlikeable, it just makes it harder for people to see what to like. I mean, how can you like someone if they don't know who you are?

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  • Well you’re not really telling us much about you or your personality. Or what you look like.

    I don’t want to sound cocky or anything but I seem to get almost any guy I want. Actually I can’t even think of one guy I have wanted and tried for and I didn’t end up with. If you would like pointers or advice about dating or ways to interact with guys you can add me and message me on I'm and I will be more than happy to help. But I would need to see a picture of you, because appearance is the first place to start.

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    • Just added you as friend. Hopefully you get my request!

  • Unless you're super hot, you'll miss out if you're shy. That's because guys expect girls to do all the work these days.

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  • Yes

    Girls misinterpret being shy, quiet or reserved for being lazy and not putting in any effort. Those girls who post pictures online tend to have more confidence and go after what they want.

    You can't just sit around expecting guys to chase you. You have to put in effort. I think it's worse for guys who are shy/reserved/shy since they are generally the ones who should do the approaching

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  • I bet you have been liked by a guy, but you just haven't realized it.

    link

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