Girls what comes on your mind when the guy you like doesn't text you first.

There is this girl exchanged her number with me at the gym. I always wait for her to text me first. She does text me first most of the time. What do you think when he doesn't text you first/much? I am *interested*

Updates:
Didn't say always wait for you to text. I wait for the first time. I said first.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think anything. I don't see why the man should text first. I see all of these women saying "I assume he's not interested." What if all of the men felt the same way if the woman didn't text first? It's so stupid, why do there have to be so many 'he should/she should' rules when it comes to dating? Just go with the flow. If you like someone contact them, if they don't contact you in the blink of an eye, grow up and realize that their world doesn't revolve around you, they have lives too you know!

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    • I know right. When they don't text you first they expect you to be okay but when you don't text them first they get all butt-hurt and thinking that your not interested.. I like that answer!

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    • This is honestly is a realization I wish more girls would come to. Honestly I think many women do know this, but are in denial. They continue to act like guys are emotionless computers who will chase them without question. We have insecurities as well and can also think you aren't interested. I can understand getting fed up if you keep initiating, but the point is someone has to make the first move, after that it should be 50/50, whatever it is.

    • I agree, if want someone, go for them, don't wait around for them to come to you

What Girls Said 60

  • I assume he's not very interested and is probably busy texting other girls that he likes more. If I know he likes me for sure, I'll think he's playing games, or is too scared to demonstrate his attraction for me like a grown man. Both are turn offs.

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  • I think there should be an even middle.

    She is clearly showing her interest and you should has well.

    Some days allow her to text you first...

    Other days text her first.

    If you always let her do that first, she will feel as if she likes you more or you don't like her has much.

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  • Um man up and do some of the pursuing otherwise she will move on to someone who will give her the attention she desires. Ugh why do guys play these ridiculas games especially when they are interested in the girl?

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    • if him waiting for _you_ to text first, is a game... Then why isn't you're waiting for him to text, playing a game?

    • Hi random chica that is deciding to comment on everyones answers...Yeah anyways I never once said that I wait for a guy to text me first so please don't put words in my mouth. You are just making yourself sound like a puppet for the question asker and it's super freakin annhoying. My point was that he should do some of the pursuing otherwise she will prob lose interest. Maybe you should really read peoples answers before you decide to comment a 100 times cause it just makes you look clueless:)

  • Usually the girl isn't interested if she doesn't text you first.

    My question is, did you ask her your number or vise versa?

    If you ask her for her number, then you HAVE TO TEXT HER FIRST. Girls is waiting.

    If she got your number first, then ball is on her court. And she needs to text you first. If she doesn't, then forget about it. If she really was "interested" she would have easily texted you first.

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    • She asked for my number.. We been texting for 2 weeks but I always wait for her to text me if she doesn't I don't text her until she does...

  • If it's someone I'm still getting to know, I'd initially think that he isn't interested in me. If I'm always the one doing the chasing, initiating contact, making plans etc, it becomes too much of a burden for me. I'd like to see him give some effort too. Otherwise, I'd give up on him rather quickly.. If he initiates contact just as much as me, it's basically a hint that he's actually interested in me as well.

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  • It's always nice for a guy to text you first because it shows he IS interested in talking to you. And you're not just annoying him when you text him first. That being said, I do text guys first about 50% of the time, I have no issue with texting him first. But sometimes I feel that I'm annoying him if it's always me sending the first text. It's just nice to have a little reassurance once in a while that I'm not. :)

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  • I don't like that at all. If you make me feel like I have to put in all the effort, if you make me feel like I have to chase you, then you're telling me that you don't really care whether I do chase you or not. And if I'm expendable to you, then I'm not going to chase you.

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    • My apologies for misunderstanding you. You wrote " I always wait for her to text me first. " You must have meant "her" as in "multiple women." Most of us read that as, "This specific woman" (singular). Either way, if you won't text me FIRST, the first time, I'm most likely not texting you. You hit on a bunch of girls a night (generally speaking, as a guy). Let's see if I stand out from that crowd.

  • Well if you're talking about your type of situation =/ then either I would think he doesn't really care, busy, playing mind games. Well that's directed toward the whole "doesn't text much" pt. I don'care who text first but if they get mad that I don't text as much or ever then it's kinda like...why are you mad? you never text that much or first anyways =/ lol

    Hope it helps ^_^

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  • It makes me think that the guy in question doesn't think about me unless I am standing in front of his face.

    When the guy texts me first, that doesn't automatically make me think, "He thinks about me all day and obsesses about me," but it makes me happy to think "I crossed his mind today."

    I think you should text her first once in a while, allow her to know you think about her, even if only a little. :) But only once you feel comfortable!

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  • As far as all this crap about a guy initiating everything shows you can trust him and trust he likes you. I don't but it. its easy to fall into a role everyone expects. it takes a lot of strength to act like a real human being with feelings and thoughts and uncertainty.

    if a person doesn't freak out when you contact them, this is much more valuable then them contacting u.

    if someone is relaxed and persuing there just being horny and polite. you don't know who they are when you turn out to be a real person with real preferences real strength and real assertion.

    someone responding well, is the important thing. anyone can bounce its how you catch that counts. imo.

    who cares who texts first as long as it keeps flowing.

    anyone can feel shy or uncertain when they like someone and that's real. to ignore it and do things you are not ready to do ends up in you feeling aggressive towards the other person and when the high wares off you feel entitled and annoyed.

    if two people can respect each other in interactions, not on score boards. then good for them. who cares who makes the first move as long as you get somewhere.

    she should he should doesn't work. because you can't know someone until they know you. and no one can know you if everything you do is based on someone elses idea of what you should do. or if you're not doing anything but leaving t all up to them. in addition its impossible to take someone seriously when they refuse to act on their own behalf.

    they might like your attention your look, your smell, that you make them feel wanted. but they can't respect you as a human being if all you're doing is recieving -or not recieving- their advances.

    you need to step up to the plate every once in a while. woman and men. ESPECIALLY when you're not sure 100%. because to be 100% sure is delusional. no one knows what will happen. we find out by trying.

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  • I generally think he's either just not all that interested or he's playing some sort of game. At my age *20*, if you like a guy or girl, be bold about showing your interest. Unless he has an extremely busy lifestyle, then that's what I think *keep in mind that even men with the businest lifestyles can sitll find the time to send a text: it takes a minute at most* .

    I knew a guy who texted me less than two hours after we met. I liked that :) It showed that he was being assertive and confident enough to let me know he's interested. A year or so later, I knew a guy who texted me two to three days after we met. That made me think that he was one of those guys who meets girls and gets their numbers so he can f*ck them later on like he wasn't really all that interested in me.

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  • If your interested then you should text her first. It's as simple as that. Not necessarily all the time but you shouldn't expect her to be the one to always text first, because then she may think she is annoying, so occasionally, you have to take the first step.

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  • Honestly, most girls will go into it thinking it is just whatever until they start to lose confidence and begin to think that maybe they are texting too much or the guy isn't interested anymore. Typically, at this point a girl will most likely wait a few days to see if the guy will text first. If he doesn't, usually she will assume that he has lost interest in her and is only texting back to humor her. Guys should initiate sometimes at least if they like the girl!:)

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  • I would think that he wasn't really interested. As girl we're always told that if a guys REALLY likes you he'll be after you...if a guy is not going after me through text, conversation, ect. then I would forget him.

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    • @As girl we're always told that if a guys REALLY likes you he'll be after you

      And,...As girl can you think for _yourself_?

  • Im on Facebook a lot, and I really love a guy from Australia.

    He always waits till I send something to him, and that's kinda annoying.

    Makes me feel like he doesn't like me, but during our conversations he says that he loves me.

    It confused me first, but now I'm kinda used to it.

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    • he didn't say _always_waits for you to texrt. just that he waits the first time. he said first.

  • I don't think the guy should ALWAYS text first, but if you never do, it seems like you're uninterested in me. Then I get to thinking that if he isn't texting me first, he must not want to talk to me and that I'm being annoying. and then I stop, not because I don't like you, but because I don't want to be annoying.

    I think who texts first should be split 50/50

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  • If I ALWAYS text first, I will feel like I'm pestering, annoying, or he's just not that interested and probably quit after a while. For me it needs to go both ways otherwise I'll fizzle out whatever relationship it is.

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  • Call me old fashioned, but as a girl, I can be a little shy sometimes.I don't like texting a guy first.the feeling when a guy doesn't text me is either 1) he doesn't actually like me, or 2) he's too much of a wimp to have the guts to text me. Then I think he isn't man enough for me and I lose interest. I want a confident guy who has no problem texting me first.

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  • i would assume he is not interested becasue he isn't taking time out to contact me. idc who starts the conversation but I would feel like I'm bothering him if I'm always texting 1st

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  • I usually think he doesn't care about me or like me. I feel like a bother to him. Maybe I would try and keep in contact with him and stay positive for a while, but I'd probably be tired of the situation after a while and just forget about him.

    Maybe I'd call when I was drunk or bored, but I wouldn't be expecting anything.

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  • If you're interested then show it...

    If someone doesn't text me, I assume he's not interested.

    I initiate conversation with people I'm interested in.

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  • Well, even with modern tech, if a guy texts first he shows interest, and it adds that little extra bounce in a girl's walk, makes her smile more and possibly encourages even more texting on her end. If she is texting first all the time, she has interest, and will keep texting you, as long as you show interest and that you like her messaging you so much. As soon as you slack off, write less, don't respond as much, then she will feel invasive and back off too.It's not a good place to be. It should be equal I think but I like the guy checking in on me.

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  • I would think that if he never texted me first that he was either just shy or he didn't like me that much. To me ideal is texting first half of the time.

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  • If she is interested in you, then she is probably texting you anyways. The clincher here, is that a girl wants to be pursued. She wants the guy to show he is interested, and make her feel wanted. Whether its simple flirting or full on serenades, texting first at least 50% but not more than 85% of the time will keep a woman content and help in keeping her interested. Just think of it as fishing, you gotta put the bait on the hook, cast it out, and hope the fish bites.

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  • I've never been in a situation where numbers are exchanged like that, but when my boyfriend doesn't text first it really hurts. He is never willing to text me when I am away for a week or so at a time, and it feels like he doesn't even notice I'm gone. Sometimes we will go days without talking because I get fed up and won't say a word to him until he feels like talking to me, but he has always been like this.

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  • Man up and text her first! Jeeeeez you would make things a lot clearer if you did it. Unless you aren't interested then yeah I guess don't text her.

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    • I just like being chased..but I will

  • I think that he isn't interested in me. I don't mind texting first sometimes, but when it's every time it makes be feel like I'm just being a bother.

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  • lol I like all these women saying if the guy likes her and doesn't text first its a game, and if she really likes him shell feel unappreciated and move on, so freaking hypocritical and weak. I agree with bA. this sado-maschistic self envy bs is really annoying to read.let alone have to experience.

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    • Lol you owned everybody

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    • HE said first time. NOT alway. Most of you are responding to 'always' . its not so funny id want to correct that,seeing as you're answering a question based on something the QA did not say. because I'm intersted in answers to the actual question.

    • I responded to the answers that used the word 'always'. not that you actually care about reality.

  • That he doesn't really like me... and he's just waiting for me to text him all the time... It's very one sided.

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  • I would assume that he's not interested. I would stop texting eventually and wait for him to make a move.

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    • What do you mean stop texting eventually..he didn't say _always_waits for you to texrt. just that he waits the first time. he said first.

    • Ok whatever. I misread it.

    • Actually, he DID say that. "I always wait for her to text me first." is exactly what he said, lol.

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