LADIES: Should a guy be responsible for paying for the first few dates?

It is widely common when two people first start dating that the guy pays for at least the first 3 dates (or at least this is how I was raised). My question is how many ladies out there agree with this method of thinking?

  • Yes, the guy should pay for the first few dates
    50% (10)20% (3)37% (13)Vote
  • No, I think it's fair that we both pay 50/50 for the first few dates
    45% (9)33% (5)40% (14)Vote
  • No, I think it's OK if the lady pays for the first few dates.
    0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
  • MEN CLICK HERE FOR RESULTS
    5% (1)47% (7)23% (8)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If the guys asks me, I usually assume that he's paying. Just as I would assume I was paying if I asked him. Even if he asks me, I will offer to split 50/50, but I'd be a bit turned off if he let me split it because I wouldn't let him split if I asked him.

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    • Cause he treats you equally and expects you to do your fair share? If you get turned off by that, you're not worth a damn to date imo.

    • Ummm I am being fair. If I asked him I just said I'd never let him pay or split, I'd insist that I pay. Do you read? I'm not going out for coffee with a friend, it's a date, and I think one person should cover the whole thing when you do that. Take turns, whatever. And my amazing boyfriend would disagree. How's your dating life? You're mean.

    • How often do you ask him out? Girls usually seem to wait around for guys to ask, which leaves us paying most every time.

What Girls Said 8

  • I personally like to swoon over traditional ideas that the guy wanted to take care of a small gesture to at least pay for the first date. Yet if the guy openly asks the lady to split the bill, mature women would not mind it at all, some (I would) even be charmed and think the guy is confident to open up topics like that. However by the second date they should discuss how paying the bill can work out between them. It's not offensive to ..most.. women now to request a split bill, she might even fight to pay for the whole bill!

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  • My boyfriend paid for the first dates (3 maybe) until we were official. He'd buy me drinks a pay for a dinner or so. After we became official, he asked me if it was alright that we'd split the bill at dinner. We've been splitting ever since, even for fast food expenses and cheap stuff. He pays for the both of us on special occasions, like our one year anniversary and my birthday. And once in a while he buys me drinks. Other than that, we split and that's what I'm expecting.

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  • I don't think a guy should be responsible for paying for the first few dates and I have more than enough money to pay for my own meals. But I do think it says something wonderful about a guy who is willing and insists on paying for the first few dates :) You don't find guys like that around much anymore.

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  • Not necessarily. If we go for dinner and for a few drinks after or the movies, whatever and he's paid for dinner then I will insist on paying for the drinks, or the movie etc, or vice versa. I work, I have money too, its only fair, guys aren't made of money. But I will say I've had "minor disagreements" with guys over this, including my fiance even now after 11 years together.

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  • I think that the guy should definitely pay on the first date unless there are money issues that prevent it. Beyond that, do whatever the hell you want. Sometimes I want to pay for the entire date, but I can see how guys can feel a little emasculated by that. Sometimes the guy offers to pay and I'm fine with that but I'll always do the check dance. Sometimes we go Dutch. It all depends on what the couple wants to do and feels comfortable with.

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    • I don't know of many guys who'll get emasculated or care anymore if a girl pays these days.

      If men pay for the first date, do they choose what women eat for that dinner then too? Like the old traditional days? I don't get why women are happy to take the benefits of the old days, but refuse to accept the trade off the benefit gave (i.e. you didn't have a choice in what you ate). Seems kinda... greedy to demand the right to have a choice, but not take the responsibility in paying fairly.

    • I actually went on a date with a guy once who was very insulted when I tried to pay for myself. Some guys get like that.

      Hey, it's not my or any other woman's fault that guys are willing to work harder to get into a girl's pants than a girl is to get into his. That's how it works these days. Instead of him paying and picking her meal (which I'm pretty sure never happened), he pays and she's expected to put out, otherwise she's called a bitch and a tease. Wouldn't guys prefer the modern way?

  • I think its impressive for a guy to a pay for the first few date, but if things do get serious and they continue to see each other the girl should start sharing the costs. This does not mean that I'm against the girl sharing in the first few, I just think it looks better for the guy to try and get her attention during the first few.

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  • I would love for my date to pay for the first date. In return on the second date I would like the opportunity to pay. I wouldn't mind alternating like that, but splitting the bill is definitely appropriate too. It's a nice chivalrous thing for a guy to pay on the first date.

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  • I think it depends. If the guy willingly asked you out and it was the first date, then of course, I think it makes more sense for him to pay. But, maybe the second or third date when you guys are both more so interested in seeing each other, it should be a mutual thing to where both of you contribute to whatever you guys are doing.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Some girls are so stuck up on this site that they expect the man to pay on every date no matter how expensive they run the bill up. In my opinion, women are still subservient to men in the dating world. Men are expected to initiate and pay. Perhaps, we should bring back the old tradition of choosing what the girl eats too.

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  • Perhaps it isn't the norm these days but I pay for every date, not just the first few. Even after I have been seeing a girl for a long time I continue to pay for every date and any events that I set up or plan for us to attend. I don't mind if the girl pays for the activities that she plans for us but I definitely pay for all of the ones that I schedule.

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  • Girls are very understanding by nature so it's best they also have the feeling that they had a part in the decision when it comes to date payments.

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  • Yes ma and papas were right you pay for the first three four if you feel like Mr. Money Bags. When you tell her that you now needs to pay her own half do it before the date actually starts. If you do start dating this girl you pay for the six month and year anniversiary but also randomly pay for her food bowling shoes ect

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  • Swear, any girl (or guy) who votes A is a foo.

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    • Knew it... knew some women would vote A. F***them.

    • Fudgeknackerbits! I read this comment and now I got to vote A!

    • Man I do gotta say, way too many girls think that they should be given the benefits of the old days while not accepting what the costs were to those benefits in the old days. The only thing that really pisses me off about women and feminism these days :\ you know why men paid? Cause they were the only ones making the money. Now you women make the money too, do your fair share. If you want equality, start being responsible and being fair. Don't keep thinking you're deserving of benefits of old.

  • I expect to be paying a lot. It feels weird for a girl to pay for a date.

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  • this is another chance for her to show her independence...this if for all the independent women stay that way. you don't need nobody doing what you can do all by yourself. right?

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  • 50/50 for all dates, women have the right to work too in these days

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