Blunt or honest woman?

I was wondering guys, if a woman texted you "I'm not mad or anything like that but I was wondering was sleeping with me your only intentions? I don't care either way, I just want to know" is that too blunt? because I am the type of girl that doesn't like to play games or beat around the bush when it comes to talking about guys and things I want to know.

the guy texted back saying "No because if it was don't you think I wouldn't be texting you back or talking to you" and then in the evening after I didn't respond to the last message he said "what did you?" not sure what that means exactly but would you guys be mad if a girl sent that kind of text that I sent to him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He basically said what I would have. You can tell someone up front (not on the first date) but before the first time you have sex with them that you either don't mind being FWB or you absolutely don't want to be FWB. Once you've already had sex with him, it's kinda late in the game to ask. You're at his mercy at that point. I understand feelings can change, and maybe you realize after you had sex with him that you maybe you cared more than you thought you did. But go ahead and say that. Don't hit him with the "I don't care either way", 'cause you kind of already tipped your hand and showed that you do care. Else, you wouldn't ask that question at all. It would have just been sex. As a guy, that text from you seems a little bit like your getting nervous and approaching the situation in a weird way. It's better to put it all on the table as soon as possible rather than act like everything is cool, but secretly stress out. Because now, he's gonna be stressed wondering if you are on the verge of flipping out on him, or no longer being cool. And yes, if he was just using you for sex...that's exactly the kind of text that he'd have conveniently ignored, or at least waited at least 24 hours before answering (bullsh*tting an answer really). I'm guessing the guy actually likes you, but you probably annoyed him a little and wondering if you're about to get weird on him.

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    • Yeah, I was afraid of that. I shouldve phrased it better because I really wouldn't have gotten mad I just wanted to know because I've done FWB before and I'm not about that anymore. I probably just wouldve asked to be friends if he said that's all he wanted. My friend went to the same party he was at and I guess they were talking about me and he said he thought things were going good between us so idk. His friends and cousins tell me all the time that he never invites girls to parties that he is

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    • yeah I guess the only problem is that we hardly ever talk. I met him like 2 weeks before I had to go home for Christmas break and my Christmas break is a month long. so should I just hit him up when I get back from Christmas break? (by the way I'm in college and I go to college in a different state then where my hometown is which is why I couldn't just make plans to hang out with him casually.)

    • I don't see anything wrong with texting him once in a while until you get back to school and can hang out.

What Guys Said 4

  • I love your directness. It's always best if you're direct with your feelings when it comes to confronting men. You're not too forward. It's best if you'll hit up some time with him when coming back from college.

    I guess whatever you want to text will do. You have your way with words, and you have the ability to be direct and that's very attractive.

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  • we actually prefer blunt questions.. let me rephrase that

    we actually love blunt questions... no still not there

    We actually don't have a clue what your saying to us unless you are blunt, precise and to the point.

    so no it was probably refreshing for him, and I thin he just made a grammar error and he's asking you the same as what your asking him, to me it sounds like he wants you for more than just sex, why would he care what you want if that's all he's after?

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  • He was asking you if you slept with him just because. Let me put it this way, if you want to get anything out of a guy, you've got to be blunt.

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    • thank you, that is what I thought. I didn't want him to think I was accusing him of just sleeping with me just because but I also needed to know. I guess I couldve worded the text a little better than what I did. normally I like to discuss these things in person with the guy but I was leaving for a month.

  • If that had happened to me I would be very confused at first. Whether or not its the truth, is for you to find out. I guess I'd be confused then worried

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What Girls Said 5

  • I don't care if guys think it's blunt or honest. If I have something in my mind that is disturbing me, I will say it out, so I think it was a good thing that you asked him that question. Besides, guys like direct questions, instead of indirect, confusing questions/mannerisms.

    The question will let him know that you mean business and that you are not going to tolerate just about anything from him.

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    • Although it's not necessarily going to get out the truth from him. He could still be lying or telling the truth. You'll just have to see through his actions, after ll, actions speak louder.

    • Thank you for your advice! it really helps :) yeah I don't normally trust guys too often, they have to earn that trust.

  • I wouldn't take that as blunt, I'd take it as insecure.

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  • you were not blunt, you were just being frank about your feelings. I would rather you talked it out then to bottle it up ...

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  • I admire your directness as well, and I know you're not looking for a girls answer especially, but do you really think a guy will be honest and actually tell you yes, I'm just looking for sex? I really don't think that's how mens minds work. For one, if they did reply honestly to your question, then they know that's it. No more sex with that girl. What a WONDERFUL world it would be if all women could ask this question and get a real answer. It would save all of us a lot of grief in the long run.
    And don't let his "would I still be calling you?" bit work. I've asked guys if sex was all they were after and they told me about the same line as your guy did. "Would I do this to you" or "would I still be calling you if all I wanted was sex?" the answer is yes. they will and some men (not all) will use every method they can just to keep you on the side for as long as they can.

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    • yes that is exactly my thoughts also! I actually hate that line because to be honest he's the first guy to use a line like that with me and I was a little taken back because I thought guys only used those lines in movies..when he said that I was like "are you serious? that's exactly what someone who only wants sex would say" should I keep talking to him and hanging out with him but don't have sex with him? I know I can't really undo what happened between us but I don't want to continue giving him

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    • you sound really guarded like me, and that's a good thing to be. I would continue to hang out with him and see how he acts with you. See if he will just hang out and do things with you outside of sex. But if every time you see him he expects something then I would dump him. But if you two can go out together one day without having sex then he might be worth your while.

    • okay I will do that then, thank you so much for your advice :)

  • You can be as blunt as you want, that doesn't mean you won't be lied to.

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