Men, what should I think about this guy's stand-offishness?

I dated a guy 11 years ago (I was 27 and he was 30). I broke up with him due to a personal situation, not another guy and there was never another girl (with him). We had a great relationship. Ten years went by and we both met up with a mutual friend at the same time. There was a lot of passion that still exist between both of us. We did spend the night together and began texting over the next few months. We do not live in the same state. The texting died down and I learned he was in a relationship. Then a few months ago he started texting again (and his relationship has ended). Very sweet text. We met again over New years and had a great night. Then the following day we were suppose to meet up again but he cancelled. I did get an apology text and it said it was great to see you, maybe you can come to visit me in the state he lives. It bothered me so I was a little stand-offish. Now, it has been 4 days and I have not heard from him. Should I totally back off and leave it alone? What is going on with him? Or should I text him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would leave the effort up to him, if he is into you, he will make it obvious and put in the required effort, if he doesn't, then you were good for a short time thing, but his interest has wondered and you no longer have his full attention, someone else has it,x

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What Guys Said 2

  • Eh.. he's probably just taking advantage of you. If he contacts you again just be upfront and talk about where do you want the relationship to go, I mean you guys aren't teenagers anymore. If you're serious about each other then hook up or get married if not then move on.

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  • When a girl stops messaging me, that's the que that she is purposely trying to ignore me because she is not interested. If you been stand-offish, most likely he thinks your not interested.

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    • I think I made it obvious I was interested. I was the one who text him to see when he would be returning. He cancelled and had a bogus excuse. Then the following day I get a text apologizing and saying it was great to see you...why don't you come visit me at home... I responded lightheartedly but did not continue to text like he had been used to.

    • You just said it, " I responded lightheartedly but did not continue to text like he had been used to", your giving him cold feelings!

What Girls Said 1

  • It kinda sounds like he's using you as his "back up plan". Just be an adult and ask him what the heck is going on. If he sees your forwardness maybe he will be forthcoming himself.

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    • Yes, I think you are right. I feel as if I am a "back up" plan and that is not good. Thanks.

    • Don't let yourself be anyone's back up plan!

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