Do guys expect sex after the 2nd/3rd date?

I'm not the type to have sex easily. I've been dating this one guy and we had our second date recently. I felt like he was trying to initiate sex or some kind of physical intimacy.

Is it normal to have sex so early? I don't want to do that. What are ways I can make him wait without telling him?

Should I only go to certain places with him on dates, at a certain time of the day, etc?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It depends upon how the guy was brought up, his level of sex drive, his looks, what kind of girl he thinks you are, whether or not he's interested in the long-term or short-term, his income and so forth. If he's a really attractive guy who has money or good looks, he will likely be pushing for sooner rather than later, as if you don't put out, he'll find a girl who will. Now, if he's only average looking or not really rich, he'll wait longer, as he has less options. Ask yourself, can you see a lot of other girls dating this guy? If the answer is "yes" that means he's used to girls putting out sooner rather than later.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I'd say after a month's time of knowing each other or "going together"...

    Regardless if you went on just one date or 30 dates within that time frame... a month is the perfect length of time.

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  • if u dont want to he's gonna have to deal with it, if he's to pushy then maybe he's not the right guy,

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  • we almost divide girls into 3 category 1.we want to keep her in museum 2.we want to have chit chat imitate(but don't want to have sex )3.we want to have her (she is the sex goddess with everything having perfect things at perfect place & now you decide which one you belong to ...

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  • It depends upon what types of men you date. If you date aggressive men or bad boys, they'll push early and often. The more conservative and boring guys generally don't feel comfortable doing that as easily. You have to make compromises. The more successful, hot or otherwise attractive qualities a guy has, he's more likely to make you to want to put out quickly.

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  • Depends on the guy. Some guys are willing to wait a while. Others don't want to wait. The sex on the third date thing has become a thing with some people. So yeah, some actually expect sex by the third date. Heck, there are people who expect to have sex by the first date. Where you go can send a message though. It could tell him whether you're interested or not, but some guys won't pick up on that. Some plainly don't care.

    Look it all varies from guy to guy. I say just hold out until you are ready, regardless of what they think, and do it when you think it feels right, or when you think you can trust him. Make a judgment call. it's up to you. Sorry I can't give you better advice.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Remember that guys are typically the pushers in a relationship. If he didn't try, then you'd probably think he wasn't interested.

    I read somewhere that the ideal length of time to wait before having sex is 10 dates. Of course he'll like it if you give in earlier, but he'll respect you if you don't give in just yet. And guys secretly like when a girl waits for a bit... it shows they don't sleep with just any guy.

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  • It doesn't matter what they EXPECT. It's YOUR body and you don't have to have sex with anyone until YOU are ready to have it. Sex with another human being is a privilege, not an entitlement and it must be consensual. Some people don't understand what consensual sex means. There is no time limit on when to have sex with someone. Take this pressure off yourself. The time to do it is when you want to do it and not a minute sooner. And sex between 2 adults is not consensual if the guy pushes for it and you give in. There has to be mutual desire and enthusiasm to have consensual sex. You may even discover that this isn't a guy you want to have sex with after you get to know him. That is fine too. To answer your question "What are ways I can make him wait without telling him?" Well you can't. Communication is necessary. Also you're not making him wait. You're communicating your needs to him, that you need to wait to have sex until you are ready because if he is trying to get physical with you then you cannot avoid this topic, and he can do whatever he wants with this information. He can wait to have sex with you or he can move on to the next girl. That will tell you how interested he is in having a potential relationship with you. To delay sex for a while and take time to get to know each other just continue to go on dates in the world outside your home. Avoid the cozy "watching a movie" date at your place or his until you're prepared for the probability that cuddling, kissing and making out will lead to sex. If you want to hold hands in a dark room go to a public theater. But make sure you do more than watch movies. Go places where you can talk, museums, parks, the Zoo, bowling, for dinner, dancing, to a ball game, whatever you both enjoy doing.

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  • Yes, sex is certainly on their minds from the first date itself; but if you're not comfortable you don't have to give in so soon if you don't want to. Tell him that you would like to share intimacies with him at some time, but you want to get to know him, and be sure of your feelings for him, before you venture into that zone. If he respects you, he'll wait for you to be ready for it; if not, he'll dump you, in which case it would probably be good riddance.

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  • It's normal to want it that early but don't give in

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