this is in reference to girls that I'm meeting online via dating websites... I'm really struggling to connect with girls when I online chat to them, or after a while it feels like we run out of things to talk to, and I always feel like I'm the one having to make the effort to make conversation. I mean there were a couple who I felt like I connected with but each of them inexplicably removed me from their contacts before I met them so I'm thinking they found someone else or something.
But anyway the thing where I struggle to connect and feel like I have to make a huge effort to make conversation and that, I think this might be due to my AS... and I'm just struggling to meet a girl who I really get on with even though online dating is supposed to be ideal for people with AS. So I'm thinking I should tell girls that I have AS to hopefully make them a little more considerate and understanding... but I can't just go around telling all the girls as soon as I start talking to them or say publish it on my profile can I? Because y'know, people, for the most part, discriminate against AS people, whether they know it or not... so I figure I won't have a chance if I tell girls right away because I think that would make them write me off straight away.
So what do I do? When do I tell them? What do you think?
Most Helpful Guy
You may want to delay the discussion of it until you see the girl a second time or maybe even later. If people cannot immediately see that your behavior differs from what is considered a norm, there is no need to announce it right away. Even if you were diagnosed, correctly or not, who says you cannot lead a life like everyone else? Personal medical data is confidential. You are not obliged to disclose it to anyone you meet for the first time.
If you think it appropriate, you may wish to mention that you have certain symptoms or sometimes you behave unusually. You'll have a chance to observe the effect on your partner. If it scares her, then it's no big deal. It means she's not the right one for you. After all, you are looking for someone who'll accept you as you are.
If you feel that the bond between you and your partner is getting stronger, you should tell everything about yourself honestly. This is the only way to establish a long-lasting relationship. It is best delayed until you meet face to face.
If you choose to indicate your condition in your profile, the discussion above will not not apply. If you do so, it may turn many people away from you. It does not mean that they have discriminating tendencies. Many people do not know how to behave towards someone diagnosed with a mental illness or condition. On the other hand, a girl with a similar diagnosis may find it far easier to communicate with you because she'll feel that there's something to share. Do not automatically assume that everybody using a dating site is typical or perfect. A lot of people there have trouble socializing. It may be argued that this is one of the reasons they are using dating sites.