Do you need to date multiple people to realize what you want?

Now before you answer I'm not asking about being with two people at the same time...

I have had some interesting talks with my current girlfriend about this. She's my first real girlfriend and she's dated a few guys before me. I don't know if this comes from a place of insecurity, but she feels as if you can't know what you want in a girl without dating a few people.

I of course tend to disagree. I feel many of the qualities you seek in a significant other you already seek in life for friends and acquaintances. I.e. you know a good thing when you've got it.

What's your feeling? Do you need to date multiple people to realize what you want? Does it help?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Dating multiple people helps to educate you and allows you to grow when it comes to learning more about what you want in a serious relationship. I used to date around and now I am in a serious relationship where I see myself using all the tools I learned from previous short-term dating partners. Hope this helps.

    Please answer my question if you have time, link

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What Girls Said 2

  • Having dating experience (the kind you're describing here) never really helped me that much in deciding what I wanted. I knew that from the beginning. What experience did give me, however, was insight into people's motivations in relationships & helped to clarify (for me) why I wanted what I wanted. Personally, I find a lot of the facets of relationships have to do with motivation.

    Experience did help me realize one or two deal breakers that I hadn't previously considered, though.

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  • I usually do date multiple people when I am single but end up favoring and eventually exclusively dating one person. I don't think it necessarily helps to date multiple people to find what you are looking for. Usually if I don't like a guy after the first couple of dates, it wouldn't change the fact that I don't like him whether I was dating just him at the time or other people too.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I think that dating multiple women will make you understand their thought process better. It will also give you better insight into women in general. So yeah, I think she's right.

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    • There is not 'one thought process' for Women. Dating you learn how to deal with yourself dealing with others, but it is not a matter of understanding Woman, as if we are one being.

      Same thing applies to dating Men. You learn about the Man, and yourself in relation to another person. But you are not learning about all Men.

      To assume that you alienate and insult the next relationship, by jumping to unnecessary and incorrect assumptions about the individual person. No one likes prejudice.

    • Never said all women think the same.

  • You have to date multiple people to find out what you want. it's only by doing this that you learn more about yourself and grow as a person. Experiences change/define us and you can't get experience if you don't experience the world.

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  • I agree with you in this case, personally

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  • No, you really can tell what you want when you finally look at the person you want. Could be your first, could be your 10th...You'll know.

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