Can a woman with kids and very little time ever find anyone to date or be in a relationship with?

I am a full time mom, full time college student, and work about 30 hrs a week at work. I have tried to date but guys seem to not want me because I am so busy. Yeah I have my kids all the time my ex moved to another country to be with his now wife and their two kids. So what am I supposed to do?

My babysitter is family. I would feel like I am burdening them more if I ask them to watch my kids so I can go on a date. My kids do go with their dad every other Christmas and for about 6 weeks in the summer, so I do get some alone time. Its just not much.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It isn't going to be easy, so keep your expectations realistic.

    You need to figure out how many hours a week (and days a week) you could devote to a guy. Do an honest evaluation. Realize that there IS a threshold, and under that threshold, it's probably not worth it, for him OR you, to date if you can never see each other.

    How long do you need to be in school for? How old are the kids? You don't need to answer us, but you need to think about those things.

    When a guy wants to date you, he is going to actually want to DATE you. That means, spending time with you alone, talking, being romantic, etc. That doesn't work if he can only see you 30 minutes at a time, or if you are being constantly interrupted by your kids. That's just the reality.

    It may be that you will need to find an outside babysitter for the occasional date night. It may even be that you simply don't have enough free time to date right now, and that you'll have to wait until you are done with school and have more free time, and when your kids aren't quite as dependent on you. I know that sucks, but your decisions have consequences, both positive and negative. Being in school means the potential for better, higher-paying, or more rewarding jobs, but it also means potentially sacrificing relationships for a while. Is that worth it? Only you can answer that for yourself.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I would say go to school less, work less (yes, I realize this is probably not a realistic choice) or just push through until school is over then get back out there once you aren't a full time student anymore. You have to admit with your situation as you describe it, it is going to be very hard for a man to get any alone time with you. You could be the nicest person in the world but you have a lot of baggage that comes with you and guys will take that into account when it comes to dating someone.

  • Do you have some family nearby that could watch the kids while you date? How about friends or a professional babysitter?


What Girls Said 1

  • I know woman who are in the same place as you and they are with someone. I think its great that you do a lot and give you credit for doing so much. The right guy will see that and come along.