Ladies, what made you choose your current/previous boyfriend, over the other "options" for guys that you had?

I randomly started thinking about this.

It's a rare thing for a guy to like a girl and him he THE ONLY PROBABLE CHOICE that the said girl has, as a choice for her boyfriend.

Whether guys flirt with her, or actually get to know her in a dating-type aura, or guys that SHE has interest in...it's rare for the girl to have that said guy that is (or was) her boyfriend as her only male choice she ever had at that moment.

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So my question is, ladies...out of the guys you liked, or were "talking to", or "dating", or expressed interest in YOU, at the time you were getting to you know you current / previous boyfriend before you made it official...

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...what made you choose your current/previous boyfriend, and thus turn down ALL those other "guy-options" you had?

What did your current/previous boyfriend do, or not do...say or not say, that made him the "choice" you made out of all the "guy-options" mentioned above?

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Reply as much as you like. I had no problem being lengthy so you can answer in a lengthy fashion as well if you want.

It's only fair, right? :-P

Thank you for answering. :-D

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P.S. Guys can input as well if they so choose


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I really like aggressive, "go-for-it" kind of guys. Straight-up, honest, and to-the-point.

    Most guys shy away, beat around the bush, and I guess, try to take it slow. I suppose it's become a common belief that girls like guys who respect their space and don't try to jump into things right away.

    I was surrounded by a few guys potentially interested in me when I started dating my boyfriend, but there was really only one big difference, and that was that none of these other guys ever made it very clear they were interested in me. They never really went for me.

    My boyfriend met me on a Wednesday. He got to know me the next two days, and he really made an effort to get to know me. We met because we worked together (I had just moved into town) and he would show me the ropes, and while doing so, was super friendly and made me so comfortable being there. That Saturday, after a shift together, he asked me what I was doing for break, and I said I wanted to eat but didn't know anywhere good nearby (I don't eat fast food). So he offered to take me out to eat, and we went out. I went unassuming, thinking he was just being friendly. But when he paid, I sort of took it as a hint, and on the way back, I realized that I was becoming attracted to him without even realizing it. He had shown an interest in being my friend first, and through that, I found that I really loved being around him. He gave me his number that night, and we hung out a couple days later, and soon, we were officially dating.

    I guess my point is this. My boyfriend later told me that the second he saw me, he knew I looked interesting and that I was worth getting to know. And once he'd talked to me, he knew he wanted the chance to date me. He explanation was, "So I did." There was no question about whether or not he'd have me.

    He was entirely confident, direct, and it just completely caught me off guard. He was polite and foreward at the same time, and it was very much like being "swept off my feet" in a contemporary way. He just made a great first impression, and it hasn't faded.

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What Girls Said 14

  • I usually have a lot of guys chasing me, straight and honest, no cockiness intended. I don't usually take it to heart. I usually treat it like flattery. I do have guys that profusely tell me I'm different or that they don't usually feel 'so close to', who seem to genuinely feel that way, but I feel like every guy has their type and they just see me as their genuine type.

    BECAUSE of this, it's been hard to accept a guy to be 'genuinely' into me. I got tired of being put on a pedestal. And as a result, of this and other variables, I'm not sure if the word persay...is commitment-phobe...but that I feared that commitment was near impossible...and constantly waited for it to 'feel' right. I got tired of the hyped romance and just skipped it altogether by staying away from guys, feeling that 'it was all bs' or 'never really lasted in the end'. It's kind of...mixed...I was always...a skeptical romantic...oxymoron that it may be. I WANTED to commit, but wasn't sure wanted the mess again or whether it ever would have a point. Finally, I decided...maybe I was...colder than I'd let myself admit...and even then, the 'best guys' seemed like they'd be decent for a few years of enjoyable time passing at best, and that I'd deal with the 'inevitable' heartbreak later and just...more or less 'settle' for someone I could at least enjoy.

    My guard was down, and I ended up swept away and then...4 months in, I came back down and was tired of it. I broke up with him...and he continued to fight for it to work, and his persistance pushed me back...into now a much shakier version of the relationship. We carried that out or a year, with me having a romantic ideal now and again that it might work out. Ahem. After a year of a BUNCH of bs on both ends, I called it off.

    Somewhere during a break, I'd tried a dating site, PoF, and met a guy but wasn't really invested in dating the first time around, or into the guy I'd decide to date prior. After a few months of being split, I decided to go back to the site and take another go. A more genuinely willing one...and a more open one. My plan, I'd decided, was to accept many dates, and talk to many, so I could spend time IN person and experience first hand how I felt. I talked to many...most of whom bored me, didn't interest me, or didn't make me feel like we had genuine comfort and compatibility. I'd only gone on two dates, both of whom knew openly I wasn't planning to get exclusive quickly, nor sleep around, when Jeremy asked me out. I turned him down because I had a second date lined up with someone, and despite openly dating, I didn't want to commit to a new date when I had a second one planned...just on the off chance that I ended up canceling. He understood and we continued talking. I really liked him, and kind of started hoping the other date didn't exist...but I wasn't about to cancel it for some guy I didn't even 'really know'. Anywho, the other guy ended up having to cancel, and I wasn't the least bit fussed.

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    • Jeremy asked me how things went on the date and I told him they'd cancelled. He asked if I was upset about it and I laughed and told him no, since I wasn't. Maybe...an hour later...he asked if I'd be interested then...in grabbing lunch the next day. I don't know why but I found it incredibly attractive that he saw getting a date from me as an opportunity that he had to move on quickly. Of course I said yes, and between our already easy going (continued, yes more)

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    • Well, because through talking with him I felt like he already 'got me'. I felt like we were on the same page and I could be myself. Not because he did anything 'special', outside of just being himself and how who he was...was someone who understood the same things I did. I didn't feel like he was trying to impress me, I felt like he was showing me himself, and I felt like who he was...was entirely compatible to who I was. Nothing 'different' except 'genuine compatibility' already existing.

    • I did read every word of your answer, Ash. ;-)

  • Out of all the guys he never flirted with me. I'm usually intimidated by flirting so that helped. Also he was, and still is to this very day, THE nicest guy I have EVER had the pleasure of knowing. He is also very mature despite his goofy nature. He is passionate about life and very creative.

    Also, I have this rule that I won't date a person if I can think of three reasons why we would end up breaking up. With all the other guys I could easily come up with 3 really fast and they be really good reasons. In fours years of liking him and not dating I could only think of none. :)

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    • Same. I usually won't go in if there are reasons it feels like it won't work. It's great, not having to 'let go of' or overlook things.

    • Its really is amazing! Its also a really great way to prevent from braking a friendship/someone's heart.

  • Okay so, all of my previous boyfriends and me got along really well BEFORE we dated but after the first fight they would bail on me. So as for guys "choices" the ones I chose weren't the greatest as I was soon to discover. Then I met my current boyfriend, he never thought differently of me (no matter what mood I was in) and was ALWAYS caring, understanding and willing to work through things with me and make some compromises (which so was I) and he went from not only a good choice but the the only man I want to be with the rest of my life.

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  • good question!... well, to put it simply...

    most guys begin to disgust me after a certatain point of knowing them. but after a while of knowing (my now boyfriend of 8 months) thomas, I realized that he didn't do that. in fact I even liked some of his "flaws". so after I came to understand that I actually enjoyed this guys company more than I had any others, I agreed to dating him. and now I'm in love! so it kind of just happened. I didn't exactly "pick him", I just made a choice to let myself fall in love

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  • I feel that I'd test them all for a while.

    Who shows the most interest? Who do I find myself thinking about more? Who has the best chemistry? Who am I growing more comfortable with? Who seems to be offering a promising relationship? Who am I more compatible with? Do his strengths and weaknesses compliment mine?

    Is he cute? ;)

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  • I chose my boyfriend out of all the other suitors because I found him to be the most handsome, humble, down to earth, intelligent, health conscience and funny guy.

    He's not afraid to just be himself and I have never known a man as affectionate, loving and kind as him. He's the type that I can kick back and watch cartoons with but at the same time he takes a serious approach to life when needed.

    He makes all the other guys look like boys to me.

    hope that helped :)

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    • Interesting ...him being health conscious was a factor over the other suitors?

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    • he sounds like a good dude 8-)

  • He was only a friend when we began to hang out.. Or so I thought I'm still not 100% on when we became a couple but he took out the competition on his own... Either making a date I had planned with another into a group day and sneaking me off. He always made and effort to be my rock and also not sugar coating anything.. I am a bluntly honest person so I appreciate it most get offended. But it was mostly love at 30th sight when all of the sudden it hit me.

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  • He is/was a friend of my sister's and my sister had a house party at my parent's house. At the end of the night, I was upstairs and my sister came up saying that her guy friend thinks I'm cute and that he asked her if I would go out with him. I said I would and then she gave me his number.

    I guess he was too shy to ask me himself. But whatever. I'm still with him to this day. It will be 3 years next Wed.

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  • I choose guys that I can possibly see myself self in the long run with. He has to have potential.

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  • um well I like the outgoing, confident,athletic guys instead of the quiet shy guys... I guess I like the other guys better because they aren't shy to be themselves

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  • he is the most persistent.

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  • I chose my boyfriend over my options because he likes going out/ going to parties, he likes watching movies with me and he has a big d!ck. not to mention I find him rather attractive.

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    • did you have sex with him before you made it official with him?

    • Yeah we started hooking up right after we started talking and it just worked out that we wanted to get serious at the same time.

  • In a nutshell, he's just more compatible with me than everyone else (personality, values, opinions, interests). And he wasn't in any rush to "lock me down," so we had lots of time to get to know each other (otherwise I wouldn't have known we're so compatible).

    One factor of that compatibility that reeeeally made me like him so much was that he doesn't "drink the Kool-Aid" about how guys should act around girls. He was open with me from the start and just went with the flow, didn't play games or try to force anything. That kind of makes him sound like this super confident suave guy which he is NOT at all, haha. That's another reason I liked him so much. He's human but doesn't have a complex about the traits that make him not "fit in" as much as everyone else.

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  • I don't have a boyfriend, but there is one guy I am interested in to fill that position. Out of all the other guys in my life (hook up buddies, friends, etc), the one big factor is probably whether they want the same thing as me or not. I would consider other guys to be a boyfriend, but most of them aren't looking for that, so I don't bother trying to get to know them in that way or start liking them. I keep them at arms length and avoid getting to know them well enough that I start liking them, especially with hook ups. Another factor of course is that his personality is the exact type that I love- confident, no bullsh*t, very outgoing. And he's also more attractive :)

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What Guys Said 0

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