I started talking to this guy I've met online in November. we have been messaging back and forth pretty much every single day. until we met up for the first time in December. we decided on doing some Christmas shopping and we grabbed lunch together. he asked for the check and I instantly reached... Show More
Most Helpful Guy
Well I won't completely disagree with you that things might have appeared to move a bit slow. I know if I had been in his shoes, it would have been obvious that we had something going on and I would have moved a bit faster.
That being said, 3 months is not a super long time, especially considering the circumstances. You only met in person a month ago and it seems to me you haven't met in person much since then.
First of all you have to understand how guys work. Generally speaking, we move slower than you, when we want something serious that is. We like to take the time to really get to know the girl and build a friendship. This can takes months. The girls on the other hand get bored. Girls get that quick spark right when they meet someone and it fizzles out really quickly if nothing happens right away. So on a male timeline, he was right on pace.
Also, you have to understand that guys are less capable at leading virtual relationships than women. We're not the communicators that women are. In the past, before cell phones and the internet. You had to meet someone in person to talk to them and interact. You couldn't text them every day you were apart in order to continue to progress a relationship. This has forced people to expect a much quicker speed in the pace of their relationship. What used to take months to figure out, now can take a matter of days because we can text all day, every day, with each other. Women have taken hold of this technological boom in terms of relationships, more than men have. Again, it has to do with the difference between genders as it relates to their innate need to communicate. Men don't bond through communication, we bond through physical touch and close proximity. So in a situation like yours, the guy is going to put the relationship on pause until he sees you again, because texting in his eyes, is not an ample medium to build a relationship on. For you that communication over text progresses the relationship, for him it doesn't. Just like, if the two of you were always together, cuddling, holding hands, sitting next to each other, and hooking up, even if you weren't saying a word to each other, he'll feel like the relationship is progressing but you won't.
At the end of the day, I'm not standing in your shoes and there is something to be said for your intuition and feeling like things were at a standstill. I just wanted to give you some food for thought so if not now, for the future, you can have a better understanding how both genders communicate and gauge the progress of a relationship.