Texts regularly, but won't initiate another date...is it worth it?

Is it worth it to keep communicating with a guy who continues to text you every other day or so, but does not initiate another date? It's been almost a month since we last saw each other.

He and I met on online dating site in November, but we live an hour apart. I know the distance is a challenge, and we're both busy people. I wouldn't mind this if it's just a friendship thing, but we've already done romantic stuff and been on dates. I'm not crazy about him, but he is still a potential and I do like him...but if he's not initiating dates, then I don't see the point. (I initiated the previous date, fyi)

What would you guys do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop texting till he calls you to meet up.


What Guys Said 8

  • Honestly, if he isn't making enough of an effort, you need to talk to him about it. Come right out and ask him: "Is this going anywhere, because you don't seem to be interested in actually dating?" Based on the answer to that question, you can make your decision. Maybe he has a legit issue, or maybe he's just keeping you as a backup. You *should* find out which it is.

    IMO, if you don't have a future, then there isn't much point in putting a lot of effort into this. Especially since the distance makes real contact that much more difficult. You could be moving on to someone local, and someone more interested.

  • I'd hang in there if I liked the person and the date went well.

    An hour may not seem like much, but that's two hours, round trip, at least, and people can get too busy to spare the time...

    pretty much a whole day for a date, right, including travel time, resting from all the driving. .

  • I think he just wants to settle with friendship for now. Perhaps after the dates he'd done with you, he didn't see the "spark" he's looking for.

    If I were you, why not just respond to his friendly advances? I'm sure you can do with that.

    • Yes, that's true...and I think it's also 'cause I wouldn't have sex with him, lol. If that's the "spark" he wanted, then I'll gladly keep the distance. And yes, I'm still talking to him in a friendly manner. But, perhaps romance will hafta be put on hold for now. Thanks for the reply!

  • Stop texting...disappear forever..Period

  • He is just keeping you on the back burner. It doesn't look like it has potential so I would cut my losses and move on. You don't like him that much anyways.

  • I think he's still interested in you. Guys don't waste their time if they're not interested. I heard from several girls that guys that are not into them stop texting them after the first few dates. If he still continue to text is a good indicator that he still has interested unless he's really bored. I doubt that though.

    • Of course he's interested - in getting in my pants. He won't call or make another date, though, and is not much for conversation via text, so I'm probably gonna ignore him for a few days and see what happens.

  • If he isn't making any effort or very little to make another date then you should NOT talk to him about it. Move on as you would not want to put a gun to someone's head to make them date you. You would rather him want it. Find another guy.

    • True that. I don't wanna confront him about it, 'cause if I have to do that then it already means he's not that interested. In the beginning, on our first two dates, he was SUPER eager to meet. Was making future plans DURING dates even. But then after that it petered off, and now we're just casually texting. I don't have time for those games, so I'm just not gonna reply to his texts anymore. Thanks for the reply!

    • You are welcome. I know you will find a guy that has "staying power" with you

What Girls Said 4

  • Honestly, here is what I would do...

    Start a conversation. Ask how he is to make sure I'm not being selfish and he's not just having a hard time or busy or whatever. Then flat out say "So...I guess it's safe to say you're just not all that into me? I'm just asking because you don't really make much of an effort. I'd like to know so I can move on with my life" something like that. Just be bold. You're an adult at this point so you are at the age where you should be able to have this kind of conversation openly and honestly.

    • Cool idea. (And I HAVE been bold.)

      I'll consider it.

  • Maybe he feel like the dating period is over with. I would ask him what is he looking for... I mean, don't give up so soon, he might want to be with you but is too afraid to go that route because of the distance. Bottom line is, have a talk with him before you leave.

  • I think you should let him go. He's not into you romantically. A guy who really liked you would be doing whatever it takes to spend time with you. Text him if you want, but remember this is friends only.

    • Yes, I agree. I think I'll start ignoring his texts, 'cause this is a waste of my time. He's an hour away and doesn't ask me out anymore, so I think he's pretty much stringing me along. My guy friends don't act this way, so I think I'm gonna let him go like you suggested, unless he starts shaping up SOON. Thanks!

  • Its such a waste of time. Like two years ago I was texting this guy and he told me oh how cute I am etc.. we never met up. And just about a week ago I got a text from an unknown number, I usually delete numbers within two weeks if I don't hear from them. So it was that guy from two years ago - and he asked me will we ever meet up - and I'm like no - you never asked me out so what do you think? Didn't hear back yet but some guys do that kinda stuff. I mean I'm pretty nice - I'll meet up with you for coffee or whatever but if you want something just ask... same for girls... if there is a guy I like I will make it clear - its up to them though :)

    • Wow, that's so lame! He was definitely using you as backup. Glad you told him off. And yes, this seems like a big waste of time, especially when all he really says to me is "whats up" and whatnot. Thanks!

    • Right? lol - I truly believe in if he wants you he will make it happen. Especially when I'm talking to the guy - "hello" - when I talk to a guy it means I'm interested so just go ahead and ASK... boys... men... lol