Why would she want to know if I am mad?

My ex and I broke up a little over a month ago and since then she is dating someone new. From time to time she sends me a text message asking how I am and how is my family. I try not to talk to her because I am still kinda mad on how fast she is dating someone new, especially when she told me she didn't want anything right now. Another thing that bothers me is how she is always posting pictures on Facebook with her new guy knowing that I will see them and get mad. So yesterday she texted me saying that she wanted to see me to give me back a shirt I left at her house while we were dating. First thing why the sudden interest in giving this back to me, she was even willing to go to my house. I told her that I couldn't because I had work and then she said...Are you mad with me?

Why would she ask that?! Doesn't she know the answer? She left me, she is dating someone new after a month! What is happening?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Thing to know about girls is that we HATE being on the bad side of guys; the feeling that they may be mad at us can drive us crazy. I think she probably has thought that for a while and knew the correct answer but didn't want to face reality by asking. As for the random here and there texts, she probably genuinely still wants to be friends. I'm not giving her slack or reason (because saying you don't wanna be with someone and then dating again a month later is kinda low) but maybe she actually did meet another guy whom she liked again, or he's a complete rebound. More than likely the second only because of the time frame and she was probably missing the feeling of having a relationship. Just be honest with her and try not to show your anger too much when you do so, even though that'll be tough. Sometimes you gotta hit girls with the cold hard truth no matter how much it may hurt us just for us to realize certain things.

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What Girls Said 4

  • She is messing with you and probably doesn't know what she wants, herself. I'd say try to limit contact with her if you can. Keeping in contact with her like this doesn't seem to be benefiting anyone here.

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  • Apparently she doesn't know, if she would know she wouldn't have asked you. Just tell her the truth, then she knows how you feel and understands your behavior and how you act.

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  • sounds like she's a little smug about moving on before you and she really wants you to see how "well" it's going for her, why else be in your ex's face - unless you want him back. Tell her to keep the shirt that it's not important to you, tell her you're not mad at her but a little puzzled as to why she continues to contact you, you'd prefer if she stayed away and deleted your number (if that's how you feel).

    honestly, unless you were together a very long time and knew one another's families' quite intimately etc then why the hell does she care - you're nothing to do with each other anymore. Also what would her new man think about her texting you all the time - you're not mad, you're okay but you ARE the ex so she should just let it be otherwise she wants you back.

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  • It seems like she's been playing with your emotion. To stir up the old feelings or triggers your anger.

    Just ignore her and cut all the communications if necessary.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Sorry dude. It sounds like, at the end, she was nowhere near as invested in the relationship as you were, and you unfortunately have to live with the consequences of that after the fact. There are some people who "get off" on the idea that what they're doing might still be emotionally affecting somebody they broke up with. I dated a girl who was like this to her exes while she was dating me. I found it extremely obnoxious, but it was clear that she liked knowing/believing that they still liked her enough to be affected by her toying with them.

    In any case, lay things out for her. I recommend avoiding anything that's accusatory or confrontational; just tell her how it's going to be. You are entitled to that. Something like "I'm still upset about the way things ended, and I would rather you leave me alone right now. I hope we can rebuild our friendship some day, but I'm not ready for that. I'll let you know when that time comes," is perfectly fine.

    If she continues with this "are you still mad with me?" crap after that, then you're screwed ... as long as you're giving her the satisfaction of believing she can get to you, there's a good chance she's going to keep doing it. The only thing you can really do at that point is block her out of your life as well as you can.

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  • The guy she's dating is a rebound. She didn't want to be with you anymore, but at the same time she still wants to know if you still feel for her. The reasons could be in what other commenters said, but you don't know, and only her knows. Problem is, asking her won't necessarily give you true answers.



    She might also feel the need to find an excuse to be angry at you, to legitimate her acts retroactively, if she did really bad things to you and jumped on another guy very fast.

    Well anyway, as the others said, tell her that you'd prefer she didn't contact you in the near future, that friendship isn't an option at the moment, well you know, all the BS women like to give us ;) and then stop replying.

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