To the Men: Been texting and flirting with a guy.......but he has a girlfriend of 2 years?

Hello, thanks for taking the time to read my conflict/problem/confusion.

In my college business class there's this guy I had a crush on for so long, and then in the last two months we've been talking a lot. A month later, we worked on a team project, and then exchanged phone numbers so we could text. The texts were really enjoyable, we discuss all sorts of different things, and lately they've been kind've flirtatious. He asked if I wanted to get coffee with him tomorrow so of course I said yes!

However, he has a girlfriend, and I found out they've been together for 2 whole years! So what should I do? Is he just using me as an escape from reality for a bit? Or does he really only see me as a friend? Does he want to cheat?

I'm confused as to what my angle should be...I really like him and don't want to get hurt :/ But why would he be flirtatious with me and text me several times a day when he has a girlfriend?

Thanks, all answers welcome!

Update! Well I had decided to go ahead and see if he sees me as a friend or more...and so I went to meet him at Starbucks and it was totally just fine, he didn't hit on me or anything. We laughed and had a lot of fun but I really don't get the cheating vibe from him at all.

So it looks like we will be just friends! Which is good, because I don't want him to cheat nor be the girl he's cheating with, but at the same time I like him more than that...I'll try to tone that down then lol


Most Helpful Guy

  • Men have no problems with polygamy. We can have a number one who is our official GF. But we can also have number 2, 3,... We just need to like the girl to sleep with her, we don't need to be in love. For this guy cheating on GFs might not be a biggie, he's done it before, and he's probably not going to leave his GF. You like him, that's OK. But be aware that if you play along you'd be partially responsible for the cheating on other woman. Think morally, if you were the GF, would you like your Boyfriend to cheat on you with some other woman?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • If you only want to be friends with this guy then keep with it, have coffee but don't go to movies or a meal with the guy. If you want to be more than friends then stay away because a guy with a long term girlfriend will either never want to be more than friends with you, or if he does then he'd be willing to cheat on you just as easy as it is to cheat on his girlfriend right now, it's a lose-lose.

    • Women never learn. If they are the one the guy cheated with, heaven. If they are the one the guy cheated on, the hell is on fire.

    • Exactly, I don't understand it at all, if I find a girl willing to cheat on her boyfriend for me, there is no way in hell I'd consider dating that woman because I'm smart enough to realize they will do the same for me, but if a girl finds a guy willing to cheat she assumes it's because she's special, I just don't get it.

  • Either just friends or he wants you as a girl on the side

  • If you're positive that he's got a girlfriend, then it's understandable if you feel weird about meeting up for coffee with this guy. Otherwise, it's just coffee, not anything official or anything.


What Girls Said 1

  • I've been 'talking' to a guy who has a girlfriend of one year and whose been having relationship issues. We text nonstop and get personal with questions as well. Flirty is our game. However, I would proceed with caution. His girlfriend might get jealous of you (like in my case), and then you might get friend zoned. He might just want to be friends, hanging out with a girl, not having to deal with relationship drama. After all, there is nothing wrong with having a best friend of the opposite gender! lol