Is it OK to have sex on the first date?

Ok I'm 21 and he's 20, so me and this guy met online (we have been webcam/texting for a week now) and have been teasing each other (sexually) like crazy and he just moved to my city for college. Should we hook up on our first date...We both really want to but I kind of want him all to myself (in a relationship)...and I don't want him to date any other woman...im so conflicted.

Updates:
Update: I decided not to see him because I realized that he was a shady guy and not worth my time. Long story short, I realized that I wasn't the only one he was 'skype sexting'

No regrets, because I didn't have sex with him. I have to admit if I did have sex with him I would have had feelings for him because I did like his personality a lot.

But hey, you when some you loose some, but at least I'm happy. Thanks everyone for your insight and those of you who didn't judge. I appreciate it.
Ok so we actually ended up handing out and everything turned out fine! ;) ;) I realize I don't like him as much as I thought! I'm very satisfied with my decision! No regrets ;)


Thanks everyone!
hanging*

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Most Helpful Guy

  • if you want a relationship I guess it is because he has giving you more than sexual attraction, he has let you see another part of him, and that is why you care, have you done the same? and has he seem like he gets those performance of personality you display? if, he like yourself, has seen more of you than the sexy part then yes, the problem is not "jumping" too soon, the problem is just working one area and the complaining "he oonly wants me for sex" so if you have charmed him in other ways, yes sex my be an strong urge, but very likely he also likes oter sides of you and then a relationship will happen even if you jump on him ASAP, but he also needs the right mindset, I know a lot of guys my age who will aspire to free sex as long as they can, and only getting into a relationship if they can not have that easy sex, is quite immature, but quite real, a guy might be like "I already can f* her, why would I invest in a relatonship?", but again, even if those guys want nothing but an easy f*, IF you are charming, you trully connect then even they will be like "maybe something more, this girl is rather special".

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    • Yes, you are right, he has. you make me realize that its OK for me to feel this way and that I should talk to him. Also, I realize that all guys think differently. If it happens I well let it but I definitely won't force it. I'll enjoy my time with him...

    • yes, not force it, go with the flow, just be carefull enough and whatever happens enjoy it and do be put down if it backfires, you are doing it with the right mindset and out of nice feelings, if he can not appreciate it it would be painful but NOT your fault, you can be satisfied with yourself :)

What Guys Said 19

  • Well, make the first date and see what he has in mind. ;-)

    If he starting to make a move on you, you can say "thank you, sweetie but maybe next time"

    then he knows, that you are into a serious relationship.

    but if you sleep with him on the first date, it doesn't mean for him, that there is not going to be a relationship.

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  • I think that's not a good idea. If you had it on the first date, attraction will wane quickly for him because he already got what he wanted.

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  • Maybe you should wait to meat the guy and get a little more serious because if you want a relationship then that's the way to go, if you wanna a one night stand than it's OK for you to have sex on the first date ! Your choice!

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  • If you want to come off as easy yes. But if you want to have more value to your name and body then no.

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  • I would have a few dates without sex to get to know each other if you really want him to be your boyfriend. Have you talked to him about a relationship though?

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    • no, but I've mentioned to him that I don't just want sex and he agreed that he would like someone to hangout with and possibly a relationship in the future.

    • I get it. You want the sex now (understandable) but you want it to head toward a relationship. It sounds like he's not sure if he wants a relationship and probably wants to get to know you better before he's sure. So if you wait till your in a relationship with him to have sex you can be sure you won't just be having sex or you can have sex now although he may not want the relationship ultimately.

  • If people want to do it that's okay. I wouldn't though.

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  • Once you do, the relation isn't going to last very long. You might even have a lovely little baby you can't take care of.

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  • Yes

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  • Having sex on a first date throws up a red flag saying that you are easy. This makes you a fun sex partner but not someone most men would decide to have a relationship with.

    good luck

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  • sure.

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  • if you give it up too easy and too soon, he won't take you seriously. he might even dart off once he got what he wanted.

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  • well your choice, women do the choosing apparently

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  • thats good what made you realize that you don't like him

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    • because he didn't come off as sweet genuine as he did in his texts (go figure). And he seemed to be too interested in sex. Overall, I feel like he's a little too immature. :-/ That wasn't at all what I wanted...

  • Yes go for it if you want to.

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  • i did it with a girl I met online and we ended up being together and everything worked out

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  • I think you should go for it. I don't think it's going to end well, but that's okay.

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  • I suppose it depends on the guy. I would think no less of you but all guys are not like that.

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  • Not if you want a relationship

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  • I think sex should be before the 1st date. That way I know if we're going to a nice restaurant or Mcds.

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What Girls Said 5

  • You barely know him, texting and talking to some one for a week is nothing. I seriously would not have sex with a man until he has proven he is worthy of you. Def should never have sex on a first, second, third, fourth date... Especially if its all in under a month. WAY too soon. Have some self respect and restrain, it'll get you farther.

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    • actually I have self respect, speak for yourself.

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    • Uh.. until the 4th date? wow that's a lot of money.

    • my husband waited 8 years. so you tell me how much money that is. lol.

  • Okay see it didn't work out well like you said you win some you lose some but back to your initial question...If you really like someone it's okay to have sex with someone on a first date. But only if you really like him and your pretty sure he really likes you too

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  • In all honesty, I think you'd be making yourself look extremely easy. Most guys won't take a girl seriously after she spreads her legs without making him work for it. Just being honest!

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  • No

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  • I don't think there's anything objectively wrong with it, it just depends on the people involved. It also doesn't mean he's just going to f*** you and forget you; some guys would, some guys wouldn't. It's a good idea to talk to him about it, and above all, just be safe :)

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    • Thank you, yeah I spoke to him about it, and he made me feel a lot better. He said there was no pressure...and that it is all up to me...it makes me like him even more...

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