Do guys try to date you without officially dating?

Hi - I've known a guy for about a year and we've become friends, and he seems fairly interested in me, but there's also signs I might just be a friend. We've hung out, but he told me the last time that he'd been talking to a girl who lives a few hours away. I didn't think a guy who is interested will talk about other girls. He described her as plain, but sweet, and said he didn't know whether or not anything will work out but she's very nice. He always asks if I'm seeing anyone or talking to anyone, almost every time he brings it up somehow. So I figure he wouldn't care what my status was if we were just friends. But, he usually only texts, usually that's not a good sign of a guy who's interested in dating. Last time, after we met up and had a great time, we were texting when we each got home and I told him that I was taking a short trip in March and to let me know how things turned out with the girl, that if no one was attached, he should come with me. I typically don't initiate meet ups, but took a chance. He said he definitely will (will let me know or will go I have no idea) and then asked what dates I was considering for the trip. I haven't known him to be a player. He was going skiing the next weekend and told me twice he was going solo. Can I assume he's not all that interested in the other girl if he's considering a trip with me? He often tries to get together, texts me first, tells me he hates dating but likes being in a relationship, compliments me, good body language, touches my arm a lot when he's talking, and I know for a fact he's attracted to me. He also pays every time we meet up and opens car doors and such. He's a good guy in general, but sometimes it seems like date behavior. But nothing really progresses. Do some guys try to date girls who have been a friend without calling it dating or verbally committing to trying to date? Or is it possible he's keeping me around as an option? I'm starting to develop feelings and don't want to get hurt.


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What Guys Said 1

  • he's obviously interested in you, and since you gave him the in ( come with you on the trip) I'm not sure why he hasn't progressed. but then again I'm much younger and apparently the older you get the deeper rejections hit. in my opinion you should just make the first move without being overly forward.

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    • Thanks for the reply. He was married and she cheated, so maybe there's a little bit of that playing into it. All the girls he said he's dated are long distance and it never works out for long. He could be putting up wall. I'm not the type to push a guy, I'm not clingy. But maybe I should be sure to give him a few more opportunities and see what he does.

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