Girls, don't know what to make of this girl, help me out please.

We went on our first date, everything was great, I know she was really into me. We talked for a few days after and after about 5 days she stopped replying. I was angry at first but then stopped caring because I knew I hadn't done anything to drive her away.

Fast forward a week, I was like wtf, I want an honest answer as to why she disappeared so I sent her a message saying it would be nice to know what happened. Surprisingly she replied, sincerely apologizing saying she's been working a lot because she's just been promoted and recently she's been sick. She also said she hasn't been intentionally avoiding me and that I've been on her mind. We talked a bit and she said she's off work this whole week and to let her know when we can hang out. Yesterday I told her Wednesday is good for me and several hours ago I texted her for her address. A few hour later she replied: "So sorry for the late reply, I've been at work dealing with an emergeny shipment. I don't think I can go tomorrow, I'm terribly sick with the flu and can barely talk. You can hate me though :/ " I have a feeling she's basically saying good bye, she's not interested anymore. What do you girls think? That's for reading this!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Too bad you have to go through this. We're always hoping to go out with people who are honest and sincere but it seems like things get messed up anyway. Don't give up though, say what you feel when you want to communicate with people you want to be with. But is this someone you want to be with after all? I understand that you really like her but she's not responding in the way that you would like her to. So wouldn't you rather be with a girl who is just as eager to be with you? Who looks forward to seeing you like crazy? This girl sounds really busy and it probably gets nuts when you get a promotion etc etc. My opinion is that when you care about someone you fin time to see them, simple as that. But things are not just black or white! I have certain friends who love me to bits but who are spacey and can't juggle too much at once and just focus on work and seem to ignore me. I've confronted them but they insisted that it is just pressure from work and that of course they care. Heck the guy I have something going on with, who can't stop showing me and telling me how much he cares, he actually said he's too lazy to get up and come meet me a few blocks away. I know he cares and that he's a good person but I can't go with that. I can't allow myself to be with someone who has different priorities in life. So I agreed to go out with someone else who makes an effort to see me and is happy to do so and franly so am I but we shall see! So don't take it personally, instead take it easy and realize that it doesn't matter whether she's truly busy or justwants to be friends: the only thing that matters is the fact that she can't make time for you and life is too short, you gotta find someone else to enjoy it with cos everyday is unique and should be enjoyed! Give her space, focus on your hobbies and on spending time with other people and don't text her too much I mean I would give her one more chance but that's it. I'm not saying that in the sense of "playing it cool" I actually mean be cool and let someone else make you happy. YOU! And your friends:) aaaand that other girl you've sorta vaguely thought of asking out ha ha Someone out tere will be so grateful to spend time with u!:)

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    • Wise words Aphro, thanks! I agree, if someone really likes you, they'll make time for you no matter how busy they are. Part of me does feel like she's wasting my time and isn't really eager to see me. And it is important to be with someone who wants to spend time with you, things flow easily. I might text her in a few days to see how she's feeling and from there gauge her interest but I've already lost much interest myself. Thanks again for the advice and kind words, definitely helped :)

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    • Yea I might just text her to make sure she's definitely not interested, at this point I don't care what she thinks of me. In no way did I take any of this personally. I'll be the first to admit if I messed things up with a girl but I know I'd did nothing to drive her away, she's got things to deal with and if she doesn't want to see me then I'm not interested. Thank you for all the kind and wise words :)

    • It's great that you see the true, positive side of things because, in the end, why bother if she's not in the same place as you, it's timing and chemistry I'd say! Still though it's only decent to reply to people, I wonder why it's become alright not to. Just maintain this great attitude because it rubs off on people! You're very welcome, I'm glad I helped out a bit:-)

What Girls Said 6

  • It's hard to tell, she could actually be sick, but one on hand would she be working if she was sick? Every girl is different. Some girls pull stuff like that to nicely say they're not interested, while others actually get stuck in situations like that. Maybe text her and say "it's okay, just text me when you're feeling better and down to chill." then the balls in her court and if she never replies, at least you tried, and if she does, great! :) That's just my advice. Hope everything works out.

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  • It could be that she does like you but she's busy, from my point of view. I'm kind of going through something almost similar with a guy...the you can hate me part seems as if she's saying that because she feels sad for having to get you waiting so long.

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  • shes got stuff going on, wether she's being honest about what it is or not, I can't tell. but she clearly likes you or she wouldn't say anything

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    • Thanks for the answer! I want to believe she likes me but I don't want it to turn out that she's stringing me along.

    • yeah I have no idea what she is doing. but she seems to have feelings for you at least

  • that comment of hers "you can hate me though" is so stupid - sounds to me like she is not that interested. first I thought there might be hope because she did get back at you and apologized but that comment of hers was unnecessary. I wouldn't take her too serious - just check in her with "hey - hope you are well" and see if she gets back at you here and there but she does seem like a waste of time. on to the next lol :)

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    • That's exactly how I took it, it was a really dumb thing to say. I might just text her in a few days and see how she's feeling and from that response (if she replies) see if she's interested. Thanks for the answer!

  • She's too busy to have a social life and she did like you

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    • Thanks for the answer :) This girl was a mess, she was dating her ex boyfriend the whole time and got engaged shortly after we stopped talking lol

  • if she has had a promotion she could be making herself ill by trying to prove that she was right to get the promotion just hang in there be patient as it seems she has a lot on her plate

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What Guys Said 4

  • can't say I'm a girl, but I'd like to provide a guys perspective. To me, she sounds like a waste of your time. If all she will do is turn you down, then you should forget about her and move one. However, that means keep her as a friend. If she says hi, say hi back that way your keeping yourself on her "dating list".

    I suggest you start talking to more girls. If she likes you, she'll come around.

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    • Haha thanks man, I appreciate the advice and understand where you're coming from, I do feel like she's wasting my time.

  • From my experiences, if a girl is really into you, she will make time and won't leave you hanging like that. If I had to guess, I would say she is one of those girls that is too cowardly to reject a guy so they just keep flaking and gradually break off contact. I could be wrong, but that's how these situations have always turned out for me. If I were you, I'd just giver her space. If she's interested, she'll come to you.

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  • Reassure her she's worth the wait, and thank her for replying, tell her is a cute trait she possess

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    • Thank her?! Tell her she's cute?!?! How about we start telling people what bothers us and what doesn't because such passive responses and trying to act like it is no big deal only fuel casual behavior . It's hard enough making sense of what we say and mean so why complicate things by pretending even more?!

    • try to compromise, if its worth it.

  • She's not interested.

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