Sadly I trust your guys opinions a lot more then my real world friends, as they just make me start thinking paranoid. So here it goes.
Me and my girlfriend were dating for almost 3 years, we never fought, always got along, it honesty it was a blast. But she broke up with me about a week ago because she said she has fallen out of love with me and doesn't want to continue this as it will hurt me more later on. I was/am very hurt, but her logic was sound and seemed almost noble to me. But then, she starting dating this guy openly yesterday, not 5 days after our break-up. Now my friends are completely trying to convince me that she had to have been cheating on me and that I am just in denial, which I may be. So please, would love your guys opinions on this as I am just at a loss for words and my brain just isn't functioning like it used to atm.
- She met him afterwardsVote A
- She was cheatingVote B
Most Helpful Guy
Friends many times don't want to understand your current feelings, otherwise they would not talk like that. Quite objectively, I think she had a thing for the guy when you guys were breaking up, but probably nothing happened until then. If it calms you down, that guy is a poor sab who won't have her completely ever. Many times such things are just a rebound and don't last. If you are able make your mind work now over your heart then you will learn a lesson almost every guy has to learn these days, it is an emotional lesson. It happened to strengthen you. Don't miss out on months later to come regret from your ex, but most probably not to get together again (even though that is your biggest secret wish)- It will be actually because she misses that real love you gave her and she gave you, but it was way too tiny against the romantic notion and the "world image of love" itself. Both of you lack something, and once filled in a life phase more you might not want her anymore and otherwise.Also it will be because she sees love as an emotional state alone to fall in or out of love. Basically there is nothing in and out of love. It is just romance which ends and starts again. Love my dear friend is a total different ball game, where romance becomes a sided robin hood in batmans battle of love. It is a battle with yourself, believe it or not. The stronger you are, the better versions of your Ex you will find one day and keep. Balance first.
Why I say this about the emotional state of girls, because they are the ones most probably jump into the next relationship, as its much tougher for them to get out of love in the emotional sense and they deal with this fact much better than boys. Its like they never got out of "love". At least that's how this lie to themselves and so do we guys in our own ways. But that only a free will can change for itself, you can't bend characters and upbringings.
For your own sake and your feelings to be balanced again, keep no contact with your ex for a while. Best only after you dated a girl and felt good about it. May take months or even years, up to you.
Maybe you just loved that image of you two being together and also keeping a nice picture, instead of understanding yourself first and ask whether you were the best confident, happy with yourself. As a guy your Ego is hurt like crazy, how could she do this? Well I just told you, its not that they are evil. Its utter insecurity, and every human their own pace towards evolving. And maybe changing from you to someone else is also part of evolving, but this current state is not sustainable. You definitely have to evolve now and become a real man..most guys never do-
Dont demonize her, just let her be on her own. And you are on your own, and now is the time to strengthen your inner self bro and not get carried away with emotions alone.
Become now what you always wanted to become, work out, meditate and get out there to meet people and not to talk about your ex, but to think about u2