Friends with benefits gone wrong

I've been going on dates with guy for about five months. At first I liked him as a friend because I felt like we vibe well and always have a good time together. About a month after dating him and on our.third date we went to second base. I kinda freaked out and backed away because I felt bad for moving so soon and I didn't want him to start liking me just for sex. A few weeks later though, we started going.on dates again and eventually we had sex. Then he backed away. Because he backed away, I didn't talk to him or contact him and started going on dates with other guys. While I was dating other guys, I just was not into them. So when the Guy I was previously dating convinced me to give him another try, I was all for it. We went on more dates, he took me to his friends parties, and we had sex a second time. After a while, I started to develop feeling for him. Scared that I might be stuck in the friends with benefits zone, one night I drunkenly texted him that I really liked him. He did not respond until the next day and when he did it was just a nonchalant, "ur scaring me. do you want to go to the game this weekend?" Not wanting to lose his friendship and embarrassed, I just dropped the subject. I started distracting myself by texting other guys. I haven't gone on a date with any of these other guys, but it feels good to not put so much focus on him, especially when he only texts me and never calls. I literally only try to call him like twice a week and when I do, he pushes the reject button on his phone and tells me he needs space. But if I don't contact him, he ends up contacting me. He tells me I'm his, but then he tells me I'm not his girlfriend and he's not my boyfriend. He teases me with the fact that he knows that I like him and uses it to hi advantage. He doesn't know that I text other guys. He just does whatever he wants and says I'm not.going anywhere. My friends think I'm crazy for dating him. I've been told that I'm very pretty, I have a nice shape, and I'm a doctor, so they think he's just using me. Should I date other guys? I don't want to feel like I'm deceiving him or these other guys, especially when I'm having sex with him. Should I back out of it for a while like I have in the past, or just let it go since he thinks he has me wrapped around his finger (which he does kinda)?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "He just does whatever he wants and says I'm not.going anywhere. "

    I literally only try to call him like twice a week and when I do, he pushes the reject button on his phone and tells me he needs space. "

    These two sentences told me everything I need to know about this guy and this relationship you have going. He's a jerk who is using you. By sticking around through that, you have basically said to him, "You're right, I am yours and I"m not going anywhere. Treat me bad, do whatever you want to me, this is the treatment I feel I deserve."

    Do you want to convey that message? Is that someone worthy of respect? You're a hot doctor, start acting like it!

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    • You are so right. Sometimes it takes someone else to put things into perspective and you have done just that. I guess I am doing myself a favor by having other prospects waiting while I was dealing with this jerk.

    • Absolutely you were. In fact I was going to applaud you on that fact. But even if you have no one else in the wings, I'd choose to be alone for a bit than continue to date that guy. It's one thing if you're not invested and kind of using him too (as long as there is still respect), but since you care, it's best to walk away. He will respect you more for it too.

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