I ask because I was watching Steve Harvey and he said
"Now I'm saying this to all the ladies. Ladies, when you
go out on a first date don't spend the time assessing if he's
the man of your dreams or not. Just go out and have a
good time. The worst that can happen is that you find
that your not right for each other,but at least you had a
good time" Now, that's not necessarily what he said exactly,
but something to that effect. Anyway, when he said that I
realized how right he was that women don't give men a
fair chance, they start nit picking at STUPID UNIMPORTANT
things the minute he walks through the door. Like, he's not buff
enough or his clothes aren't nice enough or (my personal favorite)
he's not tall enough! Now, this isn't to say that men don't do
the same thing. However, they're just not as obvious and vocal
about as women are.
I just want to state, that I'm not trying to criticize my own
gender, I'm just aware that both genders have flaws. Plus,
I find it hard to relate to women because I don't think the way
they do and it's because of my own insecurities in myself that
I give everyone a fair chance. I know that there's a lot of things
men look for in a woman that I probably don't posses, however if
a man was to give me a chance he may discover that for what I may
lack on his list of things he looks for in a woman. I make up for in
10 fold with other qualities he does want or qualities and other things
he may have not known he wanted. And, never would have had he not
given me a fair chance. That's all I try to do with guys, is give them all
a fair chance. Because if I don't I could potentially miss out on a really
great guy and the love and life I always wanted,that's why I don't weigh
myself down with all these stipulations and a huge list that no man could
ever reach. When you focus on the wrong things instead of searching for who
a person is deep down inside, you miss an opportunity to get to know a truly
beautiful and amazing person who would treat you right.That's just my opinion,
but to eachs own.
So, ladies do you give a guy a REAL fair chance on a first date?
(Men you can answer to if you like) Thanks!
Most Helpful Guy
The truth is that most people don't know how to date anymore. Heck, they don't even know what dating is FOR.
Dating is to allow you to get to know someone in a substantive way, and figuring out if the two of you are compatible for a long-term relationship. That means you need to have a lot of time to talk to each other, and find out what each others hopes, dreams, goals, and aspirations are. You have to find out about their family, their history, and what their values and morals are. You also need to get to know their personality, attitude, and temperament.
Yes, of course, dates should be fun, but a date isn't about going out to a fancy restaurant or club; it shouldn't be about impressing someone with money or status. Those things could be here today and gone tomorrow. What matters is the person underneath.
I tell guys all the time: don't spend money on a girl for the first 3 dates at least. Budget $20 or less per date. That's not because they want to be tightwads or stingy, but it forces them to be CREATIVE, and to find fun and interesting things to do that give the couple time to talk to each other and really get to know one-another. If you work out as a couple, there will be plenty of time for gifts and fancy restaurants, and they'll mean FAR more to the girl.
I used to make those mistakes; fancy, expensive dates trying to impress a girl, and looking back now, I think they just either felt I was trying way too hard, or that I was trying to "buy" them. It never helped the relationship.
Starting a dozen or so years ago, I started reading dating advice from other people, and I realized how stupid I had been. Since then, my dates have been things like walks, bike rides, picnics in the park, flying kites, renting a tiny sailboat, and even going to the gun range. They were much more personal and productive dates, but I was still apprehensive at first, because they seemed so non-traditional. Across the board, the girls told me they were fantastic dates, and a couple said they were the best dates they'd ever been on, because they were REAL.
If you want a girl to get to know the real you, and you to get to know the real her, try dating this way. It's far more honest, far more productive, and you get much better results.2