A while ago I was working with this girl who would say I was like her little sister at work. We'd make plans to hang out and she would manage to bail every time so I gave up. Back in November she told me that she was in love with another coworker of ours and that since he was now single for a few weeks she was going to go after him. About a week later she told me how they made out and the next night he totally bailed on her the next day and a "grogy" woman answered the phone a few mornings later when they had made plans to help her find a car.
Now I'm not usually the person she confides in and she only told me this story. It's also common for her to exaggerate things which makes me think that it's not totally true. I'm guessing more likely that she tried to make a move, he said he liked me, and she was trying to prevent me from "winning". She ended up transferring to another branch a few towns over more than a month ago. She texted me last week asking to hang out so I agreed. She ended up calling me the other night while I was out at dinner and I called back. She sounded really sad about us hanging out. So I'm guessing she knows already that he and I started dating but I feel like when we go to hang out I should be up front with her.
I was thinking about saying "I'm guessing you've probably heard the rumors but if not so&so and I have been dating since New Years. I didn't mean for it to happen but it did. We both really like each other and he's really respectful of me. I just thought you should hear it in person from me. I hope we can still be friends."
I'm really worried that she's going to freak out at me but it's not like I stole him since they weren't dating and he pursued me. Am I completely in the wrong for what I did? What kind of reaction should I expect from her since she usually exaggerates?
Most Helpful Guy
Dont bring it up. She might have forgotton about it by now. If you do mention it play dumb and say by the way we re dating. But don't mention the I hope we can stay friends part unless she acts negatively. But don't self incriminate yourself by saying that. Act like you did nothing wrong, which you didint. When people try to challenge you like that, just ignore them don't engage back. Because it'd immature and I'm sure your more mature than that. You can still be friends but don't further feed their competativeness by being competative back. Competition is good thing in many things like sports, buisness, etc. But the one place it doesn't belong is in dating or talking to men/women. Men aren't objects, so aren't women, they're people. Its not a game either nor is it a business, this is peoples feelings here. I unintentionally ruined a friendship between two girls. The one girl was a close friend who had feelings for me but I just liked her as friends but she was a close friend who I trusted. The second I had
Feelings for and we started dating. Well, a couple months later she broke up with me. The whole situation was a total loss for everyone. I lost someone who I had feelings for, a friend I really trusted, and they lost their friendship. A situation I did not ask to be put in. It wasn't about one being "better" than the other. I just had feelings for the other. It wasn't like one was more attractive or attracted me better. Love is not about persuasion for somebody to love you and people are "better" than other. Its you either have chemistry or you don't. So this is why its stupid and dangerous for girls to compete over a guy. Unless they're trying to sleep with a guy, well that might be different. But, no dating someone is not something you compete over.0
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