My best male friend and I are becoming increasingly close lately and we've both admitted having feelings for each other and would like to date. He knows about my past, I was gang r*ped and r*ped again a few years later, and he's always been supportive and a shoulder to cry on if and when I need him. I'm worried that if we become more than friends, things like intimacy will be a major problem. It was my first time when I was r*ped so I literally have no idea what I'm doing or what it's supposed to be like and I'm concerned that while he is supprtive now, when problems arise things will go wrong and I'll lose him.
The short of it is I'm worried to get close to him, I love him very much and I don't want to have to burden him with any of this. I feel like I already have. He's the kind of guy who finds it hard to show emotion and doesn't always understand the complexity of how I feel...I'm worried he won't be able to understand if I don't want cuddles or anything physical.
I know I'm probably jumping the gun but this is the first time I'll have dated and I want to be prepared :-)
Any help or any advice from anyone who's been in this sort of situation before would really help! Thank you so much :-)
Most Helpful Guy
I guess you need to be 100% upfront with him , Rape is a Hard thing to overcome, the fact that your Virginity was taken in a Violent act makes it more complex, but it doesn't have to end your ability to be passionate & Intamate with a man, as Long as he understands he needs to take it slow with you,
by the way most people don't know what they are doing or if they are doing it well the first few times they have sex. you learn from doing. practice makes perfect, the important thing is when you do decide to make love for the first time it should be with someone who cares about you & understands what you have already been through. I say give him a chance to show you you deserve to be loved. since your not a fortuine teller & neither am I the only way to know if he can handle all this is to give him a chance, I would surmise if you care enough about him to ask us here this question you care enough to give him a chance I say go for it & move slow , please let us know your progress someday down the line I hope you find the love you deserve, I also hope the guys who did this harm, to you gets what they deserve !0