Why do women care only about a man's looks?

I've always wondered this. Women usually date a man only if he's good looking, but men date a woman based on her personality and kind heart. We come across loads of couples where the man is really hot and the woman is average looking, but hardly any couples where the man is average and the woman is hot. I mean...there are exceptions, but this is generally the case. Why do women only want to date good looking men, whereas we men are OK with dating average looking women?

P.S. I have dated both good looking and average girls, but I really felt the best with average looking girls because I found them to be humble, kind and caring, as opposed to good looking girls who were really mean and arrogant. I myself am a reasonably good looking guy.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, I think it's the other way around. I very rarely see a hot guy with an average looking woman. I only ever see average guys or overweight guys with hot girls. I think most of the time you'll see a thin attractive girl with a really fat guy. I very rarely see a thin attractive guy with an obese girl.

    Personally for me, I usually avoid hot guys because I don't think I'll ever get a chance with them. I'm probably at the most average looking, maybe even below. I'm very thin, and I work out but my face isn't pretty. Hot guys intimidate me. But in the past, I've found hot men have been rude to me because I am not beautiful even when I try, and they are complete gentlemen with the beautiful girls.

    A good example is a few years ago. My best friend is gorgeous. She is one of the prettiest girls I know. We were hanging out with a few guys at a amusement park and they were bending over backwards to do things for her, and she was treating them like crap and demanding they do things for her. I was pretty much ignored even though I was very nice to them, and I was joking around with them, and having fun. We were going into the lobby of my apartment building at the end of the day, the one guy held the door open for her and then let it slam on me as I was about to walk through and I was right behind her. It wasn't that I want doors held open for me by guys, it's just that he held it for her, looked at me and let it slam and kind of gave me a look of indifference and I was right behind her. When I go through doors, I look behind me, and if I see a person coming guy or girl I hold it so they can grab it and walk in. I'm not going to let it slam.

    And then later we went to the bars, and they were all over her and dancing with her and they ignored me. I ended up going and hanging out with a few people I saw from my old school because I got sick of being treated like crap all day. I get that maybe they were probably trying to impress her so they could get into her pants, and they didn't want in mine but they could still have been nice to me. I had no expectations at all except a bit of respect.

    I'm always decent to men, hot or not. I was nothing except nice to those guys. When they were in my apartment, I made them their drinks and let them eat my food and everything, but they were mean to me. I even let them crash at my place at the end of the night when we left the bar. And I paid for full fare for the cab ride to my place because they had spent all their money.

    And the next morning, it was me who drove them home. And I didn't even get a thank you.

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What Girls Said 20

  • Why do women care only about a man's looks?

    That's illogical as it seems gals also care about a guy's wealth and status.

    Why do women only want to date good looking men, whereas we men are OK with dating average looking women?

    That's bullsh*t in my opinion because if guys were okay with dating average looking gals then most sex, dating, and romantic advice for guys by guys wouldn't be how to get a (much) younger hot gal.

    "Women usually date a man only if he's good looking, but men date a woman based on her personality and kind heart. "

    LMFAO. Guys approach based on looks so guys choose to date a woman based on her looks and choose to continue dating her based on 'her personality and kind heart'.

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  • dude you have it all wrong. With that mindset, it is no wonder that you are single.

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    • Its not a mindset. And I'm single by choice. Read my question properly. I have been involved in relationships with both pretty and average girls. Its just that I have no interest left in dating, and I'm enjoying life playing video games and listening to music.

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    • one would think that at your age, 25-29 you would have learned how to go about things differently when it comes to dating. I think you should go out into the world and learn more about people in general, males and females, instead of staying in your house all day playing video games and writing posts on GAG, making up things about people instead of actually gaining real experience.

    • also if you had real goals and ambitions (and I don't mean getting to the next level in your video game) and focused on those instead of whining on GAG you yourself would be more of a quality man and would be able to attract a quality woman

  • Ummm, maybe you need to take another look at the male gender and reconsider your opinion. There are plenty of men out there who will only date beautiful girls. There are so many women out there who are dating some of the most hideous men with zero personality. Also, on the cases where men date women who are average.. maybe it's because men are sex mad and are willing to date anyone to actually get it. There are very few men I have come across who shows interest on a girl simply because she was a nice person. Would you date a girl you had been chatting to online and over the phone with without seeing a photograph first?

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    • lol I bet he would do that lol. to be someone withe views as mixed up as his, he would do the desperate creeper anonymous thing.

  • Wow, I've always thought it's the other way round. It's even biological - women instinctively look for men who can provide and protect them and their children, which goes beyond attractive face or body and in the modern world also includes good brains and nice personality, while even quality guys so often date complete bitches or fools just because they're pretty.

    I can notice it even by my own experience. The the more time I spend on make-up and hair, the more guys get interested, but you can never get a guy if you start discussing music or books or science. And, honestly, it sucks.

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  • i don't agree with a lot of these pots that its the other way around. I don't think it is one way or the other. A LOT OF PEOPLE will not even talk to someone f they don't find them attractive. Women/ Men. but then many will.. not everyone can only be attracted to looks. they fall for other aspects of a person. they allow themselves to be open to the magic of all the qualities. not just appearance.

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  • To be honest most couples I've seen are pretty much on par in the looks department. If one happens to look better than the other it's because the ar seeing something beyond the looks. Girls are pressured enough on their image these days so when the average girl (which is most of us) gets snapped up by the sauve guy then why should she say no because he is better looking?

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  • I'm sorry but that is so not true. Firstly I know a lot of men who only go for women based on their looks and nothing more. Likewise I know men who are concerned with personality more. Same goes for women. I find that if a person is not yet ready for a long term committed relationship or settling down then they will go for eye candy because its fun, once things get down to business that's when all other factors start playing a role. Science research has already shown that women are more likely to settle down with the average Joe looking guys (soft features, maybe a little flaby, etc) than a muscle men because subconsciously it denotes to us that they will be better caretakers (has to do with perceived testosterone levels). There are just way to many factors that play in relationships and attraction to make a such a generalized statement as yours.

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  • LOL @ guys dating girls for her personality and kind heart

    That's the biggest piece of bullsh*t ever

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  • I disagree with this statement. I haven't dated a single 'hot guy' because they're all ... I can't find a word other than jacka$$es. Sure I've had a crush on 'hot guys' But never actually gone through with a relationship with them. Also men usually date women who are beautiful and don't look twice at women who aren't very attractive. Sorry But I think women date menbased on their personality, and men date women based on looks and "oh man I'd look so good with her on my shoulder!"

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  • What parallel universe are YOU living in?

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  • Pffffftt not even idiot.Double standards from the sounds of it guys typically are shallow,women can be too but in my experience men have to be 100% attracted to you to get into any type of relationship with you it is rare they will settle for fat or average looking.

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    • I firmly oppose that. And its NOT double standards. I don' t need a woman to have a pretty face or slender body to be attracted to her. A woman's looks mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to me.

    • Well awesome QA, could you share you ideas with the rest of the male population?

    • Yes I can will they listen? probrably not.

  • I did not realize the tables have turned.

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  • ok, even most GUYS will openly admit they care more about physical appearance than women,

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  • This has got to be a joke.

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  • Is this even a serious question?

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  • Why do men care only about a women's looks...sigh... cold world.

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  • If anything it's the exact opposite dummy.

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  • Thats a horrible thing to say about girls.. you're making us sound like the vainest people ever! I don't know what kind of girls you know but I can speak for myself and pretty much all of the girls I know... We do not just go for looks.

    Yea when you're young and you're not looking for anything serious, of course go for the looks... its the exact same with guys! What planet are you from?

    When you're looking for a relationship personality is far more important, you know that! I'm 24 and I am very lucky with my looks, for me personality is 85% and 15 percent is looks.. It's the personality you have forever, looks fade.

    "Why do women only want to date good looking men, whereas we men are OK with dating average looking women?"... well done for doing you're bit for charity and dating an average looking woman..

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    • Its not charity work. I really don't give a damn about looks. To date a person based on looks is too shallow.

    • read you're answers... even some of the guys disagree with what you're saying. guys are sex obsessed, they'd jump on anything as long as they get their bit and don't have to see them after.. maybe that's what you mean by guys are OK with dating alright girls

  • Statistically, most people are going to believe that dating goes the other way around -- men place more value on looks first and personality secondary, than women do. "Men are more visual," is one of the most stated things in any advice book written for females. But looks do matter for both sexes...or at least, attraction does, which goes beyond looks.

    Likewise, assuming that someone plain is a good person will lead you astray. There are plenty of dirtbags who are ugly, just as there are good people who are gorgeous. (and vice versa) If you believe that, I have a feeling that you read in attraction to an anxiety response. That is, if someone makes you uncomfortable or is unfriendly, you may give them more credit for their attractiveness than exists on a objective level.

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  • This Is so biased and false.many, many men care about looks and want nothing less than a very beautiful woman to be seen with and show off to their friends.why you lyin?

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What Guys Said 7

  • LOL this is exactly what girls say about men...what are you on mate, it's the other way round.

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  • ugggh you are crazy there are tons of average looking guys with hot girls lol. I've had women tell me I'm good looking but I've never seemed to have any sort of dating or relationships with women.

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  • but hardly any couples where the man is average and the woman is hot.

    Jay-Z and Beyonce. I rest my case

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  • I think it's the same thing for men and women

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  • I would imagine for healthy kids

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  • start a regime and kill all girls who only date good looking guys

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  • Basically every single person cares about looks and personality equally

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