Mama's boys, and how to deal with them?

My 29 year old boyfriend's one. He is very sweet and loyal to me. We have great dates. we get along very well, the s*x is awesome.

But his mother.. Overprotective psycho. She once stood outside my door for 5 hours because he didn't answer his phone. She calls and yells when we're on a date and don't answer our phones. She eventually gets all nice again, borderline bipolar behavior. Not to mention she plays the "I'm alone and sick" card. Which is not true.

Another time we were at the cinema with some friends. She called us over 20 times. When he called back, she made a huge scene and told him that he HAD to meet her in 30 minutes so that they'd go to the market. He left in the middle of the movie.

I understand that in normal situations, having 30 missed calls is alarming (and totally acceptable in cases of emergency), but having them every day is just exhausting. We do try to ignore the calls, but having my phone off or silent is impossible (as other people may need to contact me), so we have to deal with our phones vibrating for half an hour. Not to mention the very rude texts.

Basically (and I know this is an awful thing to say) it's that kind of manipulative person that you just wish didn't existed anymore.

He does argue with her when she does those kinds of scenes, but I'm bound to hear from her all over again. Him living in her house doesn't help.

I'm a full time med-college student, so I still live with my parents. He works, earns a bit more than minimum wage, so he could rent a small apartment. But, from what I heard, momma's boys like the financial security of their mother's house.

So. If you are a momma's boy, what goes through your mind when your mother does that? Also, why do you subject to her erratic behavior? If you date/dated one, how do/did you deal with this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • That's not just mama's boy, he's completely whipped. Leave a movie to go to the market? Are you kidding me? If he was 21 it'd be one thing, but 29 and still can't tell his mommy no? This is going to be a life long problem for him. Yes she sounds terrible and I wouldn't wish her on anyone either, like you said, At the same time though, you're submitting yourself to this situation. If you two were to marry, she would be your family. Could you handle that? You must care a lot for him to put up with that, but it all sounds much to exhausting to me. If I were in your shoes, I'd tell him that some drastic changes need to happen, or I'm just going to have to move on. Sad but true, that would definitely be a deal breaker for me. What happens in my relationship with my guy is just between the two of us. His family doesn't come first, my family doesn't come first, the family us two are creating, comes first.

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What Guys Said 4

  • This is more than a mama's boy situation. She has total control over him. When I lived with my parents I never had this problem at all. If I lived with them now, I'd still have much more freedom than he ever will. He's beyond whipped and it's insulting.

    It's not like he's left the house a mess, he has to go to the market with her which is sad.

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  • It's a power game. She's doing everything she can to make you want to leave him.

    There is no place for you in her controlling life.

    Most women would think it's great to have their son dating a good girl, but you are a threat to her relationship with her son.

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  • I Love my family, but I'm dying to get the f*** out...I just can't afford too

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  • That is really sad. I would have probably stabbed my mother in her sleep if she tried that sh*t on me

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What Girls Said 3

  • A "Momma's boy" is a deal breaker for me. These moms emasculate their sons by doing everything for them (chores, laundry, etc.) and not teaching them life skills/lessons by SMOTHERING them and invading their social lives. This can lead to severe social/emotional impairment. Been there, done that. NO.

    It concerns me that he's that old and still living at home, when you said he could afford a small apartment. The economy is tough and the apartments around me are wicked expensive, but 1) he can find roommates and 2) I think most kids should be out of the house by 25 at least (especially if college/trade school is 4 years or less and they are making good money).

    Bets of luck to you. If he recognizes her behavior and stands up to her (he's 29 and a grown-ass man so he should) then there's some hope for you. If he cowers with a "yes mom" or puts her first before you when you guys get serious, well, no.

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  • Solution: Make love to your boyfriend in front of his mother, hand cuff her if you've got too. Make your boyfriend have an orgasm and you moan really loud, The mother will most likely be scarred for life and she'll refuse to ever speak to you guys again :D

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  • My boyfriend lives with his mom. But he's not a mama's boy. Actually I was more of a momma's girl when I started dating my boyfriend. She would constantly call me to ask where I was and when I was coming home.

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    • My parents do that too. It's cause girls are preyed on more often and we're generally physically weaker. It sucks. I could probably be out all hours of the night without them worrying if there weren't sickos out there.

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